Thursday, June 11, 2009

PhD crisis!

To GOD be the glory...
For the things He has done!

A note to myself!
I won't lie to myself any more... that I do struggle in my PhD at the moment. I feel as if I lost my motivations and visions as to why I do this. Things have gotten even worse when I start to think about my little family. As a married woman, I have the desire to have kids and be a full-time mother... especially since I've been on education for such a long period of time, it is always nice to think that when, one day, I can take a break for awhile by being a full-time housewife and a mother off course! However, when I start to think about my future of being a housewife, I start to see my current 'occupation' negatively; boring and not interesting at all. I am pulled between the two; reality and future (my desire)...

I have discussed this with Lan several times, and I am so blessed to have him as such a great husband. He never pushes me to one side or another, instead, he is always by my side all the way. He listens and he comforts. Praise God for him!
The bottom line is that, I don't want and I will never quit half way! I am not a quitter! I took my decision to go down this lane and I ALWAYS see myself finishing this chapter of my life well. I want to finish and get this PhD. I want to finish as a winner; winning from this crisis that sucking me in... It's just the question of HOW to get myself up and running again.

Praise The Lord for listening and for knowing what I need in my life! I got His wake-up call today through my supervisors. So, yesterday, I had my end-of-year interview with my 2 supervisors and my assessors. This morning, I got the feedback from my supervisors.
It was a nice talk, where I finally could vent what I've kept in my mind for the last several weeks. They gave me constructive advices and comments about the way I work and how I can do better in my research! I am glad and blessed! My supervisors stands up, encourages and believes in me. To hear them say that I've done good and I am capable to finish this whole PhD, is such a great encouragement for me!
I have so many things to praise God for... for such a fabulous husband (you are the best!), for great supervisors and assessors, for my health (just had a check-up today at the gym and my weight is completely fine! Still the same old ** kg! Haha), and for the little things He has done in my life!
Above all for today, I praise Him for this PhD crisis! It shows that I need Him all the way; that I get to this point not by my might but His... To HIM, all the glory I give. I've lived this day because of my Lord, Jesus Christ.

It makes me think of what Paul says in the Bible, I will run the race and aim to the finish line! I know I will!

21 comments:

  1. iya lah udah tanggung.. kudu dikelarin phd nya. good for you yang masih bisa (dan masih punya niat) untuk nerusin sekolah.

    lha kayak gua, dari dulu pengen ngambil master aja gak ngambil2... :P

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  2. halo sherly... salam kenal ya... aku udah bbrp kali mampir sini tapi baru ini komen2... :p
    aku jg ambil phd di belanda, kadang persis banget yang dipikirin, pinginnya nanti jadi housewife aja... tapi aku jg sama gak mau quit di tengah jalan, apapun jadinya nanti2....
    btw, udah taun keberapa? aku juli nanti jg mau end year interview taun pertama

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  3. Yup, bener tuh nanggung banget andai harus stop. Thanks Lord he has showed you the best path and encouraged you with many things around, hehehe... :)

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  4. Agreed, udah taon k2 kan kamu Sher, halfway to go. You can DO it sist ^^

    Seringkali Tuhan mengijinkan 'krisis' terjadi dalam hidup kita, supaya kita bisa bersandar sepenuhnya sama Tuhan. You're already a winner Sher, and you're currently running this race as a winner. Because God is with you all the time, and as you said He put such great people in your life to help you winning the race as a winner. :-)

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  5. iya sher, harus-kudu-wajib kelarin, jangan pernah ngerjain sesuatu nanggung2, nti nyesel di kemudian hari :)
    be a mother kan bisa menunggu, cia you! :D

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  6. biasa sher..kadang2x ada masanya kayak gitu. tapi jangan nyerah. udah ditengah jalan, tanggung ! selesaikan dulu, ntar terserah kalau maunya jd ibu rumah tangga aja. yg penting selesai dulu. motivate urself dg membayangkan betapa asyiknya kalo udah selesai programnya. tinggal bikin anak yeeeeeeehhaaaa :D

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  7. You can do anything through God who give you strenght :).

    He is a faithful God, throughout generations.

    You can complete your PhD.

    aku kangen kamu loh...

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  8. aku juga sering merasa down begitu dengan rutinitas dan keseharian yang ada... kepinginnya gini, gitu... padahal yang didepan mata ini yang harus dilakuin... tapi sering semangat drop. Syukur lah Sher, kamu ada support yang bikin kamu bangkit saat down...
    Semangat ya... kerjakan apa yang didepan mata kita sebaik2nya, maka yang lainnya akan diberikan pada waktunya...

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  9. good luck in your study..... lam kenal dari US

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  10. sher...inget aja slogan Obama...YES YOU CAN!
    cayo sherly...!

    anyway sher, nice template. dah lama aku gak beredar nih...
    sher, "how to be" movie dah beredar dvd nya ya? :P

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  11. Semangat sisss, pasti kamu bisa!!!

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  12. hi...salam kenal yah...
    n semangat terussss yah ^^
    GBU

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  13. Sistaaaaaaaa... apa kabar?
    Kangen niy huehehehe...
    Sukses ya :D

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  14. Sounds like you have it pretty well figured out - I wish you the best!! I have a good friend from college, and both of us decided to go for our PhD when we were still undergrads. Well, after a few years in my career (not having started back at school yet), I got married and eventually became a stay-at-home-mom. But she went ahead and got the PhD. As soon as she finished it she had a baby and she is still at home and pregnant with her second (like me). But we are both very happy with our choices and she plans to return to work someday. I think God will lead you in the path you should go if you keep following Him! ~xo Jess

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  15. Kelarin dulu sekolahnya...tanggung Nie...kali perlu refreshing lagi nih biar gak ngerasa monoton....

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  16. Haha emang suka aneh tu orang Sher :P Masi sok2 misterius jd klo kasi komen jg gitu.

    Kok blog diapdet, udha ga struggle lg kan? Have a nice week ahead sis :D

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  17. sher, nanyak donk. kalo ngambil Phd di England, otomatis jd staff lab ya ?

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  18. hal tersulit adalah mensukuri 'apa' yg kita punya dan bukannya terus mempertanyakan bagaimana cara mendapatkan sesuatu 'lebih'... duhhh bhsa nya kacau nii... lupa referensi mode on*...

    hehehehhe... salam kenal iia :)

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  19. Kalau ujung lorong sudah terlihat, mengapa harus balik lagi. Apalagi suami mendukung.
    Semoga sukses!

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