Monday, February 28, 2005

Sebel!!

Gimana gak sebel coba? Belum juga sakit lehernya sembuh, tau tau dah dapet gejala pilek! Mulai dari tadi pagi, aku bersin-bersin terus, hidung juga meleran. Huwaaaa.... ceritanya penderitaan tiada akhir nehhhh.... Leher sudah baikan sih dengan si koyo cabe yang puanas beraksi serta bantal yang dijemur di atas heater.
Mungkin aku kena gejala flu ini gara-gara tadi pagi berhujan salju ria waktu berlari-lari menuju Maths building dari bus stop. Haiya... benar-benar menyebalkan!
Belum lagi kelas mata kuliah Database-ku hari ini amat sangat membosankannnnn!!! Dosen pengajarnya sedang away entah kemana, jadi digantikan oleh orang lain. Tapi orang itu sungguh mengajar dengan tidak berguna! Bisanya cuma membaca dari slide, tanpa ada informasi-informasi tambahan (tidak seperti si bu dosen). Belum lagi suaranya datar tanpa intonasi, begimana tidak membuat orang terbuai untuk tidur tuh?! Mana itu kelas paling akhir pula, jam 4 sore sampai jam 5, yah nikmatlah sudah... Rasanya seperti pergi ke kelas tanpa ada gunanya sama sekali. What a day!

Tapi tapi... tidak semuanya menyebalkan. Di sela-sela jam kosongku, aku pergi ke bioskop dengan temanku untuk menonton Shall We Dance?. Bagus euy... It is a sweet romantic film! Richard Geere emang bagus deh kalo main film! Yah... ceritanya sih gak jauh-jauh amat dari love story lah... but it is a nice movie to watch. So, if you have the chance, then watch it! ;)

Dah ah... ngetik postingan ini sambil bersin mulu. Ini aja hidung dah buntu rasanya... Hiks... Naseb... naseb...

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Sakit Leher!!

Huwaaaa... hari yang naas untuk leherku!!
Gak tau deh tadi malem aku tidur model apa, bangun-bangun, leher bagian belakang rasanya pegel banget gak ketulungan... Noleh ke kanan atau ke kiri rasanya susah sekali! Jangankan noleh, ngangkat kepala aja setengah mati rasanya. Duh duh... mana ga punya tukang pijet lagi disini! Ada juga si Oen-oen yang iming-iming mau mijitin muluuu... (teganya dirimu!!!) Sekarang ini pake Koyo Cabe yang untungnya dibawain Mami pas berangkat ke sini. Duhh... tapi tetep aja ngerasa pegel di belakang leher ama sekitar pundak. Hiks... Oh Tuhan... kirimkanlah seorang tukang pijet kemari...

I had a great time in Church today! I feel that I have a family here. They are my brothers and sisters... They support me and pray for me. I came out from the service refreshed and feeling brand new. Now, I know how it feels the laughter of Holy Spirit. Oh God... I just could not stop laughing... I feel so happy! Thank you so much, Lord!

What about you all? Have you had a good weekend?

Thursday, February 24, 2005

C-O-L-D

Yep yep... as you all know, I have a new layout for my blog... Thank you so much to Anita for her time to make this sweet and cute layout for me. (Nit, aku bayarnya ntar pas ketemu kamu yah :p)
For the last two days, not much have been going on. It snows and rains. The wind is icy cold and I am shivering all the time. Lectures still go on though... sometimes they were boring, sometimes interesting. Still... no matter what, I have to attend them all anyway. Hehehehe...
I keep thinking that March is on its way to come in several days... Which means there are five birthdays from the people that I know of coming so soon... I've sent cards to all of them. Luckily enough they are all in Indonesia, so I am not obliged to buy them presents *grins* You know... I'll be broke if I am Indonesia... Buying each of them presents. Hehehehe...

In You...
I find my peace, my strength and my joy.
No matter what time of the day I come to approach...
You are there with open hands, always ready to carry me in Your arms.
You are my hope above all.
You are my peace, my strength and my joy.
You are my Beloved Father.


Update mode: ON
Happy and Blessed weekend for everyone!!! *cheers*
Update mode: OFF

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Snow...

White Febuary? Hehehe... It is so unusual in Liverpool to have much snow during a winter season. However, this winter, it has been snowing quiet a lot. It may not be as thick as it is in Europe or other parts of the world, but it is still snow and it is so colddddd!!! The wind is icy cold!
Also... I can't believe that it is already March next week! So fast isn't it? Too fast, even! I am actually frightened by the speed of time. In three and a half weeks time, I will be having Easter holiday. I don't know how I feel about it... hehehe... On one hand, it will be fun, but on the other hand, I am frightened. You know... exams are approaching again. Ahh... I think I've said enough. This posting is so not important, isn't it?! Hahaha.... Anyway, just to kill my boredom. *grins*

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Life Goes On!

Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone, who has tried to cheer me up and brighten my feeling. Yep... The disappointment lingered for a couple of days in me. It strucked me even deeper when my parents asked about it (I knew they would anyway...), but they know there is nothing can be done to change my marks. The most I can do and should do is to do my best in this last semester. I will do my best once again! I shall not stop!

Today, during the service at Church, a lady, whom I knew for almost 3 years now, asked me whether there is anything I need to be prayed on. The first word that came out from my mouth was "Confidence". I needed it so bad that I was not sure whether I can pass my Bachelor with a good degree... As she was praying, I could not help but cried. As I cried, I felt relieved as if all the burden in my heart has been lifted up by my Beloved Father.
I haven't cried so much on my own lately... usually I cry to Him on my own when there is a matter or two. I guess, I kept it inside myself this time and it sure was painful!
After we finished praying, I felt so much better. I felt my heart was light and I am stronger and confident. Now, I can say to myself: "I am able to go through this, do my best and get a good degree!". I feel great! *smile* The lady, who prayed for me, was smiling at me, giving a sense of peace and happiness. "Nothing is wasted.", she said.
It opened my mind... The Lord let me to go through all of these things for a purpose. Even if it is painful in this present time and may seem useless at all to the future, it is a great feeling to know that all of these thing, all of these lessons and knowledge won't be wasted. The time will come when I will be using what I have learned now.
I am happy now... Thank you, Lord! Thank you, everyone! *smile*

As I have said, Friday afternoon after my last class, I took the coach (big bus) to Manchester City Centre, where I met Rini for the first time. She picked me up and we went to Trafford Centre for window shopping and dinner.
After we finished, we went back to her house that is in Oldham, a little town just outside the city of Manchester.
I have to say that she has a nice, warm and comfortable house. I love her kitchen!!! It is so big that I think if I have a kitchen like that, I won't stop cooking all the time!
Her family is so friendly and great, too! Her husband is so easy-going, both of her children are so adorable! (In fact, I was playing hide-and-seek with them! Feel like five years old again *grins*).
Saturday, the whole family took me for a drive to a village called Saddleworth. Gosh... I saw plenty of beautiful sceneries! The air is so fresh, the village feels so friendly. I praise God for all that I saw!

What a Great Creator You are, o Lord!
Mountains, greens and rivers...
All so beautiful, merged together in harmony.
The human eyes can only adore...
The works of Your hands.
Yet, we, humans, are Your greatest creations.

------------------------------------

Show me, o Lord...
The path You prepared for me...
That I may walk in the right direction,
According to Your will and plans.

Pardon me, o Lord...
For complains and grumbles I made against You.
For I know not what the future may bring...
And as human, I am often careless.

Equip me, o Lord...
For the works You qualify me to do...
That I can glorify Your Holy name.

Thank You...
To let me know that I am worthy.
Love You, Jesus!

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Hidup Mati di Tangan Nilai?!

Saat ini aku akan jawab pertanyaan itu dengan sebuah 'IYA!!'. Ntah lah... Aku sedang merasa kecewa pada diriku sendiri... merasa bukan murid yang 'baik'.
Siang tadi, nilai ujian semester 1 diumumkan. Aku jengah melihat nilaiku sendiri bila harus melihatnya di kampus. Toh, pikirku, aku bisa melihatnya setelah kuliah nanti di rumah. Memang sekarang nilai-nilai dilihat melalui website Universitas... Kalau di rumah, perkara mau marah, mau bete, mau nangis atau ketawa karena saking ga bisanya nangis, ga ada orang yang akan lihat. Tapi apa mau dikata? Teman-teman semua mendesak... Ya mereka dapat nilai yang baik sekali, tapi aku? Aku tidak yakin...

Benar saja intuisiku... Nilaiku amatlah mengecewakan di dalam pandanganku. Terutama, ada satu mata kuliah yang amat sangat mengejutkan nilainya. Tadi, saat tak sengaja bertemu dengan dosen yang mengajar mata kuliah tersebut, dia pun berkata bahwa dia pun sangat terkejut dan kecewa akan hasilku. Karena dia berpikir aku bisa melakukan yang lebih baik dari itu... Di depannya, mendengar apa yang dia katakan, serasa aku ingin menangis. Air mataku sudah di pelupuk mata! "Cheer up!", katanya. Aku jadi merasa semakin terbanting... bagiku, tidak semudah itu menganggap remeh hasil yang sudah kuraih itu.
Memang, saat itu aku tidak sedang dalam kondisi prima untuk mengikuti ujian... Ingat bukan? Aku baru saja kembali dari Indonesia saat itu. Aku tidak sehat dan pilek berkepanjangan... Dosennya berkata, kenapa tidak lapor ke Board of Study soal hal itu sebelum ujian? Bukankah bisa dapat kompensasi? Aku orangnya terlalu praktis... tidak suka yang rumit begitu, harus mengikuti proses demi proses yang mbulet dan tidak jelas...

Lalu? apakah murid-murid lain pun akan merasa yang sama seperti aku? Atau hanya aku saja yang too hard to myself? Aku tidak suka orang-orang yang bilang: "You'll be fine!", when I am obviously not fine! Fake embrace!! Dan kenapa justru orang-orang di sini bisa hidup tenang dengan perkataan itu? Aku heran...
Saat ini aku benar-benar merasa hidupku tergantung pada nilai-nilai yang aku hasilkan... Inikah hidup seorang murid? *sigh...*
Oh God, tell me a way to tell my parents about this...

Have a blessed weekend everyone!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Don't Feel Like Alive!

Doh! This several days I really don't feel like alive! You know... I feel as if I was a body without a soul doing all my routine. After a whole day of lectures in Uni (from 9 am to 5 pm, with 4 hours of lectures straight with no break!) on Tuesday, I am completely drained and exhausted. No energy at all, even after having a day off today. (I think I need a week break or longer! =P)

Well, Friday night, I am going off to visit my friend in Oldham. I will be back on Saturday night... Huff... This reminds me how Oen-Oen complained about me buying the bus ticket for the night time not earlier. Hehehe... He actually is concerned and caring about me eh?! *Where is your conciousness for all this time, Sherly?! =P*
Anyway, the ticket was bought before I told him. Well... not intentionally, but when I was going to tell him earlier in Y!M, he suddenly just got disconnected and never logged back in again until the next day. The tickets were limited and I needed to tell my friend ASAP about it, so I just decided myself. That's how I got complained by him... *grins*

One thing that made me happy today was that... the package that I sent to Oen-Oen two weeks ago is already in his hands now. In other words: It arrived safely! I was worried that it got lost in the way... but, thank God! I am relieved and happy for that, since I spent quite a bit of my money on the items and the postage. Fiuh...

Hmmm... That's all for now, I think. My room is freezing cold right now. The heater is not working properly... *sob sob*

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Pohon yang Rimbun

Akhir-akhir ini aku kurang sekali punya inspirasi untuk posting di blog. Entahlah, sedang ga mood sepertinya... Namun ada satu hal yang tetap ada di pikiranku beberapa hari ini...

Beberapa hari yang lalu, aku berjalan melewati sebuah pohon yang berdiri tegak di salah satu sudut asrama tempat aku tinggal tiga tahun ini... Memang aku sering berjalan melewati area itu, terutama saat aku pulang kuliah, dari tempat pemberhentian bis sampai ke kamarku, aku harus lewat jalan itu. Hingga terakhir kali itu aku tidak begitu memperhatikan keberadaan pohon besar itu bagi makhluk-makhluk di sekitarnya.

Sore itu, aku penat dan letih berjalan melintasinya... Aku tertarik dengan suara kicau burung yang ramai, akupun otomatis mencari arah sumber suara itu. Sebuah pohon yang tinggi dan kokoh. Entah sudah berapa tahun pohon itu ada di sana, menurutku lebih dari 5 tahun bahkan mungkin lebih dari 10 tahun. Daunnya rimbun sekalipun musim dingin masih menggeluti daerah ini, tampaknya itu adalah salah satu dari jenis pohon yang daunnya tidak gugur di musim dingin. Dari suara kicau burung yang ramai itu, bisa ditebak bahwa banyak burung yang bersarang di antara dedaunannya. Pohon itu terlihat kuat dan tidak akan goyah sekalipun angin kencang menerpanya, dan bila hujan turun, di dalam rimbunan daunnya, air hujan tidak akan menembus masuk. Pintar sekali burung-burung yang bersarang di dahannya.

Lalu... seakan ada suara di dalam diriku: "Seperti itulah Tuhan-mu..." Aku tercengang. Ya memang harus kuakui... Bahkan, Tuhan adalah "tempat bersarang" yang jauh lebih baik dari pohon tadi. Bila pohon tadi tidak gugur daunnya saat musim dingin, Tuhan kita tidak habis kasihNya dan tidak meninggalkan kita saat kita dalam kesusahan dan dinginnya dunia ini... Dia bahkan datang, memeluk erat kita dalam kehangatanNya. Dia datang membawa kita dalam pelukanNya yang teduh saat kita tidak mampu berjalan sendiri... PerlindunganNya tidak habis dan omnipotent, kemanapun kita pergi, Dia bersama kita selalu bahkan... amat sangat dekat. Saat panas terik dunia menerpa kita, Diapun ada, menenangkan dan menyejukkan hati kita... Asal kita percaya dan berserah diri untuk dikasihiNya -- Ya... itu kuncinya, kunci untuk hidup dalam naunganNya. Dia masih membuka pintu... Masih menunggu kita untuk bersarang di dalamNya. Ahhh... Engkau memang hebat, Tuhan!

I am amazed, Lord!
By Your Wisdom...
By the Thought that You have put into me...

It is something that I never thought before.
Something new that You revealed to me...

I pray Lord...
That it may be a blessing for others.
That it may brighten someone's sad day.
That it will bring smiles to those who are crying.
Most importantly...
That it may bring Glory to Your Name!
Amen.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Hello Hello...

To start with, I don't even know what I want to say... Well, I think I should say "Thank you" to everyone, who wished me a happy new year through my shoutbox and comsys. Today, I don't feel too good. I am so tired from the trip to Birmingham yesterday.
It was part of fun time and annoying time as a whole. I shall not go in to detail since, really, there is no need on babbling about that. Birmingham is a nice modern city. It has huge shopping malls, unlike Liverpool *sob sob sob*. But, I don't think I want to live there... it is too expensive. The bigger the city, the more costly it is to live there!
As a celebration of Chinese New Year, we went to a Malaysian Restaurant for dinner. It was a small restaurant with great tasty food! I would not mind to go back to that restaurant again *as if I will... hihihi...* Unfortunately, I was not in a good mood, so I did not take any photos of the food.
Hmm... what else should I say? I really don't feel like discussing anything today... Was I just babbling away there?!

Two days no conversations...
I missed you...
I thought of you...
As if it has been ages.
I wished I can hug you and never let you go.
I missed you...

Monday, February 07, 2005

Bit of This and That

I'm not actually in the mood of posting something, but somehow I want to post something (confused, eh?!) Well, this week, go to Uni for lectures as usual. However, the exciting thing is that I am going to Birmingham with my friends on Wednesday(yay!!). I have never been there, so I think it would be a very good day for me. And, I have got permission from Oen (Akhir-akhir ini susah amat ngedapetin izin 'ngelayap' dari my dearest yg nun jauh di sana ini. Gak tau deh dia kena sindrom apaan... huhuhu...)
Oh well, other than that nothing else, just homework homework homework!! This is the life of a student *sigh*

I noticed today, the flowers are starting to bud again...
They are ready to welcome spring...
I noticed today, the sun does not set so early...
The night is shorten...
I learnt a lesson; God made everything balanced.
The seasons - summer, autumn, winter and spring...
The day and the night - sun and moon...

The Creator of all...
How great are your mights and wisdoms,
Beyond all measurements.
I am proud to be your creature.
Thank you.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Happiness

Habis baca postingan deppii tentang kebahagiaan, aku jadi terinspirasi dan tergugah untuk membahas hal yang sama di dalam hidupku...
Seringkali, aku merasa bahwa orang-orang di sekitarku itu hanya bisa menilai kehidupanku dari luarnya saja, mereka tidak begitu tahu apa yang terjadi sesungguhnya. Ya... bukan hanya orang luar saja, keluarga pun sering kali mengesalkan! Mereka beranggapan aku ini anak yang suka mempersusah orang tua, menghamburkan uang hanya untuk sekolah di luar negeri yang tujuannya hanya untuk gaya-gayaan. Dipikir mereka, hidup di luar negeri itu enak, serba nyaman serba mudah.
What a fool! Never mind... Aku hanya beranggapan bahwa mereka mempunyai cara pandang dan jalan berpikir yang berbeda dariku dan orang tua serta adik-adikku. Aku sadar benar dan mengakui, menuntut ilmu di negeri orang itu jauh lebih susah dan repot daripada bersekolah di Indonesia. Selain harus jauh dari keluargaku, aku harus mampu melakukan segalanya sendiri - harus berani untuk mandiri tidak peduli aku siap atau tidak, tidak peduli sudah waktunya atau belum, yang jelas, aku harus bisa mandiri. Akupun mempunyai tanggung jawab... Tanggung jawab terhadap uang yang orang tuaku kirimkan untuk biaya sekolahku dan biaya kehidupanku. Bisa saja koq... kalau aku mau, untuk menghamburkan dan berfoya-foya di atas kerja keras mereka... tapi, rasa tanggung jawabku harus kupertanggungjawabkan terhadap diriku sendiri. Karena... aku ingat orang tuaku berkata: "Bila kamu suatu berpikiran untuk berfoya-foya dengan apa yang kami sediakan untukmu, yang rugi bukan kami koq, bukan papi mami... Tapi kamu sendiri. Karena itu sama saja dengan bermain-main dan membuang waktu dalam hidupmu. Pada akhirnya kamu sendiri yang tidak mempunyai apa-apa."

Dan semua itu kupegang teguh. Memang nampaknya aku selalu bahagia, tersenyum dan tertawa. Namun ada kalanya juga aku merasa ada di bawah; tertekan, kesepian, kesendirian dan tak berdaya dalam kelelahan dan keletihan. Tetapi semua itu adalah bagian dari hidup setiap orang... semuanya itu, aku yakin, adalah pelajaran dalam hidup yang bisa membawa kita semua menuju tingkat kedewasaan yang lebih tinggi.

Menjalani semuanya ini; susah, senang, sedih, bahagia, aku bisa mengatakan dengan tegas: "Ya, aku bahagia. Aku bahagia dengan hidupku, dengan kelemahanku, dengan kesedihan dan kesusahanku."
Aku bahagia dulu orang tuaku sangat ketat terhadapku... Mereka mengajarku disiplin, jujur dan bertanggung jawab melalui banyak cara yang dulunya amat sangat kubenci. Kini aku menuai hasil dari pengajaran mereka; diam-diam aku dipercaya orang yang tidak terlalu mengenalku untuk hal yang vital dan masih banyak hal-hal lainnya.
Dan sekalipun keluarga besarku tidak begitu menyayangi aku, aku tetap bahagia. Karena aku belajar bahwa setiap orang perlu kasih sayang... dan aku harus mencerminkan kasih sayang kepada siapapun.
This life is beautiful.
My life is beautiful with its own bitterness and sweetness, I have happiness within.

Because life is a painting...
Different colours different feelings...
Sweet and bitter, happy and sad...

Every colour combines together to a colourful life.
Can you imagine a one-colour painting as in your life?
One and the same feeling for the whole life?
I think it would be dull, wouldn't you agree?

So, paint your life!
Colourfully!

Friday, February 04, 2005

Some things to say...

Just as expected, my works are piling up now. I feel so tired already... but, the time went so fast, the second week of the term has already passed. *sigh* Tired tired tired....
Next week, I am going to have a class test (Class test already on the third week?!) on one of my module. The lecturer said that it is going to be easy, but who knows?!
While I am making this new posting, I am waiting for my friend to call me. She is going to stay over-night at my place tonight. It should be good, we are thinking of watching dvds.
Oh well, I am not really in the mood of posting anything now due to the lack of sleep. Last night, I only had 4 hours sleep... I watched 'National Treasure' until 2 a.m. in the morning then went to bed. However, at 6 a.m., Oen-oen misscalled and sent a text message asking an urgent help; helping him to translate some documents from Indonesian to English, which need to be done that afternoon (morning here). So, I was fixing his grammar and mistakes at 6 a.m. in the morning until the minute I had to go to Uni for lectures (I did take a shower and had my breakfast, though.). And now... I am totally exhausted and rugged... God!

Oh well, no use whinging up. Have a blessed weekend everyone! *cheers*

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Good News

While having my day-off, I was at home; chatting with my parents, brother, Oen-oen and some friends, cleaning my room and cooking. When I was chatting with my parents, Mum told me that my brother, Erwin, got a conditional offer from University of Liverpool for Architecture course. However, he is required to do 10 pieces of portfolio (drawing) to successfully enter the course. Well, I think he is more than able to do it. Then, around 5 pm in the afternoon, Erwin was suddenly online in the messenger.
Right now, he is in Surabaya, spending time with my Mum's family, especially our youngest uncle. He is very close to our youngest uncle, we regard him as our brother, since he is only 4 years older than me and spent a lot of time together as children.
I called him in the messenger, asking how he is there and how he feels about the offer. I am happy for him, too. It will be brilliant to live together with him next year.
I love him so much... It is not as if I don't love my little brother and sister, but I feel there is a special bondage between him and I. He is my friend, one that I can talk about everything and he will honestly tell what's on his mind. He has grown... physically and mentally.
I will treasure the time when we were children, playing together, being naughty together *grins*

Overall, I am grateful and so blessed to have my brothers and sister like them all. They are the best! It would be the same thought for you all to your siblings, wouldn't it?

It is a blessing no one can replace.
The joy of having you all around me in the family...
Our laughter, our tears blend together.

For my little ones, one day you will agree...
God has given us the best siblings in the world...
Just the four of us understand the meaning of 'brother' and 'sister' in our family.
I love you all; Erwin, Hans and little Grace.