Thursday, September 27, 2007

Leaving the single life

Entering the marriage life is never easy, especially after the 'wedding fever' is over, honeymoon is done and life returns to the daily routines, where fights start to occur and not rarely the couple starts to think "Did I marry the right person?"
The 'experienced' people often say that the first few years of your marriage is critical and, yes, I agree to them. It is the 'shocking' time *if you wish to call it that way* of knowing the very trueself of your husband/wife, that includes all the bad and worst habits, which you never found when you both were still in the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

In my personal experience, after several months of marriage, we had arguments sometimes and that, I think, is not a strange thing. However, what we (Lan & I) realise is that the arguments or the fights are not caused by mistakes, but by our single life's habits. I remember my husband said to me, we are not robots, we cannot change the habits we had for 20-or-more years just in one day. And that applies to EVERYBODY. Thus, rather than calling the first few years of marriage as a shocking time, I'd prefer to call it the ADAPTATION period of marriage. If you are asking for an example, here is one...


Before the marriage, my husband used to watch TV to release his stress, everytime he got home from work and he carried that habit into our marriage lives. I got mad... simply because he has been away for the whole day, we both were busy doing our works and, yet afterwards, he spends his remaining time sitting in front of the TV.
What do I want? I want time to talk with him, I want to know how was his day. In one word, communication. However, somehow, he just did not think it is important! And so I got mad.

After we talked it through, *after some arguments though*, we realised that both of us were wrong. I was wrong for being mad and not knowing that it was his 'single life' habit. He was wrong for not thinking it through and thought that the TV was his only stress-relief, when he can actually talk to me and spend some quality time to communicate with me.

And so we both learnt.



Leaving single life is never easy... Sometimes it gives the feeling that you are not free anymore and restricted, but, hey, I am sure when you were proposed you yourself said 'I Do!'. So, live with the consquences. To me, I am not losing my freedom, it is just we have to view our world in a different angle that now we have someone to live our lives with together and forever.

To those, who are still in their single lives, don't think of this as a scary thing that will haunt you when you get married, but take it as a fun thing that you will only be able to do when you are married. :) Of course, knowing your beloved husband/wife deeper and better is a good thing right?

Remember, nobody is perfect, so everybody needs time to polish their lives to be better.

God bless you, friends! I hope my sharing is useful.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Back to where I belong

Hi guys! I'm not sure whether you are wondering how I've been, but here I am! Back to my blogging world, back to LIVERPOOL, back to be with my HUSBAND and back to be BUSY! Hehehe...
I arrived at 18.00 UK time on Monday, and every since then, many things I had to do. Buying household appliances; toaster, iron, microwave, groceries, etc. and tidying up the flat. Yep, we are living in a flat, which is owned by the University, we consider it nice enough to live in. It's just... it has a bath, but NO shower! That's the weirdest thing that I've ever known about a bathroom hahaha... Still, we gotta live with it. We are to be thankful that The Lord has provided us with somewhere to live.

During these several days, I got sick a number of times too. I got too tired and so sickness strikes. Even now, I am still recovering and getting used to the time and weather of UK again.

Above all, I have to say that... I am facing what the real marriage is.

Have a blessed weekend, friends!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Happy Birthday, Hans

Happy birthday, Hans!Tomorrow is Hans (my little brother)'s birthday. He is going to be 11 years old! So, A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to YOU, brother!

Well, this whole week, I have been doing something that I had never done before. I am a private English teacher now! Only for one week though, because Lee, the Korean girl who is my student now, rang me last Friday. However, she said that she is having a hard time during our lessons, because I am giving her the tasks which are similar to IELTS questions (Because that's exactly what she asked me to teach her!). I would say she is doing fine :) She is good, just need some more confidence.

Moving on to my excitement! Well... two days to go! I am very very happy! At the very moment, Lan is busy with moving into our new flat. I hope he is doing fine. Jesus be with him. Although my flight is still 2 days to go, my PhD supervisor has contacted me to arrange our first meeting next week. *Oh God... the study will start again very very soon!*
The great thing is that my supervisor has already asked for a computer to be ready for me and has allocated a place in the same office with Lan in Computer Science department! *Isn't GOD great?! VERY!*

Oh well, that's all for now... I'll post again when I already in UK. See you then!

Have a great weekend, friends! God bless you always!
Your naught,
your wit,
your excitement to everything around you,
and the way you see life with happiness and smiles...
Build you to be a unique and joyful person.

Tears, angers and sadness flea in less than a minute...
Smiles, laughters and joy seem to always full in you.
That's YOU. That's my brother, Hans!

Time flies fast...
You were once a chubby baby, whom I complaint when I had to carry you.
You are 11 years old now.

RICHARD HANSEL NIETIADI...
Have a very happy and blessed birthday!
God bless you and be with you always!

Monday, September 10, 2007

'til the day we gather again...

A week before my departure back to be with my husband, my beloved brother, Erwin flew back to London to return to Brighton for his last year of Bachelor. It's sad to face that the family is parted again after these 3 months we were all together and complete. However, there is nothing we can do about it... this is the consequence of our decision leaving home to pursue our education.

What I really know in my heart is that, although we are far away by distances, but our hearts are always connected to each other and missing each other. Thank you Jesus and Mami Papi for teaching us the importance of unity.
I remember when we were little...
Playing like friends, fighting like mad...
Loving each other endlessly.

We grew up as sister and brother and best friends.
Although unsaid, we are inseparable by hearts.
Win, I thank The Lord to have you. It's always been sweet time.

just for 'Nyo' Win.
Love you!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

12 months

This morning, when I turned the page of the daily calendar, I realized that I have been home for exactly 12 months now. I remember how happy and sad I was, leaving Liverpool and arriving in Denpasar; happy to see my whole family again and sad to be apart from Lan.
Many things have happened in the last 12 months. Up and down, laughters and tears, joy and sadness and many more. However, as you all know, the big event of all is our wedding in July. Lan told me many things have changed in Liverpool. They keep 'refurnishing' the city. Well, going back on the 17th, I am excited to see the changes in the city, but more importantly, I am overjoyed to be reunited with my husband again.
Not that I will not be sad leaving my family, I am sure I will, but, now, I have my own family to build, to take care of and to be with. Things are much different to one year ago, in a good way. :)

Well, less than 2 weeks to meet my husband again. I miss him so much...
I've proven many times, Lord...
That You are faithful.

Walking towards the future with You,
I will never be in doubt,
For the future You promised me is brighter than the sun could shine.

Thank You, Father, for this beautiful life with You.

- nie, 05th September 2007.