To GOD be the glory...
For the things He has done!
A note to myself!
I won't lie to myself any more... that I do struggle in my PhD at the moment. I feel as if I lost my motivations and visions as to why I do this. Things have gotten even worse when I start to think about my little family. As a married woman, I have the desire to have kids and be a full-time mother... especially since I've been on education for such a long period of time, it is always nice to think that when, one day, I can take a break for awhile by being a full-time housewife and a mother off course! However, when I start to think about my future of being a housewife, I start to see my current 'occupation' negatively; boring and not interesting at all. I am pulled between the two; reality and future (my desire)...
I have discussed this with Lan several times, and I am so blessed to have him as such a great husband. He never pushes me to one side or another, instead, he is always by my side all the way. He listens and he comforts. Praise God for him!
The bottom line is that, I don't want and I will never quit half way! I am not a quitter! I took my decision to go down this lane and I ALWAYS see myself finishing this chapter of my life well. I want to finish and get this PhD. I want to finish as a winner; winning from this crisis that sucking me in... It's just the question of HOW to get myself up and running again.
Praise The Lord for listening and for knowing what I need in my life! I got His wake-up call today through my supervisors. So, yesterday, I had my end-of-year interview with my 2 supervisors and my assessors. This morning, I got the feedback from my supervisors.
It was a nice talk, where I finally could vent what I've kept in my mind for the last several weeks. They gave me constructive advices and comments about the way I work and how I can do better in my research! I am glad and blessed! My supervisors stands up, encourages and believes in me. To hear them say that I've done good and I am capable to finish this whole PhD, is such a great encouragement for me!
I have so many things to praise God for... for such a fabulous husband (you are the best!), for great supervisors and assessors, for my health (just had a check-up today at the gym and my weight is completely fine! Still the same old ** kg! Haha), and for the little things He has done in my life!
Above all for today, I praise Him for this PhD crisis! It shows that I need Him all the way; that I get to this point not by my might but His... To HIM, all the glory I give. I've lived this day because of my Lord, Jesus Christ.
It makes me think of what Paul says in the Bible, I will run the race and aim to the finish line! I know I will!