Friday, December 29, 2006

2007 in my thought

I clicked through my blog yesterday, for the posting throughout 2006, and found that at the beginning of the year my aim for 2006 was to finish my Master degree with a distinction pass. Actually, it was successfully fulfilled. In November, I got the results for my Master course and I jumped with happiness to know that I pass the Master degree with Distinction. (All glory and honour only to Jesus, who gives me the abilities to go through and finish another chapter of life and gives me victory!)
So, really, for the last several days of 2006, it is only right if I give thanks continually to my Father in Heaven for all the blessings, joy, peace and love He gave throughout the year. And these thankfulness shall not terminate all the days of my life.

So, what's ahead of me? Well... several weeks ago, my plan was to return to UK in December, find a job and to be with Lan. But things change and not all can go according to our desires.
Now, the future is completely different from what I imagined several weeks ago. I will be at home (Denpasar), for I don't know how long, until I get a definite position in one of the Universities I have applied for a PhD course. Yes, I am going to study again hehehe... And this time, I will only study under one condition; getting a scholarship. I depended enough on my parents, now, it is time for me to be independent. My brothers and sister still need my parents' support more than I do, and they deserve to receive the same education support like me.
Indonesia's economy condition makes it hard for my parents to support me this time. I know that and I don't want to be selfish. I know my place and position. So, this time, I will try my best and with Jesus by my side, I shall not fear anything. For I believe, with God, nothing is impossible!

At the moment, I got an interview invitation for 18 January 2007 from University of West of England (UWE) for a PhD studentship position in Applied Mathematics, which I thank The Lord for! At the same time, I have submitted my application form to University of Liverpool (UofL) for a PhD position in Computer Science. And I'm in the process of submitting my application form for scholarship award.
Personally, I'd prefer to return to Liverpool, because their research history is much better than UWE. However, with UofL, I have to work on finding a scholarship by myself, as right now, they don't advertise for studentship, i.e., I have to apply for the scholarship separately from the PhD position.

Therefore, friends, I kindly ask for your support in prayers. These days, sometimes doubts come and try to destroy my faith and belief. My worldly thoughts tries to block my trust in Jesus, which suppose to know that nothing is too hard for my God.
So, please help in prayers. Thank you very much in advance.

That's all I want to share for the day. Until the new year comes! Jesus be with you and bless you always!

Rejoice! Jesus loves you!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Several days to 2007

Christmas has just passed, but I'm still feeling Christmasy. There is nothing fancy about it, but being with my family is something special and rare to experience. There were years, when I was far away and had to celebrate Christmas all by myself (with Jesus, of course!).

Everybody knows that year 2007 is only several days away from 2006. As for me, I start to think about I've done for the whole years. Maybe I should reflect by looking back to the postings from January 2006 in my blog. I am quite sure I wrote almost everything in the blog, except for very personal matters. What about you all, my friends? Have any special events to celebrate the New Year's Eve? It's a Sunday, so for me, it's the Church service for sure. *grin*
And I know what I want to do for the New Year's Eve... I want to give thanks to my Lord, Jesus Christ, for the whole year 2006, for His blessings, guidance, love and everything. No matter how bad things went and how sad I became at times, it has been a GREAT year with Him. It taught me many things and brought me closer to Him.

And I will live with no regrets, even if I feel sad when I look back, I will still have no regrets. There is no use in regreting, for it doesn't change a thing. And I hope it is the same thought of you all. :)

Okay, that's all for now. It was just some thoughts of mine today. Jesus bless you all!
The past was a lesson.
The present is time of correction.
The future is vision.

And FOREVER, Jesus is our FAITHFUL companion.

- nie, 26 December 2006

Thursday, December 21, 2006

My warmest greetings to you all...

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!

Update:
This Christmas, we put up a simple little old white Christmas tree that I got years ago from my grandma.
This Christmas, no fancy dinner or cookings.
This Christmas, no definite plans for the year ahead.

This Christmas, though, I am grateful to celebrate it with my parents and my little siblings.
This Christmas, though, I celebrate it with Jesus inside my heart, closer each second.
This Christmas, though, Jesus has given me such a sweet gift and many others.

And all I want for this Christmas is JESUS. Just HIM, that's all.

Have a blessed Christmas, my friends! Rejoice! It's our Jesus' birthday!

*hugs*

Sunday, December 17, 2006

barbie, starfolding & food

Days are 'long' for me to still be at home. I am glad that this year I will be able to celebrate Christmas and New Year with my parents and little siblings. It's Jesus' birthday, it's a super special day! And I'm excited to think about that.

Move on from that, you might think "What does Sherly do at home?". Well, these days, I am 'busy'. There are many things to do, believe me... *grin* Closer to the holidays, there are many visitors coming, they are usually my parents' friends. In that case, we always try to become a good host for them, we take them around and make sure that they enjoy their stay. With my family's tradition to always go out together, makes me always busy travelling around Denpasar (that means I am bound to be sitting in the car almost the whole day sometimes!).
However, when I really do get time to stay at home (i.e., the family is not going anywhere), I will be playing with my little sister or doing origami. Playing with my sister could mean anything; from helping her with homework, giving her a bath, or even playing Barbie with her, which I just did today! It brought me back to about 9-10 years ago, where I used to play it all by myself. Today, as I promised her yesterday, I took out all my Barbie toys, set them up and played a bit for her, then watched her play (my right leg was too painful to sit and move around on the floor!). But, yeah..., I became a little girl again for awhile and it was still fun! :)
Doing origami is one of the things I enjoy. Since September, I have tried many other paper-foldings; strawberries (which are very cute!), flowers and roses (which I failed to master the skill *sob*). I switch between folding stars and other shapes to avoid boredom. The last time I counted, I have around 1200 stars already and I'm still making them. Mum gave me a big water bottle (for those in Indonesia, they will know the 6 liters Cleo water bottle!) to fill up! Hehehe... What a job, eh?

So far, I told you about several hobbies of mine at home (I still have a lot more!), but the routine of mine is to enjoy my home food hehehe... My mum's cooking or any food that my parents give me. I think I'm getting fatter *blush*

But, more important than that, I am still busy looking for information about PhD Studentship in UK!!! Pray and try... I have faith that Jesus will give me such a sweet gift for Christmas! He told me so! :)

That's all for now *such an unimportant post, eh? :P* Jesus bless you, my friends!!

Friday, December 15, 2006

cium tanah air

Hari ini, aku jatuh di Hard Rock Hotel. Kaki kananku luka-luka semua *hiks* Sakit banget euy! Gara-gara tangganya licin, sakit semua deh... Biru lebam dan merah darah, serta bengkak yang kerasa banget bikin aku ngerasa gak karuan.
Blum lagi hatiku rasanya lagi porak poranda... saat ini window MSN ngobrol sama dia masih ter-minimize. Saat hening. Tadi ngobrol pun rasanya masih perih. Dia bilang kita teman baik, tapi apa benar dia sudah merasa demikian di sana? Apa iya teman baik tuh tahu segala-galanya tentang temannya, sampai hal-hal personal? Aku masih merasa miris.
Sekalipun aku merasa aku sudah move on, sudah bangkit dari rasa sedih dan sudah bisa rela, tapi hati masih bergejolak.
Mungkin aku perlu beberapa saat lagi.

Sementara itu... PhD applicationku sudah masuk database mereka dan dalam tahap pemrosesan. Tolong bantu doa ya, friends! Doa untuk kelancaran serta supaya Tuhan Yesus buka pintu untuk sebuah scholarship, karena jujur aja ortuku gak sanggup membiayai aku. Dan masa sudah dibiayai sampai master, aku masih mau terus bergantung sama mereka? Kasihan adik-adikku nantinya. Aku ingin kasih mereka kesempatan untuk juga bisa mengenyam pendidikan setinggi dan sebaik aku. Jadi, tolong bantu doa yah. Aku percaya doa itu sangat besar kuasanya.

Ya sudah, itu aja hari ini. God bless you all!

Ps. aku kali ini tulis bs. Indo supaya dia ga ngerti apa yang sedang aku gumulkan, kali aja dia membaca. :)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

blogwork

Lama ga pernah dapet 'PR' blog, kali ini, Icha ngasih aku PR. Here we go:

5 Alasan kenapa saya suka blogging:
1. Jadi saluran hobi nulis
2. Jadi salah satu alat untuk aku mencatat serta membagikan betapa Tuhan Yesus itu nyata dalam hidupku
3. Jadi tempat curhat
4. Jadi salah satu buku harian yang bisa aku update dimanapun aku (asal ada internet)
5. Bisa punya banyak teman.

5 tipe blog yang saya sukai:
1. Isinya seru, menguatkan iman dan menarik.
2. Isinya tidak dibuat-buat, alias memang benar-benar terjadi.
3. Tidak terlalu bertele-tele
4. Pemiliknya ramah.
5. Blog contentnya ga terlalu banyak/ yang penting-penting aja.

5 blogs yg paling sering saya kunjungi: (sama kayak Icha :D)
1. Blog sendiri
2. Blog temen2 yg ada di list
3. Blog yg ngasi komen ato ninggalin pesen di shoutbox.
4. Blog yg direkomendasiin temen
5. Blog yg pemiliknya jg sering ngunjungin gw.

5 blogger yg dapet giliran ngerjain PR:
Yang ini, sapa aja mau ngerjain boleh deh. :)
The tears I cried become diamonds,
The love you left becomes gold,
And the heart you broke becomes powder of rubies...
In the eyes of Jesus Christ, I am His precious jewel.

Sherly Nie - 03 December 2006

Saturday, December 09, 2006

After a week

A week has passed away since the tearful moments I had. Yes, I was in shock, too. However, reality wakes me up, this is for real... I'm not dreaming. I guess it's time for...
"The Long Goodbye"

I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free (so they say)
But it sure is hard to do
Yeah, it sure is hard to do
And I know they say if they don't come back again
Then it's meant to be (so they say)
But those words ain't pulling me through
Cos I'm still in love with you
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
But it's just you and me going through the mill
(climbin' up a hill)

[Chorus]

This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?
No matter how hard I try
You're gonna make me cry
Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it
All that's happening here is a long goodbye

Sometimes I ask my heart did we really
Give our love a chance (just one more chance)
and I know without a doubt
I turned it inside out
And if we walked away
would make more sense (only self defense)
But it tears me up inside
Just to think we still could try
How long must we keep riding on a carousel
Going round and round and never getting anywhere?
(on a wing and prayer)


[Chorus x3]

The long goodbye x2
This is the long goodbye

Someone please tell me why

Are you ever coming back again x3
Guess I'm never coming back again.

Song by Ronan Keating.

Through this, I thought I'd be alone... but I'm not. I have Jesus, my supportive family (my mum especially! Thanks mum!), and my beloved friends (Esp. Yulia & Mee-a! I know you two were thinking about me a lot).
If it weren't them, I'd be crazy right now, depressed and stressed out. I especially thank my Jesus for holding my heart in the palms of His hands, for listening to my prayers and the knowing how my heart feels. I feel so much better, lively and happier than a week ago, although I have to admit that sometimes it still hurts badly. However, I manage to smile and to play with my little brother and sister. One thing though that's still hard to do... is to sing. My heart is still heavy to do that, but soon, I'll praise and worship Him again with my voices.

Ps. Dear Lan, if you happen to read this, don't feel anything negative or sorry. It was meant to happen the way it is. Instead, I would like to thank you for such a heart that you have, that still wants to befriended with me and for you to always reply my emails as good friend. God bless you always, my friend!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Another new chapter

Hello all my friends! I am back after hiatus for a while, with a new blog design and new chapter of life...
What do I mean by new chapter of life? Well... sadly, Lan and I did not make it through. Due to some personal matters, we agree to be just friends. It is not that we didn't try hard enough, we did... but God's plan says different and we chose to follow. And we are just human, who can feel hurted, sad and broken, it was such a difficult decision that we had to take.
So... here I am, all alone again, but with Jesus all around me.

I also have decided to postpone my trip back to UK until January. I need some time, to adjust with the lost in my heart and to take care of something. Please, I ask you all kindly, pray so that The Lord strengthen me and also that The Lord opens the door for me for my future. I am planning to find a scholarship/sponsorship so that I can continue to study a PhD in Computer Science.
Please... please... please... I need your prayers and support. Thank you in advance! :)

Okay, that's all for now. God bless!
My dear...
We had tried our best. Yes, we really did.
We loved each other with all our hearts. Yes, we undoubtly did.
But we know, life does not always go the way we desire.

It hurts to the bones.
Yes, that's an honesty from me.
An angel with a pair of broken wings,
I feel I fell from high above,
Wounded and broken to pieces.

I need time to gather the pieces...
And so do you.
All that we've been through,
I treasure them as sweet scented memories.

Farewell my dear...
Until we meet again as friends.
I pray for God's blessings to be upon you,
And all is well throughout your ways.

With all my love... just for Lan.

Sherly Nie, 05 Dec 2006.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

gone for sometimes

*Again* I will be on hiatus, friends!
Tonight, by car, my family will be on the road to Surabaya. My dad will drive us all the way there. We are going for 'holiday' because it's Galungan & Kuningan holiday here, so my little bro and sis are on holiday.
It's also going to be my grandma's birthday. And I have to renew my passport.

So many things to do, so little time I have...

God... I am so tired... and so heartbroken...

Sunday, November 19, 2006

dua2: double portion!

22years old - umurku sekarang. There is no difference between 21 and 22, it feels the same...
But yeah... with increasing age, comes an increasing responsibility. My mum called me a grown-up now, so I have to become one. I am glad, though, I can celebrate my birthday with my family and Viona (my uni friend, who came specially from Jakarta). It's such a rare thing for me to be able to celebrate my birthday at home. It felt so good to be in the midst of my family.

But it wasn't complete, since Lan was far away... Then again, somehow, I felt he's always around me and be with me. He's so close to me; in my heart, in the beat of my life. Actually, every year of my birthday always teaches me how much I am loved in this world; by my Papi Mami, my brothers & sister, my daddy Philip (who specially came down from KL to Denpasar to see me), my friends (Yulia, Viona, friends in FS and also all of you, who wished me a happy birthday) and also people around me.

For the year ahead, the 22nd year of my life, God gave me a verse from the Bible (Proverb 3: 4). I shall hold on to it. I know, He has good plans for my life and it will be fulfilled! Amen!
This year, my life will be even better!

Okay guys, I'm so sleepy now. Love you all! God bless you!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Education fair

Okay, friends... I am back with the full stories I promised you all, yesterday... Here we go!
Sunday, 05 Nov 2006 Singapore - Malaysia Education Fair in J. W. Marriot Surabaya, 2 p.m. until 8 p.m. It was a busy afternoon, especially for me it was the first time, I ever touched on marketing. I had to promote the James Cook University (throughout the fair). Something embarassing happened during the fair *of which I better not tell, hehe...*
The night, Mee chan stayed over. We talked until about 2.30 a.m. I am still glad that we met twice (I met her on Thursday, the night I arrived in Surabaya). She became like a sister immediately. We shared and talked as if we are friends for a long time already.

Monday, 06 Nov 2006 Education Fair at Regent Hotel, Malang. We left Surabaya with a chartered bus at 9 a.m. I got to see a little bit of Lapindo hot mud, but nothing special or exciting. Malang's fair wasn't as good as the fair in the other places. It was very boring, but from there the madness of the crews begun. Hehehehe...
Got home around 12 midnight, feeling so tired. Had to pack up for the next day.

Tuesday, 07 Nov 2006 Education Fair at Sanur Paradise Plaza Hotel, Denpasar. Yup, we went back to Denpasar. The fair was great and I got to go home for a night, before we continue our journey. All the Singaporeans (the representatives of all schools) were very excited to be in Denpasar and asked me where to go. I recommended Warung Made, which turned out to be a good choice and they were all pleased.

Wednesday, 08 Nov 2006 Day off, journey to Solo. We took the flight around 1.10 p.m to Jogjakarta and then hopped on the hotel bus to Solo. For dinner, we had gudeg at Adem Ayem restaurant, which was superb. And we had a chance to go to Solo Grand Mall for window shopping. Two school representatives, Patrick & Pak Emil, and I managed to had some coffee and enjoyed a live band performance at the 'Intro' lounge and resto. It was a great relaxation day. We had fun and laugh.

Thursday, 09 Nov 2006 Back to work. Solo Fair at Novotel hotel. It wasn't as crowded as Surabaya or Denpasar, but good enough and not as boring as Malang. We managed to make jokes and laugh throughout the fair that day. Hehehe...
At night, we went to eat nasi timlo, which was good but not as good as the gudeg from the day before.
When we came back to the hotel, some of us went straight to sleep, the rest agreed to go to the Pub to have fun for awhile. So, I & 4 school representatives (Yenti, Liem a.k.a PSB boy a.k.a chicken little, Maclean a.k.a BigMac a.k.a MacDonald, and Patrick a.k.a Pat a.k.a Ernest), went to the pub. We had some drinks (I had two glasses of JD soda, like Pat) and watched Mr. Bean animation, followed by some ugly karaoke times. Can you actually imagine 5 grown-ups watching Mr. Bean ANIMATION in a pub?!?! :p

Friday, 10 Nov 2006 The toughest day of the week! 04.30 a.m. we had to wake up. Had breakfast at 05.30 a.m., checked out of the hotel and went to the airport to catch the Sriwijaya plane to Jakarta at 07.00 a.m. Arrived at 08.00 a.m., a bus already waited to take us straight to Bandung. Arrived in Bandung around 12 midday at Holiday Inn hotel, we had to set up for the fair. Had a quick lunch, then the fair started from 02.00 p.m. to 07.00 p.m. It was a very busy fair! The busiest among all the other cities.
09.00 p.m. we finished packing up and got back on the bus to go back to Jakarta. Got to Jakarta around midnight and we were all tired.

Saturday, 11 Nov 2006 & Sunday, 12 Nov 2006 Jakarta fair at Arya Duta Hotel. We were all very impatient in finishing the fair, because of tiredness. Even so, on Sunday, we were sad that we had to say goodbye to each other, when everything was finished. I think we all will miss each other very much; the time together, the laughter and the craziness!
At 07.00 p.m., Yulia, my bestest friend, picked me up at Arya Duta hotel. We had dinner with Pat (who happened to be going home the next day) at Restaurant Padang. Then, we went to Kafe Pisa, had some ice cream (tiramisu flavour was so so yummy!!!) and I had two JD sodas again, same with Pat. We enjoyed the live band D'Cinammons very very much! The singer has a very good voice!
Around 11.00 p.m., we decided to leave and take Pat back to the hotel, before heading back to Yulia's home. Kisses on the cheeks to say goodbye to Pat... He's a great person to know; a very cool and funny person! I hope to see him again in the future.
Later at Yulia's home, we both watched the disney cartoon 'Stalion', while waiting for our hair to dry out. We also talked through the night, filling the gaps for the time we were far from each other. Yulia is my bestest friend that I met during my last year in Junior High (SMP 3). Until now, we are still best of friends. Until now, we are still like we used to be; open towards each other and have so much laughters between us. In other words, we enjoy each other company and although we are far away, we still maintain our friendship very well.

Monday, 13 Nov 2006 Phew... such a long post this time. Anyway... From the morning, I was busy looking for information about UK visa extension; starting from Deutch Bank building in Jl. Imam Bonjol to VFS at Abda Plaza Jl. Sudirman. Thank God, Yulie was there to accompany me! Thanks a lot, sist!
We had lunch at Rice Bowl, I had Hongkong Noddles with Black Pepper Beef. It was yummy! Then, for the first time, I went to Taman Anggrek! *grin & blush* Yulia took me there, because I wanted to buy some accessories for Grace, my sister.
While we were there, Lan rang. I was so so so glad!!! I missed his voice so much that I almost cried for happiness. As to what we were talking about, hehehe... that's off the record. :P
After I found the accessories, we had early dinner at Popeye's, before heading straight to airport. It seemed to be a short meeting between us, but I'm happy that I saw her. I miss my sister and bestest friend so much! *So, sorry for all my other friends in Jakarta, I didn't have the chance to meet you all. It would take several days for me to do that, whereas, I have other things to do waiting for me here at home.*

Phewwwwwwww.... It's finished. Okay friends! I think you become bored already with what I'm telling you. I hope you enjoyed reading it. Until the next one, God bless!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I'm back!

Hola!!! I just got back last night... Still super duper tired... So please patiently wait for my next post about my one-week journey!

See you soon!!! :)

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

gone for sometimes

Guys, I have to be on hiatus for awhile... Going to be away from home until 12 November 2006. I will be busy with my uncle's education fair in several towns... Pray for the success, the safety of the trip and for me.
I will take this busy time as a time for my mind to rest in peace for awhile...

For you all, God bless you always in your every-days! He is always with you.
The tiredness of mine is unbearable...
Will you give me an answer that lets me know the path that I have to take?
I am waiting, always...
in the tiredness of mine.
And yet, I still love you...
very much.

God be with you and help you to decide.

To the one and only, the person, whom I still take as my fiance.

With all my love.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

arus balik & upcoming month

Selesainya Lebaran berarti selesai sudah liburan. So... setelah seminggu ke belakang aku sekeluarga sibuk meng-handle tamu, sekarang kita bisa santai, karna semua tamu-tamu (teman-teman orang tuaku serta sanak saudara) sudah pada pulang. Cuma ya sekarang kita lagi rajin tidur untuk menebus kekurangan jam tidur yang diakibatkan seringnya pulang malam pada masa-masa Idul Fitri kemarin.

--- Sekian sekilas info ---

Hehehe... kayak baca berita koran aja ya? :P
Niwei, October is flying and November is rolling in, it's a busy month for me. From 6th November to 12th November, I will travel through Malang, Jogja, Solo, Bandung and Jakarta to help my uncle by being one of his staffs in the Universal Singapore-Malaysia Education Fair. I am looking forward to this event, because I am sure I will gain much lessons and experience from the other staffs.
After that, back to Denpasar, there will be my aunty, who lives in America, waiting to be visited while she's having a holiday here.
Then... my birthday. Huhuhu...
Then... Beijing?!
Then...

Monday, October 23, 2006

303. Happy Ramadhan!

For all my friends, who celebrate the Ramadhan, I'd like to say... Happy Ramadhan to you all! I am sorry for all the wrongs that I might have done to you all. God bless you always!

Ramadhan holiday is a busy time for me... because there are many of my parents' friends are staying for holiday in Bali. So we are busy visiting and going out with them. In addition, my mum's brothers are also here, which means that we have to make time to see them as well. Right now at my house, it feels like a children dormitory!! Three of my cousins are here and one of them is a 7 month old baby. Can you imagine how crowded and busy the house is (with 4 children and one baby). Right now, I feel so tired... so, I better end this post! *hugs*
God never promises that life will be an easy straight-way journey.
There are times when we need to turn to the right or to the left, change the gear, adjust the speed...
And times, where we find a 'traffic jam', a flat tire...
But He promises that He will always be by our sides.
And He never lies.

It's the same also in our relationship.
There might be the times where we fight each other, feel like giving up and cannot cope anymore...
But I have faith in His promises to always be close to us and His declaration that He approves our relationship and favors it.
Because He never lies.

nie, 22 Oct 2006

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

another waiting

All alone, I am now. Lan has gone back home to Beijing and he had fulfilled the promise he made me that he will come to see my parents and seek their permissions. In fact, he asked permissions not only from my parents but also from my godfather and my grandma. I am so blessed that they all accept him happily. My parents even started to miss him right when he left and my grandma was thinking about his journey all the time.
It has been a great time with him. We learnt many new things about each other, life and marriage. It's been good. Praise The Lord for that!

Now, it's my turn. November is a busy month for me. The first two weeks, I will be busy helping my uncle with a Singapore-Malaysian education fair. I will be going to Malang, Surabaya, Solo and Jakarta. Then, I will have to renew my passport, apply the Chinese tourist visa and buy the airline ticket to go to Beijing to see his parents.
I have faith in our relationship, especially after my family gave positive responds to Lan's visit. And I believe The Lord is looking and smiling at us, that He will give His blessings when our marriage comes to place. In addition, my godfather will come for my birthday celebration. (Time really goes fast... I feel as if yesterday was my 21st birthday!!! I am getting older fast!! >.<) Okay guys, it's already very late. I think I should get some sleep. God bless you all!

No matter what difficulties may come to stop us,
Lord, I trust and believe...
That Your words and Your words alone are true.
Your words will come to pass and You will never forsake us.

Thank you, Lord, for never forsaking us.

Ps. Dear... I miss you lots already. Hope to see you soon.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

while together...

It's been more than a week since I typed my last posting. Yes, I have been too lazy and too tired to update, maybe I am enjoying my time with Lan too much. Hehehe...
To let you know, I am having a great time while he is here since 4 October 2006 ago. We went to Kuta beach to watch sunset, Ubud, Kintamani (we had a nice lunch with a spectacular outdoor view there) and also Tanah Lot. I take all those times as precious memories together... we also went to the cinema; he was quite shock knowing that the cinema ticket only cost around £1.50, which is very cheap compared to England's £5.00 per person.
Other than those nice times together, there were many things went on. Lan got baptized on 09.10.2006, with a Christian name Paul. We were very glad. Congratulations, Lan! And welcome to the Kingdom of God!
In addition, we also had many talks with my parents about our relationship. I am very pleased to know that my parents are positive about us and like Lan very much. They already treat Lan as their own son. Even with my little brother and sister, they play together and having many happy times and laugh together. So... I feel very happy and relieved to know that it works out very well. However, we are having another year to get to know each other before the BIG day. This is because we want to save some money first for the wedding and for us to be more and more definite that we want to spend the rest of our lives together, this way we can have a solid foundation to enter the marriage life later. So, friends, don't expect any exact date yet from me, hehehe... when the time comes, I will surely let you all know. :)

As for future plan, we are going back to UK together very soon (either December or January). Lan just received a scholarship to do a PhD at Liverpool University. So, I am going back there to accompany him and moreover, to find a job. Praise Jesus for such a wonderful miracle!
Hence, I will be in Liverpool for another 3 years at least. In total, at the end of Lan's PhD, I'll be in UK for 7 years!! What a long time?! But I know... God is a good God! His plan is always perfect for both of us.

I am also planning to go to Beijing to see Lan's parents. Right now, there are many things to organize, so I think I am going late November or after my 22nd birthday. *argh... getting older now...*

Okay, I think this is enough for an update hehehe... I didn't take any photos on my camera, they are all in Lan's camera. So I probably will get it when he goes back to Beijing.

Hiks... another two days and we have to part... I am sad and wish that you can stay forever besides me, Lan...

Friday, October 06, 2006

Fly to the moon heaven

As you all know, Lan arrived on Wednesday from Beijing. I was so happy to see him again, my heart was pounding so fast when I picked him up in front of the arrival gate at Ngurah Rai Airport.
He's staying at my house, at my brother's room to be exact. We have so much to talk about together... He is doing well; having a great time with my little brother and sister and adjusting well with my family. Somehow, Lan manages to comunicate with Han-han and Grace. I don't know how, but they just get along so well. Fyi, Lan can't speak Indonesian.
He and my parents get along well, too. We haven't talked seriously yet, because at the moment, there is a guest from London staying at my house. So we are extremely busy and I am extremely tired (while I'm typing this posting).
Tomorrow, we plan to go on a tour (with my dad as the driver, hehehe) around Bali to show the guest and Lan the main attractions (or famous places) of Bali. Hopefully, they will enjoy the tour and have a great day.

I think that's all for now. I am too tired to type a long post. So... I hope all of you have a great weekend! God bless you!
I admit that I am a selfish person when it comes to you...
I asked TIME to run fast, when I was waiting for you to come.
But I want TIME to freeze, once you are near me.

TIME... how great it is to be able to control you.
But only God has the power to do so.
We just have to flow in His time.

nie, 06 Oct 2006

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

One more night

My heart is beating so fast...
One more night! Several more hours!
I will see him again, very very soon...
After exactly one whole month, we have not seen each other,
Finally, I am meeting him again tomorrow night.

My heart is full with joy and happiness.
I can't stop thanking God.
I still can't believe that he is really coming (but I have too!)

I am so so so happy! :D

Monday, October 02, 2006

Lagi sumpek...

Di tengah-tengah dag-dig-dug menanti datangnya Lan, aku lagi ngerasa sumpek banget di rumah. There is someone, who came and being so nosy... Staying for two weeks and hasn't showed any sign that she's going to leave my house.
If I don't consider her as somebody, whom I have to respect, I would gladly and openly ask her to leave this house immediately.
Sorry for being so harsh and rude, but her attitude and words are undeniably sharp and painful to the listener. Any negative attitude you can think of, she has them...
God, please give me the patience to bear the presence of this person.

I have tried to be considerate, but sorry, you are somebody, who doesn't even deserve that compensation. God, forgive me for being so rude.

Friday, September 29, 2006

less than a week

September is at its end... Unnoticely, I have been at home for almost a month now. And it has been a month as well I have not seen Lan. Yes, we still chat and text each other, but we both agree that the relationship needs the ability to see each other easily to be able to grow. However, through the experience of being apart from each other, we learn that our feelings are true towards each other and to test our seriousness.

Therefore, although being far away from him makes me feel sad sometimes, most of the times I thank God because I learn many precious lessons; about my feelings, his feelings, his seriousness and many others. Every step of our life is really a meaningful lesson.

Anyway, 6 days to go and I grow really nervous... Hoping and praying that all will go well when Lan comes to meet my parents. Please pray for us, friends.

That's all for now, I think. God bless you all!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

& still counting...

10 days feels like a century to me right now... Waiting is never a good activity ever for me, but, I have to be patient. Ugh... I really can't wait until Lan comes. I miss him so so so much!!
I miss the time we spent together; all our laughters, conversations and annoyances towards each other hehehe... He is nervous and I am, too. Yes... this is the first time and will be the only time I introduce a man, whom I love so much, as the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, to my parents. I pray that everything will go well when he comes.
I take my parents' excitement and expectance as a positive sign that they are looking forward to meet Lan and to get to know him. I wish time would go fast forward to Wednesday, 04 October 2006, the day and the time I see him, and freeze so that I can spend my days with him forever. *huhuhu... am I drunk with love?! :p*

Apart from my impatience, I am enjoying my time at home. What do I do at home? Not much really... help my mother, being a babysitter to my little sister, Grace, and being a teacher to both Grace and Han-Han (my little brother). Most of the time we eat at home, which is good because I can enjoy my Mum's cooking more often. :)

I love being at home. But it'd be better if I can spend it together with Lan. I miss him.

'Nyway... God bless you all!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

295. & the time is near

Yesterday, I finally chatted with Lan again after being not able to contact him in the days, where he was on the flight home and taking a rest afterwards.
Both of us miss each other so much that we can't wait for the day we will meet each other again. He said he is coming soon; at the end of this month or early next month. I am excited and I know, my parents are also expecting his visit. They keep asking about the date he is coming and about his news. I take it as a good sign. So far... my parents are positive when we talk about Lan.

Another thing that makes me double happy is that when he is coming to Bali, he will be baptized. Praise the Lord for that! I am really proud of him, even when he was back in Beijing, he went to church by himself to church! Something that I did not expect. Oh, I am so joyful! God bless him! And I feel blessed.
My brother, Erwin, arrived safely in Brighton on Sunday. Next Monday, the second year of his Architecture study will begin. I am proud of him and I know he is able. God bless him and be with him always. Amen.
Okay, that's all for now. I am going to sleep. I am better, but still feel very weak at times. Till the next post!

God bless you all!

Update: Lan is coming on 4th October 2006!!! Yipee!! I can't wait to see him again!!! I miss him soooo much :p

Sunday, September 17, 2006

the latest news

Quiet it has become, ever since Erwin, my 19-year-old brother flew back to England yesterday. Not necessarily very quiet, but it feels different when the family is not whole. I was sad to see him go, but I know God has prepared many marvelous miracles for him there. I am sure the Lord will protect, bless, guide and teach him there. I know we (my parents and I) have to learn to let him go, so that he grows mature and closer to the Lord.

Onto another topic. Right now, I am not in a healthy condition. I got sore throat, dizzy head and burning nose. It is a suffering... but, at least, I have my mum here to take care of me, hehehehe...
Okay, that's all for now. My sister, Grace, is waiting for me to go to sleep.

Have a blessed week ahead!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

United for 10 days

My family rarely has much time to be united together, ever since Erwin and I started going overseas for education. And this year is the extreme one, I think. For the whole year, we are only united for 10 days!! Yup... I arrived on 06 September 2006 and Erwin is flying back to Brighton to start his second year of university on 16 September 2006.
Can you imagine that? I never know when is the next time I will see him, as we have separate ways *could it be on my wedding day?! Hihihihi...* So for the moment (and especially for this holiday), I'd like to spend as much time as possible with my family... Right now, there are some problems arising, so I want to give support to my parents and to help as much as I could.

In the middle of that, I am also busy looking and applying for jobs; mostly are jobs in United Kingdom and Singapore. So, please... please... pray for me so that The Lord will open the door that He wants me to enter and that I will become wise in choosing which job to apply.
However, Lan is not forgotten. *Of course!* I miss him so muchhhhhhhhh!! Sometimes we talk and chat through Y!M, and still we have fun. We enjoy talking and spending time, although it is only just a 'conversation'. We still know how to annoy each other, hahahaha...
He is flying home to Beijing tomorrow, so I am sure he is very excited and happy to be able to see his parents again after a year. But he said that he will be coming soon to Denpasar, because he cannot wait to see me, hihihi... *blush*

Another topic! On Friday, 15 September 2006, is Han-Han's 10th birthday! There won't be huge celebration, just giving thanks and a blackforest cake. Yum! Hihihi...

I think that's all for now. I am sooooo sleepy...
See you in the next post! God bless!

Sunday, September 10, 2006

blessed.

Today, I am so excited to go to church... I miss the time going to church together with my family and I miss the spiritual feelings that I can never feel the same elsewhere. I cried.
My million thanks were not enough to express how much I am grateful for all that Jesus done in my life; taking me overseas to learn many things and every time bringing me back safely home. I am always touched by His grace and mercy; the never-ending love He shows me through my family, friends, loved ones and especially through Lan.
Thank you, Lord, for the protection and the promises You have given unto my family. For I believe, although the earth may pass away and the heaven tumbles down, Your words will be fulfilled. You will do as You promise. I believe and I trust in You. Life is hard for our family, but I believe You are taking us to a higher level; closer to you and more intimate... to become your beloved family. Thank you, Father!
The greatest priviledge on earth and in heaven is to be loved by You, my Lord Jesus Christ.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Safely home...

Hello everyone!! I am at home, right now!!!! Feeling jetlag and tired still...
The internet is so slow... that it becomes a pain to me to go online. Anyway, thanks for wishing me a safe trip. I appreciate it very much!
Huhuhu... I miss Lan so much now...

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Last post before I go home...

I am feeling nervous right now... Soon I will be on my long journey to go home. For several days, my emotions were up and down... I really cannot distinguish between sadness and happiness; sometimes I suddenly cried just because I don't want to be far from Lan... This is the hardest time for me to leave United Kingdom. It used to be so excited, it used to be so happy for me to know that in several days I will be with my family.
But now, it's different... I have someone I love dearly here and it breaks my heart to leave him...
I noticed the sadness in your heavy voice...
The hesitation you have in making choice...

I know it must be hard for you these several days...
Letting me go and saying goodbye everytime the day ends.
I feel it, too...
But I'd rather pretend to not know;
Rather try to make you smile and laugh;
Rather think that this is not the end and you will surely come;

I'd rather not say 'goodbye'...
For I miss you already before I actually go.
And each step closer to home breaks my heart...
Coz it means one step further away from you.

So let me believe and dream foolishly...
That you are coming tomorrow,
And imagine that you are always near me, beside me.

Take courage and smile, my love.
I am taking half of your heart with me...
And I am leaving half of mine for you.

nie, 02 September 2006

See you soon, friends... Pray that I will be safe in my journey. Denpasar, here I come... with a mixture of happiness and sadness... At home, I might not be able to blogwalk very frequently, but I'll try my best. :)

Ps. Good luck for your interview today, dear. I pray for you and hope you have a good time in Birmingham. I am so tempted to ring you, but I will fulfil my promise to the favor you asked me on Sunday, the last day I met you before I leave...
Even the roses you gave, I don't have a heart to throw them away yet... "Just a little longer, I want to see it to remind myself of you...," I thought. How is Birmingham? Do you like it? Take care, dear. I miss you so much.
'Til I see you again.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Last post - 1

Lemparan sasando dari big sist...

Lama ga kena timpuk, eh kali ini ketimpuk juga sama big sist Tuteh. Ya wis... here we go:

Fave:
  • Color: pastel colors especially pastel blue.
  • Food: My mum's cooking 'Ayam bumbu rujak', but any food will be fine, except the hot spicy one.
  • Song: Um... there are lots of songs I like :D
  • Movie: Ever after
  • Sport: Swimming. it's the only one I enjoy :p
  • Day of the week: Any day is fine, for God made them all great!
  • Ice cream: Haagen Dazs ice cream; chocolate chips, rum and raisin and strawberry cheesecake.

Currents:
  • Mood: mixture of happy and sad; happy of our engagement, sad of the little time left before I fly home.
  • Taste: Ummm... nothing, I just drank plain water haha...
  • Clothes: White t-shirt and green trousers.
  • Desktop: 'peace, love and understanding' wallpaper.
  • Toe nail color: natural
  • Time: 5.57 PM
  • Annoyance: hunger *almost dinner time*
  • Thoughts: 'cook first? Or shower first?'

First
  • Best friend: Yulia (From Junior High, until now)
  • Crush: Michael Phillip, the boy who had the locker above me in Year 12, when I was in Aussie. *a secret admirer*
  • Movie: Ghost, nonton di bioskop bareng ortu pas masih kecil. huhuhu...
  • Lie: Ummmm... ga inget.
  • Music: pok ami-ami?! :p

Last
  • Cigarette: never had the first nor had the last.
  • Drink: water
  • Car ride: taxi (from the Liverpool Royal Hospital to Lan's place when I broke my toe)
  • Crush: Lan *blush*
  • Phone call: Lan, just one minute ago :p
  • CD played: umm... CDnya linux kayaknya heuheuheu...

Have you ever...
  • dated one of your best friends: Ummm... yep, in junior high, I considered that boy as a bro, in fact, but he liked me. We were together for 3 months and that was it, I could not handle it.
  • broken the law: nope.
  • been arrested: nope and hopefully never in the future.
  • skinny dipped: nope.
  • kissed someone you don't know: nope.

Next 5 people: dd Rwitz, Flona, Ester, Ele, Sisca.


Firstly, I would like to thank you all my friends, for congratulating me on my engagement and for every great wishes and prayers. God bless you!
Just over an hour ago I said my goodbye to Lan...
It was the last time I saw him for this month. He promised I will see him next month, and I promised I will be waiting. We both saw sadness in each other's eyes, but we decided to make it a happy 'goodbye'... we smiled and said what we wanted to say from our hearts.

I will miss you a lot, Lan...; your kisses, hugs and time we spent together...
I will wait as I promised.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I am now engaged!

Tuesday, 29th August 2006 has became a special day for both Lan and I. Why? Well... let me tell you the story.
Around five in the afternoon, Lan rang me telling me not to cook, because he will treat me for dinner. So I just waited with no thought of what will happen afterward.
In the middle of me watching Marrying a Mafia, my phone rang again. It was Lan, saying that he is outside the entrance door of the hall I live. It was about six o'clock. I quickly paused the movie, grabbed my keys and ran to open the door for him.

When I met him at the door, he was formally clothed and holding a bouquet of roses (and a plastic bag). I was surprised... for him to buy me a bouquet of roses in United Kingdom was the first time, I don't ask for it, because I know flowers are quite expensive here. Suspicion came to me for awhile along with the question 'what is he up to this time?!'. But I quickly brushed it off thinking that maybe he was just being nice since we only have several days left to spend with each other before I go home, never knowing that a big and sweet surprise awaited for me.

As soon as we got into my room, he sat me down on my chair and kneeled in front of me. 'Eh?! What is this?!'
Looking seriously, I could not help but sat there and listened to what he had to say. Along with his 'introductory' sentences, he took out a blue little box from his pocket. THE ring... I have seen the ring because he took me when we bought it, where I was SO dumb not realising that he was actually buying it for me.

Holding my right hand, he proposed to me, asking me to marry him...
After the big question, he did not straight away demand my answer. Instead, he told me a very beautiful poem that he made by himself (later on I know that he made so many drafts while writing the poem and tried so hard memorising it by heart and rehearsed so many times for this big surprise).
Along with the poem, came his declaration that he receives Jesus in His heart and becomes the child of God.

I was so happy... that I was left speechless. I really did not know what to say and what to answer. But I made my decision, as my heart told me so and as what I have been saying in my prayers. I answered him with a 'yes'.
Tears of happiness flowed from my eyes... really I did not expect he will give such a sweet surprise and such a memorable moment in my life.
I proudly say this to you all, my dear friends, I am engaged to the man that I believe God has sent to my life. One that He chose for me.
I thank God every time I remember that day; for letting me taste the joy of sharing His salvation to Lan and for the love that He planted and has grown in our hearts.

After the big moment, he really treated me for a nice dinner. It was a sweet celebration indeed... Roasted chicken, a bottle of Australian red wine and a chocolate cake; all he prepared for us.

The effort he put to make this surprise happened was not little... For the roses, he went around town looking for it. He walked quite far to get the chicken, cake and the wine. On top of that, he had to deal with the feeling of nervous, not knowing what my answer would be. I have to say... he is amazing!
The following is the poem that he made for me.
Life without you is like food without taste.
Life without you is like poem without words.
Life without you is like a symphony without sound.
Life without you is like the world without colors.

My love for you will not change until the birds will not fly anymore.
My love for you will not change until the stars will not blink anymore.
My love for you will not change until the sun will not shine anymore.
My love for you will not change until the snow become black.
My love for you will not change until all the ocean become desert.
My love for you will not change until all the mountains become sand.
My love for you will not change until the whole world become ashes.

Lan.

Ps. Thank you, Lan, for such a perfect surprise. I love you.

Ah... I have a fiancé, now. And I am loving him... and ever so sure that I made the right decision. Thank you, friends, for all your support, when I struggled and mentioned about the difficulties we faced in this relationship. Now, we would like to share our happiness with you all, through this post.
This is like a miracle... yes, God has His own time that no one knows when it is coming. However, I proved it so many times, He has the best plan for us.

God bless you!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Trying to relax

Finally, writing up dissertation is finished. I am waiting for my supervisor's feedback at the moment, so that I can polish it up for the final touch. Time feels so slow and yet so fast...
On one hand, I want it to slow down and give me more time to spend with Lan. On the other... I want to see my family. I can't help but cry if my thoughts come across this. So many 'what if' rise up between us in our conversations that often I have to try hard to hold my tears from rolling down. At least, by doing that, by acting strong, he will be encouraged and his worry will not be added.

The thoughts about the future can be very overwhelming and tiring... So many possibilities and yet so many uncertainties. All I can do and all I WANT to do is to lay my future and his down in Jesus' hands. I know, for sure, He has the best plans for both of us... and whatever happens; whatever comes in front of us, at the end of the day, I will confidently say, "It was worth going through it."

Right now, I don't have much time to spend with Lan, 9 days until 5th September 2006. And he has much more important thing to do; writing up his dissertation. It was hard, telling him to go home, telling him that he should set his first priority to that, when my heart tells different thing; wanting him to stay. But, I will not regret doing that... because I feel that is the right thing to do.
I, now, realize love can be very selfish and self-centered and it can also be very selfless that the person will sacrifice everything else for love's sake. I... want to learn to be in the middle of it; let him do whatever is more important for him and open my arms to hug him when he needs me. It is so difficult to do that... but that's how it should be.

Umm... why do I become so mellow when I am writing this post? I was planning to write something cheerful to tell you guys that I am back now. I'll be going around saying 'hi' to you in your blogs. So, wait for me!
These several days,
I want to look strong, so that when you see me, you feel that you are strenghtened.
I want to smile, so that, for the days we are apart, you will only remember the happy me.
And...
I don't want to say 'goodbye', because I want you to know...
I will be waiting, like you tell me to,
I am having the faith that it will be a happy-ending for us.

nie, 27 August 2006.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

grateful

Just feel like posting today...
In the midst of being busy, The Lord has been continually showing His love, mercy and blessings to me. A specific thing that He has opened my eyes to, has made me forever grateful. It adds to the numerous of proofs that He loves me so much, always gives the best for me and has the best plan for my life.
I am so so glad... I cannot even express how glad I am, but, believe me, I am!

Now, I can really say, "I have met the right man," and I admitted my mistake in the past and realized the previous ones (that I thought was right for me) was the wrong ones. The Lord brought them into my life just for temporarily; to teach me lessons. So, I will not regret the fact that they were part of my life, once. Rather than regret, I am thankful.

This posting is vague, isn't it? Hehehe... Never mind.

Have a blessed weekend, everyone!
Without you

From the moment I open my eyes to start the day, you are there...
In everything I do, you are in my mind.
Every where I go, I seem to see you.
Even in my dream, I can see you smiling at me...

Tell me what is this feeling!
Tell me what to do!

A day without you feels so grey.
A day without your voice sounds so quiet.
It feels as if the day is not complete...
Without you.

Nie @ Liverpool, 14.08.2006 - 19.41

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Till I post again...

I think it's better to let you guys know, rather than just gone missing with no news what so ever... I will be hiatus for an indefinite time (at the most until I finish my dissertation and fly home).

Right now, I have so many things to do and think about. So, I guess, it is better if I focus on the more important things, first.

Until then, God bless you all!

Adios!
Pretty boy - M2M

I lie awake at night
See things in black and white
I’ve only got you inside my mind
You know you have made me blind

I lie awake and pray
That you will look my way
I have all this longing in my heart
I knew it right from the start

Chorus
Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you


I used to write your name
And put it in a frame
And sometime I think I hear you call
Right from my bedroom wall

You stay a little while
And touch me with your smile
And what can I say to make you mine
To reach out for you in time

Chorus

Bridge
Oh pretty boy
Say you love me too

Friday, August 04, 2006

Away to Manchester

Sorry for not updating for awhile... Been trying to speed up on my dissertation. Since my supervisor will be back next week, I've tried to at least finish up the programming part. The good news is that it only needs polishing up and some testing to do. And soon, I will be writing up my dissertation.

For the weekend, I will be away to Manchester. Spending some time at my friend's house. She is having an Indonesian gathering lunch at her place. So, I am very looking forward on eating some home food. Hehehe...

I will visit you all when I get back. Till then, I hope you have a great weekend! God bless!

Saturday, July 29, 2006

New Brighton

Beach! Hehehe... We had such a great time when we went to the beach at New Brighton yesterday! In the morning, we met in front of my accommodation at 10.05. I was in a rush because I had to make 8 sandwiches for our lunch. *sama-sama lagi bokek, makanya bikin makan siang sendiri biar hemat * Then, we went to Liverpool Central Station to catch the train.

New Brighton is not very far from Liverpool. It is less than an hour journey by train. The town itself does not have much to see, only the beach! Yesterday was a good day (although at the end I felt it was very HOT!), we took our time walking along the beach, seeing the kids swam and playing with the water. Unfortunately, the tide rose very quick yesterday. It was only 1.30 pm and almost all the sand area is covered by the water, but anyway, we had a great time. We actually got time to sit on the beach and eat our lunch. It was like a picnic. Hehehe...

Then, we walked around until we got lost and had to ask for direction to get to the train station. So, basically, it was a day of going to the beach and exercising, because we walked a lot. Even wearing flip-flop did not make much difference, I was still very tired.

One thing, though, when I saw Lan in the morning and the clothes he wore, I was commenting, "you look as if it is winter now." Well, he reasoned that he does not want to get sun-burn. *Oh well, fair enough! But, then, it was so hot that we both were very happy when we felt the very tiny breeze.*

Overal, I was very happy spending the whole day with him. It was such a sweet time together.

Have a blessed weekend, friends! God bless you all!

Ps. more photos can be seen from: New Brighton

Thursday, July 27, 2006

A month to go

Excitement is growing within me, looking at the calendar, realizing that next week we are already in the month of August. Yes... a month to go before I fly home to Denpasar. It has been one year since the last time I saw my family. However, excitement is not the only feeling that is growing. I also feel sad and worried... How am I suppose to part from Lan?
I, now, know the difference between having an LDR and a day-to-day relationship. The latter one feels more real; you can learn about each other better, you can know each other deeper and it makes your day more colourful! I, now, feel so attached to him that I don't know how I am going to cope going home and being far from him. We talk about this often; about how both of us going to handle all the time being away from each other. At the end of the day, I can only say: "If we are really true to each other and honest about our love, distance should not break us apart." He added, "In fact, nothing shoud break us apart." And I have faith that he will surely come to Denpasar to meet my parents.
The last 5 months, I learnt a lot about relationship; about myself, my feelings, love and about him (the other end of the relationship). I still can recall myself going back to Liverpool in September 2005 with a sad and heavy heart for a truth that I knew, not expecting to find colourful love here in Liverpool. But now, I will go home with a smile because I have loved someone dearly and I shall hold it in my heart boldly.

Well... this posting is just to share what I am feeling and thinking lately. I know it's been sometimes since I poured out my thought.
Onto a different topic, I am going to the beach tomorrow with Lan!! Yippee!! I am so excited to spend time with him! That's all for now! Until the next posting!
Let us take our steps to the future with faith, dear...
Don't worry about what it may bring and where it may take us to.
As long as we try our best, that's more than enough.

If God permits, then, we will give thanks with the most grateful heart for the happiness He bless us with.
If not, at least, we will not regret to not try our best...
For we both know, we are true towards each other.

For now...
Let's cherish our love and time together!
Holding hands and smiling at each other as if it will last forever.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Kids... these days!

While watching television at Lan's place after dinner, we got our eyes on a program called Driving Mum and Dad MAD. In it, they showed several English parents, who have problematic children. The problem is simply the children are too WILD and uncontrolable. God... it left me shocked; there are kids, who tell their parents to shut up and swear at them, there are kids who spit in the house and many other unbelievable attitudes. They are just too immoral for a kid, I think, especially towards the parents.
To be honest, these behaviours might not entirely be the kids' fault. From what I saw in the program, the parents really play a huge role on these acts. How can you expect your children not to swear when you are swearing while talking with them or in front of them all the time? And some of the kids do those nasty things, simply because they want attention from the parents... but the parents are always TOO busy doing their own things and never think about spending good times with their children. Well, in that case, what is the point of having children then?

Well... it's a lesson to learn. At least for me, it is. One day, I shall be a mother anyway *or I expect to be*, so it is never too early to learn about mothering, right?

Onto another topic, life is about implementing the software that I have to make for my dissertation now. Oh God... but I cannot stand the HEAT!! It is so HOT here for the last two weeks that I feel as if I am living in an oven. (It actually makes me miss winter now!)
"Time flies!"
I say those words many times.
And now it really flies...
Six weeks to go before my resting period.
Six weeks before seeing all the familiar faces of my family again.
It is also six weeks before my heart breaks; parting from my precious love for who knows how many countless days.
Six weeks to prepare myself to let go my own hands from his.

"The time will surely come."
I convince myself with those words.
Praying each day that the separation will not be eternal,
That one day, soon - after two fullmoons, you will come with a smile to me.
I shall whisper my prayer, everyday, that our sweet memories will continue to be made all the rest of our lives.

With much love,
To: you, my dearest Lan.

Sherly, 25 July 2006

Monday, July 24, 2006

version 1.3: "Keys"

New layout! Hehehe... I had been very lazy posting on my blog these days; most of the times I spend with Lan or doing my dissertation bit by bit. I only have a month left before I go home, so I want to spend as much time as I can with him.
This layout, ummm..., what can I say? Lan actually bought the set of 'key-shaped' pendants shown in the corner up there *pointing to the top of the layout*. The one with the black stones is his, and the other one is mine. So we are a pair *grin*. The colours are mostly his favourite colours; red and black. I added white and pink, so that it would not be so dark and making it at least girly for my blog. However, I find the red is a bit too much, should I make it darker? (the font colour, I mean) Have your say, friends. :)

Sorry for my laziness of not updating nor blogwalking, but will do soon.
Ps. come to think of it, I might not move to blogsome.com, I am just too lazy. Hihihi...

Have a good week, peeps!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

My bf is an indomie addict

Lan & IYup! Lan doyan indomie! Hehehe... Semuanya berawal dari hari Senin minggu lalu, di mana pas dia nganterin aku pulang ke rumah, perutnya tiba-tiba ngerasa laper. So, it started like this:
Lan (L): Do you have anything quick and easy to eat?
Me (M): Umm... I have instant noodles.
L: I'll have them then.
M: But I have to warn you it is not the instant noodles that you usually have. It's an Indonesian instant noodles, which in my point of view is much tastier. Don't blame me if you get addicted to it.
(Hihihi... he gets addicted to almost every food I introduce to him, such as, Thai Chili Sauce Walker Crisp and Haagen Dazs ice cream)

Jadilah pulang rumah, aku langsung masak Indomie rasa 'ayam bawang' buat dia, aku masukin juga chili powdernya, krn aku tahu si Lan doyan pedas.
M: *Sambil bawa mangkok* Here you go! Enjoy!
Aku berdiri di pinggirnya selagi dia nyruput mie.
L: Hmmmm!! This is good! *Hehehe... I told you, so!*

To cut the story short, ever since then, he's been addicted to indomie. He even dragged me to China Town to buy some indomie. Lan... Lan... you are cute!

Another topic! Itu foto di atas *nunjuk-nunjuk*, diambil dengan low-bat camera punya Lan. Kita iseng jalan-jalan hari Jumat, eh malah akhirnya belanja-belanji oleh-oleh buat keluarganya si Lan. Aku malah dijadiin tukang pilih alias advisor. Gak kerasa sudah jam 5.30 pm, toko-toko pada tutup. Yo wis... kita jalan ke pelabuhan and duduk-duduk di sana, trus iseng foto-foto.

I have to comment, your hand, Lan, is in the perfect place! Hahaha... We can't actually see the woman's face there :P

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Yippee!!

My laptop is up and running again! Yippee!! From 40 Gb to 60 Gb, I can feel it is much faster (but I am much more bankrupt! *sob*)
Anyway, just a quick post to tell you guys this good news. It's almost 2 AM in the morning now and I am so sleepy, but just finished installing programs that I need. (except Photoshop! Arghh... Have to ask Lan for Photoshop now.)

I will blogwalk as soon as possible. Tomorrow I am still busy with my project because I have a meeting with my supervisor on Wednesday. So... see you soon guys!

Special huge thanks to Lan! Thanks, love, without you, I don't know what I'd do. You've been such a blessing from God to my life.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

IT-holic

Without Internet, I still can live as long as I have my laptop.
Without my laptop, life is so deadly boring!

This week had been so tiring!
Purchased a HDD, but it got the wrong interface. Hence, I have to refund it and buy the right one. Guess what? The right one costs more expensive that the wrong one. Oh God, I am bankrupt!
Anyway, guys..., gotta go! My friend is going to meet up with me soon! I am in the library checking my e-mails and blogwalking.

Really... can't live without my beloved but annoying laptop!

Have a blessed weekend!! God bless!

Ps. I hope my laptop will be 'healthy' by next week. Ciao!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

HOT pot for HOT summer

Last week, Lan and I had hot pot for dinner in my flat kitchen. It is sort of a traditional chinese way of eating together with friends or family, while having plenty of time to have conversation. It was nice and very relaxing. I had a nice time talking to him about a lot of things. He did took some photos of the event, but I can't upload them now because my HDD has completely crashed and I can't use the laptop at all. So maybe later when the laptop is fixed, I will upload the photos.
Yep... my HDD has finally RIP. I have bought a new one, which cost me 80 pounds (because I have to buy the 1.8" HDD instead of 2.5" one). But really... my laptop is giving me so much trouble. When trying to open up the case to change the HDD, there is this one screw that screwed both of us up. No matter how hard we try to unscrew it, it just would not move a single bit. So finally, this morning, we went to a machinery shop that has all those handy but expensive tools. And... Yay! The store manager helped us to unscrew it and thank God I don't have to buy those expensive tool. (It took us the whole day trying to unscrew the bloody *excuse my language* screw and failed and left with sore fingers, but it took the man 5 minutes to do it!)
So, hopefully, my laptop will be alive real soon.

You might ask... Then how can I post this? Hehehe... Right now I am using Lan's laptop to check my e-mail, blogwalk and surf the Internet, while he is enjoying his treat from his friend (watching Pirates of Carribean 2... huhuhu... I want to go, too! But, anyway...)

Oh yeah... on this same date, last year, I graduated. Time flies, doesn't it? One year and here I am... still in Liverpool, yet with a very different condition and stress level, too!
Anyways, that's all for now! Take care and God bless!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Think and Mix

First of all, I'd like to thank you all that had given me encouragements in the previous post. It is like you guys build up my confidence and hope to carry on. Thank you! *hugs*
Right now, I am looking around for Hard Disk Drives' prices... Since the state of my laptop is getting worse each time I turn it on, I am starting to think that it will not be able to survive until September. And with Lan offering help to install it (if I decide to buy it here in England), I am almost convinced to buy it here and fix it as soon as possible. Having a slow laptop is killing driving me mad!! I just can't stand it! So hopefully soon, this matter should be solved.
Also, right now, I am thinking of moving my blog from blogger to blogsome. What do you guys think? Should I do that? My blog address will still be the same, it's just different blog operator. If so, does anyone know how to transfer my old posts from blogger to blogsome (if it's possible)?

Okay, I think that's all for now. Have a blessed weekend, everyone! God bless you!

Ps. I feel sorry for double blow today on the football fans (including Lan). So unexpected it is... but it's just a game. Still... I found it funny that Lan sounded like a broken-hearted man, just because of this. (and I was jealous to soccer >.< man... oh man...)

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

international relationship, impossible?!

After a conversation with Lan yesterday, I cannot stop myself from thinking about the 'future' of our relationship. With the uncertainty of our own future; where we would be, what we would do, will we get a job after the graduation, it seems that the deadline of our relationship will be on the 5th September 2006, that is the day I fly home. No. Not that we don't have the faith for us and not that we don't want to do our best to make it happen. It's just that too many questions and possibilities ahead.
This story of mine sounds so sad to myself. Maybe it is just too much; he is from Beijing, I am from Indonesia and we met in England. It is a complexity to us.
He has a job waiting at home, I have a family responsibility to take and don't know where I end up after the graduation. It is like... we try to talk through it but all we get is an empty answer, simply null.

Despite all, I still believe there is always a chance and a possibility for us to make it through. We both know it will not be easy, but as long as we support each other, I think we will be fine. After all, life is a journey (of happiness), sometimes you have to feel the pain and sadness to be able to appreciate the happiness and peace.
I feel that part of me wants to go home but another part wants to stay and not parted from him. Because... I will never know when I will see him again, since his plan of coming to Bali on my birthday is still uncertain. And even if I see him again, will it be the same situation or will it be awkward?
Too many reasons and other people to consider about... And of course, the distance. But, too many sweet memories for this to let go easily.

Whether we make it or not, don't forget the promise we made on 27th June 2006.
Let us meet on 14th Febuary 2030, in front of Sydney Jones Library, where it all begun. I hope we can, at least, make this promise comes true.

As for our relationship, can we make it?

Sunday, June 25, 2006

still swolen

I'm back after a week! Thanks very much for the concerns I've received from all of you, friends. I am so much better than the last time I wrote. Yup! Sekarang sudah bisa jalan dengan 'rada' normal, tapi jempol masih bengkak, biru ungu plus kuku masih ga jelas keadaannya. Kalo kelamaan berdiri atau ga sengaja bertumpu pada jempol, rasa nyeri masih terasa.
Thanks to Lan, I can recover quite quickly. I am really touched and flattered by all his attention, patience and effort in taking care of me. For the whole week, I felt as if I was in my own private hospital with my very own doctor, chef, friend and helper. He cooked for me and provided me with meals three times a day, washed the dishes, got me whatever I needed, cheered me up and spoiled me with fancy and nice food. He is TOO good to be true! (That's what I always say to him, hehehe...)

Seminggu skripsi terbengkalai, tapi presentasi tetep harus jalan terus. Jadinya Jumat kemarin, selambat siput berjalan, aku ditemeni Lan ke kampus untuk presentasi. Untungnya para assessornya baik-baik, jadi aku boleh duduk selama presentasi, kalo ga gitu, ga kuat deh nahan pressurenya. Puji Tuhan presentasi berjalan mulus dan lancar. Malah sempet dapet advice yang bagus banget untuk progress project ini. Thank God!
Sempet juga jalan ke klinik di area kampus untuk check up karena takut ada infeksi. Jalan yang biasanya paling lama 15 menit sudah sampe, makan waktu 1 jam bolak balik. Gile dah... aku dalem ati sebenernya rasa sudah ga sabar pengen jalan cepet. Tapi si Lan kesenengan. Dia bilang: "Now you are even walking slower than my speed" Hehehe... emang biasanya aku kalo jalan cepet, sampe-sampe dia ngos-ngosan.
Jadinya seminggu ini aku kayak babi bayi, kerjanya makan tidur doank. Apalagi setelah ke klinik itu dibilang sama dokternya harus banyak berbaring; don't put too much pressure on the toe, otherwise it will bleed again and be painful. Plus obatnya bikin ngantuk tuk tuk... Abis minum obat, ga lama langsung ngantuk (lha wong dosisnya tinggi banget.)

Segitu dulu deh kabar dariku. Sekarang mo nyicil blogwalking. Sorry banget kalo mulai sekarang jam beredar bakal berkurang. Aku abis jatuh ketimpa tangga pula. *sob* Hard disk laptopku ada bad clusternya, jadi sekarang lambatnya ampun ampun!! So far not much I can do except to reduce the time using it, because I want it to survive for the next two months so that I can use it for my dissertation.
Jadi, bagi yang dateng ke sini minta dibikinin layout, sorry banget harus kutolak. Photoshop itu berat banget, jadi takutnya malah bikin keadaan laptop makin parah.
I thank the Lord for putting you into my life.
Though I never say it openly, I am amazed and grateful...
for who you are,
for your warmth, cares and loving kindness,
for always being on my side and protecting me; wiping my tears and cheering me up.
You... always succeed to put smiles on my face and fill my days with laughters.

I learn to understand the purity of your love...
through the sparkle of your eyes,
through the smiles on your face,
through the kisses of your lips.
I learn you are being true.

When you say: "Don't worry! Leave the worry to me."
You embrace me with warmth.

I learn, too, to cherish you...
to miss you,
to open my heart and give you space inside it.

I learn to say, with all my heart, "Lan, wo ai ni."

- nie, 25 June 2006.
especially for Zhang Lan.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

great toe accident

Alo semua... sorry banget ga sempet blogwalking sama sekali. Kemarin aku dapet kecelakaan *yang aku bikin sendiri*
One of the things that I hate so much in England is their doors. Semuanya berat-berat dan butuh tenaga ekstra untuk narik/dorong pintu. Nah... ceritanya, kemarin jam 9 malem, si Lan dateng ke tempatku untuk minta tolong nge-print and penjelasan tentang paper yang aku bikin dulu. Waktu buka pintu masuk ke flatku, secara ga sengaja, pintu itu kena jempol kaki kananku. Aku liat kukuku posisinya njeplak dan darah mulai keliatan ngambang di bagian dalamnya.
Duh... cekot-cekot rasanya. Tapi aku tetep mikir aku ga papa dan maksain untuk naik tangga ke lantai 2 (tempat kamarku berada). Sampe di atas, darah dah netes-netes... si Lan dah panik and coba telpon 999. Pas nyambung, ditanyain ini itu, si lady bilang keadaanku ga terlalu darurat untuk ambulans jemput aku. Tapi dia bilang, dia akan suruh seorang nurse untuk telpon balik untuk ngecek apa perlu ambulans ato ngga.
Anyway... tunggu punya tunggu, si Lan dah mendesak aku untuk ke hospital secepatnya, dia khawatir ada tulang yang patah atau retak. Tapi ga lama si nurse telpon. Dan setelah sekian banyak pertanyaan, dia bilang, aku ngga perlu ke rumah sakit, ke klinik saja cukup. Yo wis akhirnya ke klinik naik taksi (dengan modal cuma punya 10 pounds doank di tangan). Sampe depan klinik sudah jam 9.50, kita sampe gedor-gedor, karena kliniknya tutup jam 10 malem. Untungnya mereka bukain pintu. Dan pas si nurse B cek, dia bilang ada kemungkinan tulangnya retak/patah. Jadi dia kasih surat pengantar untuk kita ke rumah sakit.
Yo wis... naik taksi lagi ke rumah sakit (pada akhirnya duit 10 pounds itu abis buat bayar taksi doank!!!). Sampe rumah sakit, eh... ditanyain lagi ini itu dan sebagainya... gile dah... Aku sudah kesakitan minta ampun, ga bisa jalan pula. Malem itu jadi malam panjang beneran. Akhirnya di x-ray, dokter bilang, tulangnya ga papa. *puji Tuhan* Cuma... kuku jempolku itu copot dan ada kemungkinan kuku itu ga tumbuh lagi. *hiks* Jadi bisa-bisa jempol kaki kananku tidak punya kuku *sob sob sob*
So... please please pray for my recovery and hopefully my nail will grow back. Hiks... minggu ini minggu yang sibuk sebenarnya. Aku terpaksa harus men-cancel meetingku dengan supervisor besok. Tapi hari Jumat aku harus melakukan presentasi, semoga aku sudah bisa jalan dengan baik by then...

Segitu dulu deh... jempolku sudah nyeri lagi nih rasanya... Until the next post, friends. God bless you all! :)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

A nice poem

When you are sad,
think of your shadow.
Even if you run away,
it will follow you.
Whatever may fall on you,
you can be sure that it will not leave you.

- unknown


Ps. sorry, not really in the mood for posting up my days. Will do as soon as I get the mood. :)

Sunday, June 11, 2006

God Knows

When You feel tired and hopeless because all your efforts turn out to be nothing,
God knows how hard you have tried.
When You cried for so long, yet your heart is still painful,
God has counted your teardrops.
When you think that your life is waiting for something and time goes so fast,
God is waiting with you.
When you feel lonely and your friends are too busy to call you,
God is always by your side.
When you think you have tried everything and don't know what else to do,
God has the answer.
When everything does not make sense and you feel depressed,
God can calm you down.
When you suddenly see a trace of hope,
God is whispering to you.
When everything goes well and you feel like giving thanks,
God has blessed you.
When something beautiful happens and you are filled with awe,
God has smiled to you.
When you have visions to fulfill and dreams to make them come true,
God has opened you eyes and called you by name.
Remember that wherever you are facing...
GOD knows.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

a brand new place

Hola everyone! Apa kabar semua? Weekend pada ngapain? Aku sudah pindah ke tempat baru sekarang... lebih kecil kamarnya, sharing kamar mandi and dapur, tapi lebih deket dengan kampus. Baru kemarin pindahan, hari ini badan masih pegel-pegel rasanya. Untungnya kemarin dibantuin Lan and seorang temen gereja, jadi pegelnya ga keterlaluan.
Weekend ini rencana ga kemana-mana, mo take a rest aja, lagian ada tugas programming yang masih belum kelar *hiks*

Yo wis itu aja kali ya... aku lagi capek berat, kepengen balik tidur lagi rasanya...

Have a blessed weekend, everyone! God bless you all!
Continue to love and miss that person,
Love will come again.
Just like playing a game of hide and seek.
Even if you cannot see it,
Love must be waiting somewhere.
Lost amongst all the chaos,
But kept in our prayers.
Those people in love will surely meet again.

- Spring Waltz, 2006

Monday, June 05, 2006

1st reunion... on my birthday?!

Kemarin, aku dapet surat dari high school-ku, GVGS. Isinya ternyata tentang event di tahun 2006 ini. Pas baca daftar event yang bakal take place tahun ini, aku langsung fokus ke daftar acara reuni. Memang aku dah expect tahun ini bakal ada acara reuni untuk alumni lulusan tahun 2001 (that is the year I graduated from high school). Ditulis di surat itu the first reunion for Class 2001 is on 18 November 2006. Lah... my birthday donk?! Huhuhu...

Sejak habis baca itu, aku jadi kepikiran dan bertanya-tanya sendiri... Dateng gak yah?! Secara sekarang Australian visa-ku sudah expired and keadaan ekonomi yg ruwet, aku rada gak yakin bakal balik lagi ke Australia hanya untuk reuni... Apalagi ada rencana kumpul-kumpul keluarga pas hari ultahku juga. So ya... we will see.
Pingin sih dateng... ketemu temen-temen lama lagi, bernostalgia and lihat perkembangan di sekolah plus ketemu guru-guruku dulu. Hiks... I miss Australia. BUT, thinking it over and over... I might not go at all.
Still... I feel special that the reunion is on my birthday... Arghhh... soon I will be 22.

Ps. pas ngecek di websitenya GVGSpun ternyata sudah terpampang tanggal reunion-nya... *lihat di gambar, yg aku kotakin merah*

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Dissertation & Packing Up

Hello people! I hope you all were not wondering whether I am away again or not. This week I've been going to Campus regularly to see my supervisor and get some books from the library. My dissertation starts this week... plenty of reading, thinking and programming to do. So please pray for me.
With the summer holiday started already, the campus is so empty now... the undergraduate students are enjoying their holidays, but not us, the postgraduate, we still have to study. Anyway, soon in three months time, I will be finished. And hopefully, have a job waiting for me *fingers crossed!*

Apart from that, I am also in the middle of packing my stuff up. Yep! I am moving to a different dormitory. Since my contract will end on 10th June 2006, I have to find some where else to live. I cannot stay longer here, because during the summer this dormitory is booked for conferences. It was quite hard finding a place to live during this time of the year *it's like the odd time of the year* Thank God I found it. The place is quite nice; in the campus area, close to city center and the rent is cheaper than the place I live right now (although I have to share the bathroom, whereas here, I have my own ensuite.). Oh well, it's just for three months anyway...

What else have I been doing? I have been watching movies a lot these days... I meant, movies that I downloaded . I knit while I watch movies, so sometimes, I concentrate more to the knitting than the movie hehehe... but still, it's fun. I think that's all for now. It's quite late, I think I better go to sleep.

Have a blessed weekend, everybody! God bless you all!
Ps. It's June already... Time flies!
Only those lovers that can compromise with one another without feeling stressed are truly in love.



- Unknown

Sunday, May 28, 2006

4 things...

Waktu blogwalking, aku baru tau ternyata diriku dapet PR dari my beloved sista, Mee chan. Here it is:

4 jobs you've had in your life
- Guest Relation Office @ John Robert Powers, Denpasar. Cuma 3 bulan aja, kebetulan temporary vacancy.
- Undergraduate Researcher @ Department of Mathematical Science, Univ. of Liverpool.
So far, itu aja. Abisnya berkutat jadi murid terus sih :P

4 Movies you could watch over and over
- Ever After
- Finding the Neverland
- Il Mare (Korean)
- Madagascar

4 TV shows you love(d) to watch
- Amazing Race
- America's Next Top Model
- (any) Cooking programme
- Asian dramas; Goong (Palace), The Last Dance is With Me, Spring Waltz, etc.

4 places you have lived
- Surabaya, my birthplace
- Denpasar, where I grew up until 15 years old
- Shepparton, Australia
- Liverpool, United Kingdom

4 of your favorite foods
- ayam bumbu rujak bikinan mami
- dimsum; ceker ayam & ha kauw udang (sama kayak Mee chan *toss*)
- tahu tek
- mie surabayan (mie tempo doeloe yang dijual cuma di sby, susah banget dicari sekarang :( tapi uenak tenan!) dasar Sherly, seleranya gak jauh2 dari kampung halaman :P

4 websites you visit daily
- my own blog
- my emails, including, yahoo and university email accounts
- d-addicts.com
- my friends' blog links

4 tagged
- Irvana
- Fitri
- Sinceyen
- Yuki chan

Friday, May 26, 2006

- no title -

Kebiasaan beberapa minggu jarang posting, jadi bikin aku kagok untuk update blog... sampe pada ngira aku ngilang lagi, eheheh... Well, here I am.
Minggu ini, skripsi dimulai. Rasanya bener-bener ga ada istirahatnya deh ya... Ada paper setebal 44 halaman yang mesti dibaca dan dimengerti untuk menjalani skripsi yang satu ini. Dalam jangka waktu 3 bulan, aku harus bisa beres, secara tanggal 5 September 2006 aku akan terbang menuju home sweet home. AKu bener-bener sudah ga sabar untuk bisa pulang lagi, ketemu keluargaku... dan mungkin juga saat itu, aku harus mengunjungi makam engkongku. Aku masih merasa sesak saat ini... rasa sedihku seperti tersumbat di dalam hatiku. Lebih terasa helpless berada beribu-ribu kilometer dan tidak bisa membantu apa-apa daripada berada di sana dan menangis tersedu-sedu. Tapi yah... aku bisa apa? Sometimes things does not always go the way we want it to be...

Sementara itu, adikku si Erwin sudah tiba di Surabaya dengan selamat hari Rabu yang lalu. Kepulangannya, yang seharusnya tanggal 18 Juni, akhirnya dipercepat karena meninggalnya engkong kami. Sesampainya di bandara international Ngurah Rai, hari Rabu sekitar jam 13.00, dia langsung naik pesawat via bandara domestik ke Surabaya. Bisa kubayangkan capeknya... Tapi aku tahu, dia sekarang lagi bersenang-senang ria. Tadi waktu SMS-an dengannya, aku bertanya dia sudah makan apa saja... Dan jawabnya bener-bener bikin iri!!! Oh well... my time will come soon.
Selain pusing mikirin skripsi, aku juga berusaha bikin beberapa pesanan layout. Tapi mungkin karena sudah lama aku ga bikin layout, inspirasi rasanya koq lambat banget untuk dateng... Mood juga gampang surut. Jadi buat yang pesan layout, harap sabar menanti ya... Aku masih rada porak poranda inside out.

Well... itu dulu deh untuk sekarang. Postingnya ngga jelas banget dan campur aduk... tapi yang penting kan update, tul gak? Hehe...

Lastly, I'd like to wish you all a very blessed weekend! God bless!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Back from business!

Aloha!!! I am back from busy days... I miss my blogging world so much hehehe... probably missed a lot of stories as well from you guys.
Oh well... now that the exams are over, I can have a little bit relaxation for myself. For the last several weeks, I and my feelings have been up and down... There are times I am sad, stressed out, happy, leaping in joy, oh... it is a mixture of feelings. Well, I don't really want to discuss any of them in particular, but this post is just to tell you that I am back.
Now, I have so much blogwalking to do! So wait for me in your blog, okay!!

God bless you all! And have a nice week ahead!
Your journey had ended that day...
Saturday, 20th May 2006 at approx. 09.00 a.m. WIB.
Have a nice rest, Grandpa...

Sorry, I did not have the chance to say 'I love you' for the last time.
Sorry, I cannot be there to say 'goodbye'.
Sorry, for making you cry when we had our conversation on the phone between the million miles.
Sorry... and sorry... for not having many words to describe how I was feeling that day.

One thing I am sure about, is that you are full of peace and joy in the Heaven above with my beloved Father.


- written in grief and joy as a memorial to you, my grandpa.
- nie @ 21st may 2006

Thursday, May 18, 2006

What am I?

What am I?
That You say, "You need me"...
What am I?
That You ask for my time...
What am I?
That You ask for my heart and life...

I am forever grateful, Lord...
That You favor me.
That You love me.
That You do miracles in my life.
That You want to use me.

Thank You for being my everything.
I love you, Father...

- nie @ 18 May 2006.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Refreshing water for my thirsty soul...

For You are my lamp, O LORD;
The Lord shall enlighten my darkness.

For by You I can run against a troop;
By my God I can leap over a wall.

As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the LORD is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.


For who is God, except the LORD?
And who is a rock, except our God?

God is my strenght and power, and He makes my way perfect.

2 Samuel 22: 29-33

Thank you, Lord, for a better day...
For lifting me up and being my strength.
As for the 'battle' today, let Your will be done.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Thank you, Mom...

No matter how strong the raging wind is...
Your tender voice is always able to calm it down.
No matter how hectic my inside mind is...
You are always ready to pour out peace.
And no matter how much tears I drop...
You always suceed to bring smiles and laughter to me.

Thank you, Mom...
For being who you are to me.
For giving me a shoulder to rest and a peace to my mind.
For unloading the stress and burdens in me.

No one does it better.


Ps. Sorry banget blum sempet blogwalking sama sekali. Aku lagi stress berat; banyak pikiran dan nervous banget ngadepin ujian. Mungkin nanti sesudah kelar ujian baru deh sempet keliling. For now, God bless you all!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Quick one...

Hola everyone! Thanks so much for your effort to keep visiting my blog while I was on hiatus. I can't say that I'm back yet... but I thought it would be nice to just post a quick news about me.
I am still here... the second essay is finished, but I am still struggling to get my programming assignment done. So that's what I am busy at right now... Plus, I will be having four exams from 08th May 2006 until 19th May 2006, so you can expect me to not posting here too often until then.
After that, on 22nd May 2006, I'll have to start my final dissertation... Hopefully, by then, I'll be more relaxed than now. So... apologize for not being able to visit you all too often. But for now, I will 'steal' some time to visit you around.

Until the next one!

Update: Blogwalking around is finished! Fiuh... around 3 hours visiting back all those addresses. Hopefully, soon, I'll be able to visit you all again one by one.

As part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, it is you and me.
Together forever and never apart,
Maybe in distance, but never in heart.

Remembrance of the Korean drama 'The Last Dance is With Me'.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

259th posting

One essay finished at 4 a.m. this morning with 3986 words in total! *sleepy*
Another one to be started tonight!

so... HIATUS mode: ON! ^^;

Friday, April 14, 2006

lucky stars

my lucky starsAkhirnya ludes sudah kertas lipat yang dikirim mamiku dalam jangka waktu kurang dari seminggu! Sayangnya jumlahnya kurang, jadinya botolku hanya terisi separuh. *Ada yang mau nyumbang ngirim? Karena aku tahu di sini tidak ada yang jual kertas lipat yang seperti itu, adanya yang bujur sangkar saja* So, here is the picture. Gak terlalu jelas sih, tapi ya kanggo lah ya hehe...

Tak terasa sudah 2/3 dari liburanku terlewati, tugas belum semuanya tuntas, tapi mata terasa penat karena harus membaca banyak jurnal dan buku tebal untuk mencari data... *sob* Jadi minggu depan, bakal full time doing homework deh!
Tadi *jumat* aku bereksperimen di dapur. Bikin brownies... belum aku coba sih rasanya bagaimana kue yang baru keluar dari oven itu, tapi waktu mengaduk adonan, rasanya sudah pas. Aku bikin kue dalam rangka ultah si Lan tanggal 13 kemarin. Kebetulan dia sudah kembali dari Cambridge, jadi besok aku akan berkunjung ke tempatnya dengan membawa kue brownies dan hadiah ulang tahunnya. Semoga saja dia suka...

Niwei, pendek saja... happy weekend, everyone! God bless!