Journey of Happiness

Y ay!!! I cannot wait for Monday to come! It's Lan's graduation day and he will officially be a Dr. that day :) I am so proud of him! It's going to be a busy day; the graduation ceremony is at 3pm, followed by a short reception afterwards held by the department, and we are invited to a farewell party made for us by Daniel, Karolina and Michel (the colleguaes in the department). (I'm not quite sure who else is coming...) Tuesday will be the final packing day before we leave for Paris on Wednesday!!! *weeee!* I really cannot wait! Here is hoping that the weather will be warm, sunny and most importantly DRY on Monday and that our honeymoon is really enjoyable :) Alrighty... I hope you are all having a great weekend and will have a blessed week ahead :)

T oday, I've sent my application for the French Schengen visa via post. It should arrive there either Saturday or Tuesday next week *oh my dear Easter long weekend...* Lan and I feel much more relieved and making our Paris plan feel even more real and closer to a reality. I really hope I get this visa. Paris, one of the dream places in this world that I'd love to visit, it's actually in the number ONE position right now. We're coming, Paris, in July. Please let us come. On another hand, in less than 6 days Lan will be gone. I can't go, because I still have counselling therapies to go to as well as applying for the French Schengen visa means that I don't have my passport with me. On top of that, Lan goes home for a lot of important things to do; extend his visa, buy some flight tickets, look for an apartment for us to live in September, look out for a job and health check up, etc. I'll be here, resting myself and making peace with myself about withdrawing ...

L ately, I've just realised that all these years my life has been very much restricted. Living as a student is not always a good thing... I have always want to travel around, to see the country I am currently living in, to visit Europe, which is just around the 'neighborhood'. But, I never got to do that. There was always something that stopped from making the step; the money, the time, the VISA, et cetera. So, we're making a plan ahead... for the few months left here, I hope to get to see Europe for a bit. I am in the process of planning a trip to Netherlands, alone, while Lan is at home in Beijing to do some necessary stuffs. I really hope it does come true. And then the trip to Paris in July, after Lan's graduation. Heavenly Father, please hear my prayers and let the visa applications go smoothly. Amen.

L ast week, I had a little light-bulb moment of what to do with my time. So I decided that it has been a long overdue for me to go back and do some exercise. I hate sports with all my heart and soul. I am the kind of person who would easily trip herself with her own foot (or even over nothing!). Ever since I was little I am far away from being a sporty person. BUT, there is ONE, one sport that I love: swimming! And I thought, 'why don't I start going to the gym and swim once a week? That wouldn't hurt, right?'. Well, today, I went. I was glad the pool was not crowded, but I did have some blind moments (yes, I can't see without my glasses that well). Anyway, I have to say I was feeling nervous about it, but I went in. I did 5 laps (not continuously) (on a 33m pool) with a lot of struggles. I was quickly tired and running out of breath. Seriously, I think I need to take a swimming 101 lesson again! But I am glad I did it! After that, I showered and walked home. I ...

A fter the church conference in Sheffield, I was so tired and needed a lot of rests. Well, I did, but Sunday night I started feeling unwell and had a sore throat. It got really painful, but I thought I'd recover some day. Well, yesterday, I had to go to Doctor since I need a medical certificate for my study suspension, so I might as well check my throat. It wasn't just a sore throat. I have ulcers in my throat and infections... Mmmm... Not good. So I am on Penicillin for a week now, with fever running up and down every now and then. Argh... It hurts and drains my energy. I just feel tired constantly :( I hope it gets better soon. I want to enjoy eating my food...

S eems like the days are much longer lately, I still can see some daylights around 4-5 pm. That's a good sign! Maybe Spring really decided to come early, because I've seen some beautiful sunshiny day today :) I can't wait for Winter to be over. Yep, I have enough Winter for now... give me warmth and no-bulky-jacket any time, I'll gladly take it! Lan's viva is 3 days away... He's nervous, very... Chocolate and snacks are on their way to soothe him hehehe... I am pretty sure he'll do a great job on it! :) I am on the mend... still exhausted and out of focus at times, but I am making effort to go to office this week, doing my study. Hopefully soon I can feel better enough to resume my driving lesson. I want to get it over and done with! These two days there is an exciting topic in Lan's and my conversations! Vacations! We're hoping to go to Paris, Disneyland and Wengen (Switzerland) after Lan's graduation (and hopefully my thesis submission!)...

M y body is not well at the moment. No matter how much I sleep, I always wake up feeling tired and anxious. And when I am hungry and start to eat, I suddenly don't want to eat anything. It's bugging me... This morning, my nose started bleeding... It's 15.00 and I've had 3 nosebleeds in a day. Never had that before, never had nosebleeds often in my life either. So, after lunch, Lan took me to see a GP (General Practitioner) aka Doctor. She said I might have a bacteria infection (but it's strange because I have no fever) or, it's also possible that something is wrong with my thyroid level. So, she ordered a blood test for me, 4 different tubes. And I was such a baby, I loathe to get my blood taken! Oh, and when she took my blood pressure, it was 80/130, which is high for me, since I tend to have a lower blood pressure than that. Well, it's going to be a week before I know the results of my blood tests. In the mean time, the GP told me to take things eas...

H ad an hour driving lesson today, instead of the usual 2 hours. I did a very bad mistake... not stopping at the pedestrian crossing when light was red *oops!* Luckily it wasn't a test. Let's say... I was hesitating too much. On another topic, I start knitting again! *Yay!!* I am know knitting a baby hat, a preparation for the future hehehe... I love knitting, but I hate the prices of the yarns! Yes, there are some cheap and reasonably-priced yarns, but I can only use the yarns that are not made of any microfibres. It has to be cotton or wool. I guess these days, natural stuffs are more expensive that those man-made stuffs... *sigh*

E very time you send your little flurry kiddos down around Liverpool, I'd jump up and down happily like a little girl getting her favourite candy. That ONLY happens when I am actually INSIDE the flat and looking OUTSIDE our huge window! Once I am actually outside, I'd be wishing in my heart, you'd send a little less of your kiddos down, because, hey, it's freezing cold and icy! How about you save those flurry kiddos until AFTER 11 January 2011? Because really, I can't afford having my driving test to be postponed again just because of snow! I hope you hear my plea on this, I'd appreciate it! xoxo A learner who wants to be a proper driver!

M y driving went a little better, today. I've managed to control the steering well, there were just some little things that made it crappy... The major thing is that I was looking for a road on the LEFT, when I am supposed to be going to the RIGHT... Gah... Why oh why I always get my LEFT and RIGHT messed up like that?! Lately, I've been feeling sleepy and tired easily, although I've had quite a lot of sleep during the holiday. I am not sure why... but I know during the night, while sleeping, my brain is so active that in the morning I just feel so exhausted :( It's as if my body needs a whole lot sleep than usual... and here I am in the office trying to fight this sleepiness :( Oh well... I know I've got a pile of assignments to mark, so I've got no choice! Oh, and on top of the sleepiness, lately I would be hungry but can't eat much... I suddenly want those junky food like KFC, McD, etc... what a bad wanting, right?

T oday, after 2 weeks holiday, I'm back driving again. It was a really shaky performance, as my nerve got on me. I really have to get my driving skill back the way it was before next Tuesday, because I'll be having my test then! In a week time... My biggest problem was confidence... I was lacking in confidence and I didn't believe in myself while driving :( So this whole week, I'll be telling myself over and over again... "Hey, you can do it!"

i s never easy. I failed my mock driving test today :( Yeah... I feel crap and disappointed with myself. I feel like I disappointed my husband for all the financial support he had given me... I panicked and totally messed up my driving; almost hit a car, too fast, didn't stop on-time... I could go on and on on my mistakes, but yeah, I went home upset. It's tough to face a failure, but I am blessed to have a gorgeous and supportive hubbie. He comforted me and soothed my mood. Thank you God for him. So, it just means I have to practice more... fix my mistakes, learn from them and prepare for the big exam! Lord, help me on that!

S o... the implementation part of my program is done, now I'm in the middle of the bridge and about to cross over to experimenting stage. And this is the most painful part of all... debugging. When you have hundreds lines of codes and your output gives an exact opposite of the expected answer, you'd go crazy. That's what I am now... crazy! My program is not quite correct. I am super frustrated about that........ Why can't it just be right and give me easy time? LOL! So, I'm totally not happy about that :( On top of that, I've got a meeting with my supervisor, this is not going to be a good news. *sob* I guess I just have to say what I have to say! Aside from that... I'm going to have my mock driving test on Saturday. I hope I pass it so that I can just get onto the real exam next month, instead of spending more money for additional driving lessons. Oh well, at least tomorrow it's Friday. I'm glad. God bless!

D on't you hate it when you find something bad makes your day feel soooo long? Even hate it more because it's a Friday? Yes? Well... that's how I feel right now. For the last few weeks I have been implementing a program in Java for my PhD and I am almoooost finished. HOWEVER, it's when you ARE almost finished, you find all these annoying bugs and things that are stopping you to actually finish it! *GAH!* I feel so frustrated! I wish Friday is a weekend too! LOL! That's my daydream, to declare that Friday is a weekend! I'm sure MANY people gonna love that! Hehehe... Anyway, out of my frustration comes a blessing! I am so blessed to have Lan, who always willingly helps and supports me. He actually helped the situation and provided me with some alternatives to move forward. Praise The Lord for a very smart husband I have. :) On the other hand, days have been much shorter lately and the winds much chiller. We are putting the clock backwards on Sunday (ends o...

I have heard so many explanations on how high blood pressure can endanger life and on how many people have this problem, but low blood pressure? Not too common right? Apparently, I am one of those people with low blood pressure. Yesterday, I could not get out of bed because of severe headache. It was so painful, it's like annoying and painful nudges at the back-side of your head. So, I was energy-drained and had to make myself do things slowly, otherwise, I'd start feeling dizzy. Having a mother-in-law as a chemist is very useful for me, because she gave Lan this handy blood pressure measurement device *whatever the real name is! :p*. So, I checked mine up... 90/43 was my lowest reading. Lan said, I should be DEAD with such a low pressure *geez, what a guy!* Anyhow, that's the culprit of my painful headache and dizziness! Even I don't understand why it can get that low! And yes, I had constant headache the whole day and it wasn't pretty! Does anyone of you have...

CHRISTMAS!!! C an you believe that?! I can't! Wow time is faster than just flying! I feel like 2010's new year day was just yesterday and now we are approaching Christmas already! The shops are selling Christmas trees, decorations and gifts already! WOW... soon it's going to be 2011. I am excited! Lan and I have lots of plans and we really hope that most of those plans can come to reality. :) I am super excited that Lan is finishing off his PhD on 6th December 2010. So at least he can start looking for jobs and we are not limited for just being students. I am nearing the end of my driving lessons. Hopefully next month I'd be confident enough to do my practical driving exam! I want to have my proper license and I start to enjoy driving and able to control the car better than before. Oh well... I better go and do my work now. Take care!

I have started to feel the real pain of having a long and unusual surname since I was 15 years old, when I went to Australia to study. And since then, I really have a bitter-sweet relationship with my surname. After more than 10 years hearing people pronouncing my surname weirdly, I kind of get used to it. When I officially became Mrs. Zhang, we decided not to change my maiden name. Simply because there are just too much paperworks to go through and we did not really have the time, the money and the energy to do it. So, the reality is that I am Mrs. Zhang by reality and Ms. Nietiadi on the legal stuffs. Do you know what's painful about that mouthful maiden name? It's when I need to tell people my surname, whoever they be, I'll have to spell it to them at least twice and *gah* that's one long surname. Or, even, when someone sent me an e-mail and they said they typed it right but it bounces back to them and they said there was something wrong with my e-mail. It tur...

A fter more than 6 years and 593 posts later, I am still here and blogging. I have to say I am not really a die-hard blogger. I don't post as regularly as I want to, but I am still loving my blog. It's like a living journal for me, though it's not as specific as what actually happened in my life, but it records the last 6 years pretty neatly... There are times where I just love to browse my old posts and re-read them, remembering what actually happened those time. Through blogging, I've also met a few of dear friends. =) Now that I am married, I don't feel as much as the need to share here as I used to, because I have a hubbie, whom I can share to almost instantly about anything and everything. Life's been wonderful than ever these 3 years. Yes, we fought, we cried, we hurt each other's hearts, but there were (and still are) lessons to learn. Above all those, however, we are happy. I truly love Lan, from the bottom of my heart, and truly believe he is th...

I finally got the mood to revamp my blog =) So now it has a simpler and cleaner look! And I'm loving it. At the same time, I've changed my designing blog into a similar style, check it out HERE ! We'll be going off to London tomorrow for the weekend. Daddy Philip, a pastor that is like my own daddy, is coming down to London from Kuala Lumpur for the weekend. So, we have planned ages ago to go down and meet him. It'll even be better because my brother, Erwin, is also coming down from Brighton! It'll be nice. Well, that's it for now. See you soon!

I nternet was finally back on yesterday, praise God! That's quite a relieve. Lan is recovering from a bad cold. My parents are already asking for us to go back home again. Ha! I wish... Hehehe... Yeah we miss them a lot, too, but if we keep thinking about going home, how are we ever going to finish these PhDs? LOL! In about 3 weeks time, Bachelor students are back, that means I'm back to be a teacher-assistant. That means a bit more money for saving :) Weather has been perfect these days, sunny and not too cold. I love that perfect balance. I've been dreaming lots of strange vivid dreams lately. Getting married again, in the airport, having a herd of doggies and huge house, and many others. Phew, I don't even know what's going on in my brain. What I know is that it makes me feel exhausted every morning. ... And that has made me very random, lately!