How's married life?

Marriage is not one-hundred-percent of happiness, really...
The reality is that...
There are things that you have to leave behind,
There are things that you gain while stepping forward into the new beginning.

Once, you belong to a family.
Now, you own your own family.
It's a kingdom that both of you, your partner and you, have to build to be strong, full of love, peace and joy.

Family should be a kingdom that imparts the joys of Heaven in Earth.

- nie, 06 May 2007

Ionce wrote my thought above about wedding and marriage in this post before I was officially married. And yes, things changed and are still continuing to change. But, hey, marriage is not as scary as some people think it is.

Well, this post is to answer all of you, who have asked me *and are going to ask me* about how my married life has been. I'd have to say that this post might not be the definite answer from me, because, as most of you already knew, I have to be apart from my husband, Lan, for 2 months just after a week we are married due to my UK visa validity.
So, how does married life feel to me?
  1. It really makes me feel that I am not alone anymore in this world.
    Ever since we are married, I got the feeling that I have someone, who is very reliable and trustworthy, to lean on, no matter what happens.
  2. We are one.
    Soul mates that have been united by God through holy matrimony to be one, not two anymore. It is beautiful, if you have felt it, to be able to share our feelings *whatever feelings it may be*, and how we are connected to each other in our hearts and minds. As if... we can automatically read each other's thoughts and feel each other's feeling without saying any words.
  3. Losing my independence
    This is something that is really personal to me and a task for me to be able to adjust to it. If you have known me long enough, you would've known that I have been away from my family since I was 15 years old until just now (22 y.o.) and most of those years I have spent it by myself. And I feel so independent that I don't worry about going to a new place by myself.
    However, now, having a husband, I cannot do always think like that anymore. Marriage involves 2 persons and it takes cooperation of both to build this marriage into a happy and beautiful family. Thus, I am learning to 'give up' some of my independence. And, hey! Having someone, who is ready to help you almost all of the time, is nice, isn't it? Hehehe...
  4. Married life = Divide your time wisely!
    These days, with the PhD waiting for me in Liverpool once I arrive, I often think on how to divide my time. I can imagine that I'll have to manage and take care of the household works (cooking, cleaning, shopping grocery, washing, etc) and at the same time be the best for the study plus spend a good quality of time with Lan. I'll have to say, even just an imagination makes me feel how hard it is to be done, but, whether I like it or not, I'll have to face it and do it.
    So, I am learning to sacrifice the 'fun' time that I used to have plenty of it when I was single for some things better. Wu wu wu... It's gonna be a bit hard maybe for me.
Well, this is quite long already. To sum it up, as I said in the poem I made above, I gain many positive things through my marriage already. A lot of lessons I learned and many are still waiting to be learned. Life is about learning, right? :) What am I leaving through this marriage? Slowly but sure is my childishness and selfishness. *That's a good thing for me hehehe*

OK, friends. That's all for now. God bless you all and have a lovely weekend.

Ps. thanks for wishing me to get well soon. I am much better right now. :)


  1. walah ketinggalan berita. udah nikah toh, nduk ? congrats ya...kecil2x jadi manten neh hihihi

    kalo udha nikah, memang rasanya tidak sendiri lagi. kekosongan terisi. tapi kadang aku suka sebel, masak gak bisa suka2x lagi hikikhik....aku doyan teri sambal, keluargaku gak suka

  2. hahaha, masih lama kayanya sampai saya menuliskan kata2 yang sama, huahahahaha... :D

  3. Hey, c'mon! Don't put "childishness" on the bad-guy spot :D. Selfishness is an adult problem most of the time. There's a lot of a child - or being a child - to understand than we ever do. I'm sure sometime in the future, you'll certainly see that. Like it or not, sooner or later, no matter how, "having a child" is one sure thing to get on your list of married life thingie :P.


  4. ...ditinggal misua seminggu aja aku udah kek cacing kepanasan, Sher. Gak enak...
    Tapi kamu bisa yach pisahan dua bulan...salut...

  5. cukur deh kalo dah cembuh... hehehhe...
    tinggal ciap-ciap ketemu Lan donk... hehheehe

  6. wew..
    pelajaran yg berharga bwt yg lum nikah hihihi..

  7. Hahaha.. masih dalam suasana romantis pengantin baru nih :)

    Nie, gw juga dulu langsung setelah seminggu married kepisah beberapa lama ama Reinier.
    So tunggu aja, kejutan2 nanti setelah ketemu dan melangkah sama2 :)
    Jalani aja dengan simpel dan alami.
    'gak usahlah mencoba merumuskan dengan kata-kata. Ntar pusing ndiri.

    Perjalanan waktu akan mengajar banyak hal padamu, termasuk kehidupan dalam sebuah rumah tangga perkawinan. (cieee.. kata-kataku... sampe takjub aku sendiri :D hahaha...)

  8. wah, pengalaman nih sher buat aku ntar .. hihihi. aku baru ngeh kalo hubby pergi kerja dah 2 bulan .. sabar sabar, hehe. kan buat masa depan juga .. hehehe. (sok tuwir aku)

  9. begitulah dunia pernikahan. ada suka pasti ada dukanya :)

    Yang jelas, kalau Dia dilibatkan, semuanya akan lancar2 saja. Se7 khan :)

    Masih kangenkah untuk cepat ketemu???

  10. allow nyonya muda;) kekekekek gelar bangsawan baru nih sher :p

    kalo aku kangen sama "my independence", hihihi.. awal²nya agak berat buat melepaskan beban, tapi lama² lupa kalo udah tak ada independence lagi :p

    sher, sorry berat blum aku bales, nanti sore²an indo ya....

    Anita aka Aiko's Mom

  11. .............(terdiam sambil bayangin gimana kalo aku nikah suatu hari nanti.)

    btw, udah setaun jg kak sherly di Indo (tahun lalu kan balik kemari pas september). kayaknya september ceria berlaku deh... tahun lalu kumpul lagi bareng family, tahun ini kumpul sama husand. hehehe... :D


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