Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I am now engaged!

Tuesday, 29th August 2006 has became a special day for both Lan and I. Why? Well... let me tell you the story.
Around five in the afternoon, Lan rang me telling me not to cook, because he will treat me for dinner. So I just waited with no thought of what will happen afterward.
In the middle of me watching Marrying a Mafia, my phone rang again. It was Lan, saying that he is outside the entrance door of the hall I live. It was about six o'clock. I quickly paused the movie, grabbed my keys and ran to open the door for him.

When I met him at the door, he was formally clothed and holding a bouquet of roses (and a plastic bag). I was surprised... for him to buy me a bouquet of roses in United Kingdom was the first time, I don't ask for it, because I know flowers are quite expensive here. Suspicion came to me for awhile along with the question 'what is he up to this time?!'. But I quickly brushed it off thinking that maybe he was just being nice since we only have several days left to spend with each other before I go home, never knowing that a big and sweet surprise awaited for me.

As soon as we got into my room, he sat me down on my chair and kneeled in front of me. 'Eh?! What is this?!'
Looking seriously, I could not help but sat there and listened to what he had to say. Along with his 'introductory' sentences, he took out a blue little box from his pocket. THE ring... I have seen the ring because he took me when we bought it, where I was SO dumb not realising that he was actually buying it for me.

Holding my right hand, he proposed to me, asking me to marry him...
After the big question, he did not straight away demand my answer. Instead, he told me a very beautiful poem that he made by himself (later on I know that he made so many drafts while writing the poem and tried so hard memorising it by heart and rehearsed so many times for this big surprise).
Along with the poem, came his declaration that he receives Jesus in His heart and becomes the child of God.

I was so happy... that I was left speechless. I really did not know what to say and what to answer. But I made my decision, as my heart told me so and as what I have been saying in my prayers. I answered him with a 'yes'.
Tears of happiness flowed from my eyes... really I did not expect he will give such a sweet surprise and such a memorable moment in my life.
I proudly say this to you all, my dear friends, I am engaged to the man that I believe God has sent to my life. One that He chose for me.
I thank God every time I remember that day; for letting me taste the joy of sharing His salvation to Lan and for the love that He planted and has grown in our hearts.

After the big moment, he really treated me for a nice dinner. It was a sweet celebration indeed... Roasted chicken, a bottle of Australian red wine and a chocolate cake; all he prepared for us.

The effort he put to make this surprise happened was not little... For the roses, he went around town looking for it. He walked quite far to get the chicken, cake and the wine. On top of that, he had to deal with the feeling of nervous, not knowing what my answer would be. I have to say... he is amazing!
The following is the poem that he made for me.
Life without you is like food without taste.
Life without you is like poem without words.
Life without you is like a symphony without sound.
Life without you is like the world without colors.

My love for you will not change until the birds will not fly anymore.
My love for you will not change until the stars will not blink anymore.
My love for you will not change until the sun will not shine anymore.
My love for you will not change until the snow become black.
My love for you will not change until all the ocean become desert.
My love for you will not change until all the mountains become sand.
My love for you will not change until the whole world become ashes.

Lan.

Ps. Thank you, Lan, for such a perfect surprise. I love you.

Ah... I have a fiancé, now. And I am loving him... and ever so sure that I made the right decision. Thank you, friends, for all your support, when I struggled and mentioned about the difficulties we faced in this relationship. Now, we would like to share our happiness with you all, through this post.
This is like a miracle... yes, God has His own time that no one knows when it is coming. However, I proved it so many times, He has the best plan for us.

God bless you!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Trying to relax

Finally, writing up dissertation is finished. I am waiting for my supervisor's feedback at the moment, so that I can polish it up for the final touch. Time feels so slow and yet so fast...
On one hand, I want it to slow down and give me more time to spend with Lan. On the other... I want to see my family. I can't help but cry if my thoughts come across this. So many 'what if' rise up between us in our conversations that often I have to try hard to hold my tears from rolling down. At least, by doing that, by acting strong, he will be encouraged and his worry will not be added.

The thoughts about the future can be very overwhelming and tiring... So many possibilities and yet so many uncertainties. All I can do and all I WANT to do is to lay my future and his down in Jesus' hands. I know, for sure, He has the best plans for both of us... and whatever happens; whatever comes in front of us, at the end of the day, I will confidently say, "It was worth going through it."

Right now, I don't have much time to spend with Lan, 9 days until 5th September 2006. And he has much more important thing to do; writing up his dissertation. It was hard, telling him to go home, telling him that he should set his first priority to that, when my heart tells different thing; wanting him to stay. But, I will not regret doing that... because I feel that is the right thing to do.
I, now, realize love can be very selfish and self-centered and it can also be very selfless that the person will sacrifice everything else for love's sake. I... want to learn to be in the middle of it; let him do whatever is more important for him and open my arms to hug him when he needs me. It is so difficult to do that... but that's how it should be.

Umm... why do I become so mellow when I am writing this post? I was planning to write something cheerful to tell you guys that I am back now. I'll be going around saying 'hi' to you in your blogs. So, wait for me!
These several days,
I want to look strong, so that when you see me, you feel that you are strenghtened.
I want to smile, so that, for the days we are apart, you will only remember the happy me.
And...
I don't want to say 'goodbye', because I want you to know...
I will be waiting, like you tell me to,
I am having the faith that it will be a happy-ending for us.

nie, 27 August 2006.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

grateful

Just feel like posting today...
In the midst of being busy, The Lord has been continually showing His love, mercy and blessings to me. A specific thing that He has opened my eyes to, has made me forever grateful. It adds to the numerous of proofs that He loves me so much, always gives the best for me and has the best plan for my life.
I am so so glad... I cannot even express how glad I am, but, believe me, I am!

Now, I can really say, "I have met the right man," and I admitted my mistake in the past and realized the previous ones (that I thought was right for me) was the wrong ones. The Lord brought them into my life just for temporarily; to teach me lessons. So, I will not regret the fact that they were part of my life, once. Rather than regret, I am thankful.

This posting is vague, isn't it? Hehehe... Never mind.

Have a blessed weekend, everyone!
Without you

From the moment I open my eyes to start the day, you are there...
In everything I do, you are in my mind.
Every where I go, I seem to see you.
Even in my dream, I can see you smiling at me...

Tell me what is this feeling!
Tell me what to do!

A day without you feels so grey.
A day without your voice sounds so quiet.
It feels as if the day is not complete...
Without you.

Nie @ Liverpool, 14.08.2006 - 19.41

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Till I post again...

I think it's better to let you guys know, rather than just gone missing with no news what so ever... I will be hiatus for an indefinite time (at the most until I finish my dissertation and fly home).

Right now, I have so many things to do and think about. So, I guess, it is better if I focus on the more important things, first.

Until then, God bless you all!

Adios!
Pretty boy - M2M

I lie awake at night
See things in black and white
I’ve only got you inside my mind
You know you have made me blind

I lie awake and pray
That you will look my way
I have all this longing in my heart
I knew it right from the start

Chorus
Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you


I used to write your name
And put it in a frame
And sometime I think I hear you call
Right from my bedroom wall

You stay a little while
And touch me with your smile
And what can I say to make you mine
To reach out for you in time

Chorus

Bridge
Oh pretty boy
Say you love me too

Friday, August 04, 2006

Away to Manchester

Sorry for not updating for awhile... Been trying to speed up on my dissertation. Since my supervisor will be back next week, I've tried to at least finish up the programming part. The good news is that it only needs polishing up and some testing to do. And soon, I will be writing up my dissertation.

For the weekend, I will be away to Manchester. Spending some time at my friend's house. She is having an Indonesian gathering lunch at her place. So, I am very looking forward on eating some home food. Hehehe...

I will visit you all when I get back. Till then, I hope you have a great weekend! God bless!