Journey of Happiness

I am feeling uncertain... horrible... I am having bad feelings... why? Anyone has an answer? I am tired. Tired of asking myself what is happening inside... I hope... Nothing that came across my mind will happen... Please, God.

Sudah hampir satu minggu yah aku gak update, hehehehe... Sekarang aku sudah kembali di Liverpool lagi. Liburanku di rumah teman, di Oldham, bareng sama Viona (salah seorang teman baik dari Indonesia di Liverpool ini), sangatlah menyenangkan. Wuih... tiga hari di sana, rasanya seneng banget nget nget!!! Selama tiga hari itu, kami hampir-hampir tidak pernah berhenti ketawa, bener-bener heboh banget!!! Banyak banget aktifitas yang kami lakukan; jalan-jalan ke pedesaan yang udaranya segar sekali dan pemandangannya indah banget, masak-memasak, baby-sitting anaknya si Rini (this was mostly done by Viona aka Princess Viona kata si Rachel, nama anak itu - remember Shrek?!), ngopi di Starbuck dan tak lupa ketawa-ketiwi all the time! Asyik bener dahhh... Sesudah jalan-jalan ke Southport yang fun banget hari Selasa minggu lalu, stresku dah ilang. Ditambah lagi jalan-jalan ke Oldham, abis dah semua stresnya. Hehehehe... Minggu ini, temperatur koq rada menurun yah? Memang sih, matahari sudah lebih ...

On Tuesday, I went to Southport with 2 of my friends for a fun day trip. It ended up as a great day for us! Southport is a small town at the very west in the middle of Britain. As soon as we got off the train, I could notice the air of the sea. It was so fresh and chilling. Out from the train station, we went around the city and took some photos. Then, trying to find our way to Pleasureland themepark, we saw a long bridge heading towards the sea/beach. The bridge is called Southport Pier . We took a walk to the end of the bridge while we were admiring how fresh and beautiful the scenery is. The wind was so strong that my hair was a mess! Unfortunately, it was a low tide, so all we saw was sands and the sea was so far away. However, it was a nice walk. The weather was fine, although the wind was strong (it is supposed to be! It's the edge of the sea!) Coming back from the end of the bridge, we headed our way to Pleasureland themepark. It was around mid-day. The queue was lon...

Oh yes!!! Finally, I get time to rest and don't need to stay in the Campus for the whole day between the gaps waiting for the lectures. I feel so tired this semester, and now I feel excited about the holiday! So, I am getting rest this three weeks on one hand. On the other hand, this is also the time for me to revise and prepare for the last exam that will happen in May. In the weekend, I did not do much... Cleaned my room, changed my bed sheet, iron some clothes and finish some homeworks from my modules. It has been extremely warm here! Oh God! I found it too hot for me these couple of days. Even if I open my window at night time, I still sweat when I am sleeping. I don't think it's the weather, because the temperature was ranging between 10 and 17 degrees Celcius (which should not be too hot for me, eh?!) I think it's me! *grins* I might be better of living in the North Pole *hahahaha....* Even Oen-Oen was surprised, he asked me, "where do you live, dear? Is it i...

I am a seed that grows because You are the Soil. I am a plant that lives because You are the Sun and the Rain. I have leaves and buds ready to bloom because You are the food, the nourishment that keeps me alive and green. You are my Lord. I am a plant, You are my Carer. I can stand still against the wind because You hold my roots strong within You. Yes, You are the Soil. The Soil that is abundant with nourishment and strength... Able to give me life and make me grow more than I can imagine. I am a plant, You are my Sun and Rain. Your light gives me warmth in the cold icy winter season of life. Your raindrops cool me down and refresh me in the dry hot season of life. You... and only You The One that is able to develop me from nothing to something... To who I am now. I am glad, Lord... I am blessed... because I am loved by You.

Today, my last exams timetable for BSc has come out. *sigh* This is something to be prepared for over the holiday... So, I have to study hard this time! I am going to do my best and not disappoint my parents again! So, here is my exams timetable: Monday, 09 May 2005 - Group Theory Monday, 16 May 2005 - Advanced Database Management Tuesday, 17 May 2005 - Chaos Theory Thursday, 19 May 2005 - Non Physical Application (Maths Economy) That's going to be hectic! But... A happy thought to think about is that after 12.30 p.m. on 19 May 2005, I will be FREE for awhile!! Hoorayy!!! And, I shall be looking forward to my Graduation on 06 July 2005 at 10.00 a.m.! Oh... Time really flies! Having time, we can find love... But having love, we can not find time.

Many a humble soul will be amazed to find that the seed it sowed in weakness, in the dust of daily life, has blossomed into immortal flowers under the eye of the Lord. - Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811-1896) Sesuai permintaan... Ini terjemahannya: Jiwa yang rendah hati akan tercengang-cengang ketika menemukan bahwa bibit yang ditanamnya dalam kelemahan, di antara debu kehidupan sehari-hari, sudah tumbuh dan berkembang menjadi bunga-bunga yang abadi di mata Tuhan. - Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811-1896)

Iseng-iseng buka korden jendela sesudah masak tadi... Aku langsung disambut oleh sinar matahari yang hangat. Ah... Sudah beberapa bulan ini matahari meliburkan diri untuk bersinar terik di Liverpool. Akhirnya, diapun kembali dari cuti tahunannya. Namun... Jangan salah... Matahari bersinar terik belum berarti cuaca menghangat. Waktu aku mengambil foto di atas itu, kubuka jendelaku supaya cahaya matahari tidak terpantul oleh kaca jendela, dan fotoku menjadi blur. Begitu kubuka, aku langsung disapa oleh angin yang dingin menusuk tulang. Cepat-cepat kuambil foto yang bagus dan kututup jendelaku. Dinginnya aku tak tahan... Kelintingan yang kugantung di jendelaku berputar liar berpacu dengan kuatnya terpaan angin, membuahkan bunyi yang merdu. Bahkan saat jendela kututup rapat pun, bisa kudengar tiupan angin yang bisa kutebak kencang sekali... Jadi? Benarkah musim semi sudah datang? Benarkah musim dingin sudah pulang ke peraduannya untuk beristirahat? Ah... Aku tak yakin. Kemarin saja, hujan ...

Berhubung beberapa hari ini belum sempet posting, tiba-tiba iseng pingin posting pendek sajah hihihi... Minggu ini masih tetap sibuk dengan kuliah dan tugas-tugasnya... Minggu depan adalah minggu terakhir sebelum 3 minggu liburan Paskah dimulai *cihuiiii...* Kemarin malem (Rabu malam), nonton Monster Inc. - film kartun yg dah beberapa tahun lalu beredar. Sampe nangis euy... abisnya, menyedihkan. Tapi lucu juga... bikin ngakak :P Animasinya bagus (berhubung semester lalu belajar Image processing & Computer vision yang menyangkut animasi, jadi merhatiin juga tuh...) Hari ini, surprise surprise... Mimpi apa daku? Tiba-tiba, si Oen-oen ngajakin voice chat. Seneng euyyyy... Dah lama ga ngobrol panjang gitu sama dia. Biasanya kalo telpon juga bentar-bentar doank *pulsa terbatas* Lebih asiknya lagi, bisa gangguin dia sampe mati kutu ga bisa ngelak *hihihi...* Dah ah itu saja cukup, yang lainnya disensor saja hihihi... Sesudah ini, mau nonton The Pianist . Soalnya semua pada bilang bagus,...

I realised lately I haven't had time to have a deep thought about anything specific. It is as if when I try to do so, there is always something to distract me. Sometimes, ideas still come up and new lessons of the reality in life always bring some kind of amazement how people, and even I, missed the fact of how meaningful and sweet the things that happen in life... How little things that you do can mean so much to others around you... How some things that you think will be acceptable to others, turn out to be really irritating to them. Some people, like I do, try to please everybody around them without even thinking about whether he or she will enjoy it or not in their own life. I gradually learnt that I cannot please everyone without sacrificing something inside me; my own satisfaction and the feeling of enjoyment. Well, yes, it is true that we do not life by ourselves in this world. But enjoying what we are doing is important. There is no point of doing something that you don...

Yup... Bulan Maret buatku tuh bulan di mana aku kebanjiran ulang tahun orang-orang yang aku sayangi. Untungnya koq ya pas ga di Indonesia gitu lho... Bayangin aja kalo pas aku di Indo, pasti bokek berat karena mesti beliin hadiah buat mereka satu per satu hehehehe... Sesudah tanggal 1 Maret kemaren, Grace , adikku paling kecil berulangtahun yang ke 4 (Aku ga sempet posting tentang itu, karena hari itu pas aku lagi sakit berat.), tanggal 3 kemaren, Papi yang ulang tahun. Dan Tanggal 6 Maret (Sekarang jam 00.00 di Indonesia, makanya aku posting sekarang), Coen yang berulang tahun. Beberapa hari lagi ada juga teman-temanku yang lain yang berulang tahun. Yah... Aku pikir itu suatu anugrah dari Tuhan, bahwa aku masih mempunyai orang-orang yang kukasihi untuk bisa kuucapkan selamat ulang tahun dari tahun ke tahun. Dengan begitu aku pun ikut melihat dan menyadari bahwa Tuhan mengasihi tiap-tiap dari mereka, melindungi mereka selama setahun kemarin dan memberkati mereka hari demi hari dalam ...

Thank you for everyone, who wished me to get well soon. After two days of rest, I am feeling better now. I had a really horrible day on Tuesday. I forced myself to go to lectures that day. Tuesday is my busiest day... I have lectures from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m with only 2 hours break between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. I thought, the flu was not that bad, but it turned out to be so bad, because as soon as I got of the bus in Uni, I felt as if everything was spinning around me. So, I walked as fast as possible to Maths building, just in case something might happen to me. I still insisted to go to the 9 o'clock lecture, eventhough I had a second thought about going back home. I kept sneezing and sneezing in the lectures. Then I started to feel sore everywhere; my eyes, my ears, my nose and my whole body was in pain when someone touched. So, after the 11 a.m. lecture, I decided to go home. I had some lunch in Uni, since I have not cooked anything yet at home and took some medicine. At home, I slept...