Friday, December 29, 2006

2007 in my thought

I clicked through my blog yesterday, for the posting throughout 2006, and found that at the beginning of the year my aim for 2006 was to finish my Master degree with a distinction pass. Actually, it was successfully fulfilled. In November, I got the results for my Master course and I jumped with happiness to know that I pass the Master degree with Distinction. (All glory and honour only to Jesus, who gives me the abilities to go through and finish another chapter of life and gives me victory!)
So, really, for the last several days of 2006, it is only right if I give thanks continually to my Father in Heaven for all the blessings, joy, peace and love He gave throughout the year. And these thankfulness shall not terminate all the days of my life.

So, what's ahead of me? Well... several weeks ago, my plan was to return to UK in December, find a job and to be with Lan. But things change and not all can go according to our desires.
Now, the future is completely different from what I imagined several weeks ago. I will be at home (Denpasar), for I don't know how long, until I get a definite position in one of the Universities I have applied for a PhD course. Yes, I am going to study again hehehe... And this time, I will only study under one condition; getting a scholarship. I depended enough on my parents, now, it is time for me to be independent. My brothers and sister still need my parents' support more than I do, and they deserve to receive the same education support like me.
Indonesia's economy condition makes it hard for my parents to support me this time. I know that and I don't want to be selfish. I know my place and position. So, this time, I will try my best and with Jesus by my side, I shall not fear anything. For I believe, with God, nothing is impossible!

At the moment, I got an interview invitation for 18 January 2007 from University of West of England (UWE) for a PhD studentship position in Applied Mathematics, which I thank The Lord for! At the same time, I have submitted my application form to University of Liverpool (UofL) for a PhD position in Computer Science. And I'm in the process of submitting my application form for scholarship award.
Personally, I'd prefer to return to Liverpool, because their research history is much better than UWE. However, with UofL, I have to work on finding a scholarship by myself, as right now, they don't advertise for studentship, i.e., I have to apply for the scholarship separately from the PhD position.

Therefore, friends, I kindly ask for your support in prayers. These days, sometimes doubts come and try to destroy my faith and belief. My worldly thoughts tries to block my trust in Jesus, which suppose to know that nothing is too hard for my God.
So, please help in prayers. Thank you very much in advance.

That's all I want to share for the day. Until the new year comes! Jesus be with you and bless you always!

Rejoice! Jesus loves you!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Several days to 2007

Christmas has just passed, but I'm still feeling Christmasy. There is nothing fancy about it, but being with my family is something special and rare to experience. There were years, when I was far away and had to celebrate Christmas all by myself (with Jesus, of course!).

Everybody knows that year 2007 is only several days away from 2006. As for me, I start to think about I've done for the whole years. Maybe I should reflect by looking back to the postings from January 2006 in my blog. I am quite sure I wrote almost everything in the blog, except for very personal matters. What about you all, my friends? Have any special events to celebrate the New Year's Eve? It's a Sunday, so for me, it's the Church service for sure. *grin*
And I know what I want to do for the New Year's Eve... I want to give thanks to my Lord, Jesus Christ, for the whole year 2006, for His blessings, guidance, love and everything. No matter how bad things went and how sad I became at times, it has been a GREAT year with Him. It taught me many things and brought me closer to Him.

And I will live with no regrets, even if I feel sad when I look back, I will still have no regrets. There is no use in regreting, for it doesn't change a thing. And I hope it is the same thought of you all. :)

Okay, that's all for now. It was just some thoughts of mine today. Jesus bless you all!
The past was a lesson.
The present is time of correction.
The future is vision.

And FOREVER, Jesus is our FAITHFUL companion.

- nie, 26 December 2006

Thursday, December 21, 2006

My warmest greetings to you all...

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!

Update:
This Christmas, we put up a simple little old white Christmas tree that I got years ago from my grandma.
This Christmas, no fancy dinner or cookings.
This Christmas, no definite plans for the year ahead.

This Christmas, though, I am grateful to celebrate it with my parents and my little siblings.
This Christmas, though, I celebrate it with Jesus inside my heart, closer each second.
This Christmas, though, Jesus has given me such a sweet gift and many others.

And all I want for this Christmas is JESUS. Just HIM, that's all.

Have a blessed Christmas, my friends! Rejoice! It's our Jesus' birthday!

*hugs*

Sunday, December 17, 2006

barbie, starfolding & food

Days are 'long' for me to still be at home. I am glad that this year I will be able to celebrate Christmas and New Year with my parents and little siblings. It's Jesus' birthday, it's a super special day! And I'm excited to think about that.

Move on from that, you might think "What does Sherly do at home?". Well, these days, I am 'busy'. There are many things to do, believe me... *grin* Closer to the holidays, there are many visitors coming, they are usually my parents' friends. In that case, we always try to become a good host for them, we take them around and make sure that they enjoy their stay. With my family's tradition to always go out together, makes me always busy travelling around Denpasar (that means I am bound to be sitting in the car almost the whole day sometimes!).
However, when I really do get time to stay at home (i.e., the family is not going anywhere), I will be playing with my little sister or doing origami. Playing with my sister could mean anything; from helping her with homework, giving her a bath, or even playing Barbie with her, which I just did today! It brought me back to about 9-10 years ago, where I used to play it all by myself. Today, as I promised her yesterday, I took out all my Barbie toys, set them up and played a bit for her, then watched her play (my right leg was too painful to sit and move around on the floor!). But, yeah..., I became a little girl again for awhile and it was still fun! :)
Doing origami is one of the things I enjoy. Since September, I have tried many other paper-foldings; strawberries (which are very cute!), flowers and roses (which I failed to master the skill *sob*). I switch between folding stars and other shapes to avoid boredom. The last time I counted, I have around 1200 stars already and I'm still making them. Mum gave me a big water bottle (for those in Indonesia, they will know the 6 liters Cleo water bottle!) to fill up! Hehehe... What a job, eh?

So far, I told you about several hobbies of mine at home (I still have a lot more!), but the routine of mine is to enjoy my home food hehehe... My mum's cooking or any food that my parents give me. I think I'm getting fatter *blush*

But, more important than that, I am still busy looking for information about PhD Studentship in UK!!! Pray and try... I have faith that Jesus will give me such a sweet gift for Christmas! He told me so! :)

That's all for now *such an unimportant post, eh? :P* Jesus bless you, my friends!!

Friday, December 15, 2006

cium tanah air

Hari ini, aku jatuh di Hard Rock Hotel. Kaki kananku luka-luka semua *hiks* Sakit banget euy! Gara-gara tangganya licin, sakit semua deh... Biru lebam dan merah darah, serta bengkak yang kerasa banget bikin aku ngerasa gak karuan.
Blum lagi hatiku rasanya lagi porak poranda... saat ini window MSN ngobrol sama dia masih ter-minimize. Saat hening. Tadi ngobrol pun rasanya masih perih. Dia bilang kita teman baik, tapi apa benar dia sudah merasa demikian di sana? Apa iya teman baik tuh tahu segala-galanya tentang temannya, sampai hal-hal personal? Aku masih merasa miris.
Sekalipun aku merasa aku sudah move on, sudah bangkit dari rasa sedih dan sudah bisa rela, tapi hati masih bergejolak.
Mungkin aku perlu beberapa saat lagi.

Sementara itu... PhD applicationku sudah masuk database mereka dan dalam tahap pemrosesan. Tolong bantu doa ya, friends! Doa untuk kelancaran serta supaya Tuhan Yesus buka pintu untuk sebuah scholarship, karena jujur aja ortuku gak sanggup membiayai aku. Dan masa sudah dibiayai sampai master, aku masih mau terus bergantung sama mereka? Kasihan adik-adikku nantinya. Aku ingin kasih mereka kesempatan untuk juga bisa mengenyam pendidikan setinggi dan sebaik aku. Jadi, tolong bantu doa yah. Aku percaya doa itu sangat besar kuasanya.

Ya sudah, itu aja hari ini. God bless you all!

Ps. aku kali ini tulis bs. Indo supaya dia ga ngerti apa yang sedang aku gumulkan, kali aja dia membaca. :)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

blogwork

Lama ga pernah dapet 'PR' blog, kali ini, Icha ngasih aku PR. Here we go:

5 Alasan kenapa saya suka blogging:
1. Jadi saluran hobi nulis
2. Jadi salah satu alat untuk aku mencatat serta membagikan betapa Tuhan Yesus itu nyata dalam hidupku
3. Jadi tempat curhat
4. Jadi salah satu buku harian yang bisa aku update dimanapun aku (asal ada internet)
5. Bisa punya banyak teman.

5 tipe blog yang saya sukai:
1. Isinya seru, menguatkan iman dan menarik.
2. Isinya tidak dibuat-buat, alias memang benar-benar terjadi.
3. Tidak terlalu bertele-tele
4. Pemiliknya ramah.
5. Blog contentnya ga terlalu banyak/ yang penting-penting aja.

5 blogs yg paling sering saya kunjungi: (sama kayak Icha :D)
1. Blog sendiri
2. Blog temen2 yg ada di list
3. Blog yg ngasi komen ato ninggalin pesen di shoutbox.
4. Blog yg direkomendasiin temen
5. Blog yg pemiliknya jg sering ngunjungin gw.

5 blogger yg dapet giliran ngerjain PR:
Yang ini, sapa aja mau ngerjain boleh deh. :)
The tears I cried become diamonds,
The love you left becomes gold,
And the heart you broke becomes powder of rubies...
In the eyes of Jesus Christ, I am His precious jewel.

Sherly Nie - 03 December 2006

Saturday, December 09, 2006

After a week

A week has passed away since the tearful moments I had. Yes, I was in shock, too. However, reality wakes me up, this is for real... I'm not dreaming. I guess it's time for...
"The Long Goodbye"

I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free (so they say)
But it sure is hard to do
Yeah, it sure is hard to do
And I know they say if they don't come back again
Then it's meant to be (so they say)
But those words ain't pulling me through
Cos I'm still in love with you
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
But it's just you and me going through the mill
(climbin' up a hill)

[Chorus]

This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?
No matter how hard I try
You're gonna make me cry
Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it
All that's happening here is a long goodbye

Sometimes I ask my heart did we really
Give our love a chance (just one more chance)
and I know without a doubt
I turned it inside out
And if we walked away
would make more sense (only self defense)
But it tears me up inside
Just to think we still could try
How long must we keep riding on a carousel
Going round and round and never getting anywhere?
(on a wing and prayer)


[Chorus x3]

The long goodbye x2
This is the long goodbye

Someone please tell me why

Are you ever coming back again x3
Guess I'm never coming back again.

Song by Ronan Keating.

Through this, I thought I'd be alone... but I'm not. I have Jesus, my supportive family (my mum especially! Thanks mum!), and my beloved friends (Esp. Yulia & Mee-a! I know you two were thinking about me a lot).
If it weren't them, I'd be crazy right now, depressed and stressed out. I especially thank my Jesus for holding my heart in the palms of His hands, for listening to my prayers and the knowing how my heart feels. I feel so much better, lively and happier than a week ago, although I have to admit that sometimes it still hurts badly. However, I manage to smile and to play with my little brother and sister. One thing though that's still hard to do... is to sing. My heart is still heavy to do that, but soon, I'll praise and worship Him again with my voices.

Ps. Dear Lan, if you happen to read this, don't feel anything negative or sorry. It was meant to happen the way it is. Instead, I would like to thank you for such a heart that you have, that still wants to befriended with me and for you to always reply my emails as good friend. God bless you always, my friend!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Another new chapter

Hello all my friends! I am back after hiatus for a while, with a new blog design and new chapter of life...
What do I mean by new chapter of life? Well... sadly, Lan and I did not make it through. Due to some personal matters, we agree to be just friends. It is not that we didn't try hard enough, we did... but God's plan says different and we chose to follow. And we are just human, who can feel hurted, sad and broken, it was such a difficult decision that we had to take.
So... here I am, all alone again, but with Jesus all around me.

I also have decided to postpone my trip back to UK until January. I need some time, to adjust with the lost in my heart and to take care of something. Please, I ask you all kindly, pray so that The Lord strengthen me and also that The Lord opens the door for me for my future. I am planning to find a scholarship/sponsorship so that I can continue to study a PhD in Computer Science.
Please... please... please... I need your prayers and support. Thank you in advance! :)

Okay, that's all for now. God bless!
My dear...
We had tried our best. Yes, we really did.
We loved each other with all our hearts. Yes, we undoubtly did.
But we know, life does not always go the way we desire.

It hurts to the bones.
Yes, that's an honesty from me.
An angel with a pair of broken wings,
I feel I fell from high above,
Wounded and broken to pieces.

I need time to gather the pieces...
And so do you.
All that we've been through,
I treasure them as sweet scented memories.

Farewell my dear...
Until we meet again as friends.
I pray for God's blessings to be upon you,
And all is well throughout your ways.

With all my love... just for Lan.

Sherly Nie, 05 Dec 2006.