Saturday, January 06, 2007

Do I know you too much?

Yesterday, I received an e-mail from Lan, which contains a link of the website that shows all the photos from the Bible Camp that he attended during Christmas holiday. He actually challenged me to find him in between so many photos.
When the webpage and the thumbnails of the pictures load up on my browser, I could immediately spot the photos that have him in them. I was surprised myself... even if it was only his back, I can recognize him.

Then, when I went online on MSN, he was online, too. So we had quite a long conversation. It was nice to talk again to him... it's been a while. We talked about many things, and I discovered more about how I can guess how he feels correctly. Do I know him too much? Should I try not to do it again? I don't know...

After the conversation, I went offline about 1 a.m. and tried to sleep but couldn't. So I prayed; having a conversation with my Father God. I felt so blue... so painful.
I realized that, although I've moved on, the feeling stays the way it is. The love remains unchanged. And I'm confused... should I throw it away? Or should I keep hoping?

And should I ignore the fact that I know you that much... beyond my awareness?
Tell me.

8 comments:

  1. Sher, sulit banget emang masuk lagi dalam suasana kaya begini... sebagai wanita kita emang selalu gunain perasaan dalam segala hal, Berdoa dan minta Tuhan Yesus kasi petunjuk aje Sher, kalo Tuhan kehendaki untuk kalian suatu ketika akan bersatu, Perasaan itu akan Tuhan tanamkan semakin kuat di hati Lan tapi juga di hati-mu sist,tapi kalo ngga, Tuhan akan cabut perasaan itu dengan berjalannya waktu... Berdoa dan minta terus petunjuk Tuhan sist.LJBU.

    XXX Shierly
    http://www.freewebs.com/shierlynet/homepage.html

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  2. Sherly, tidak ada orang yg bisa membohongi dirinya sendiri.
    Kita tidak bisa melepaskan perasaan yang ada semudah kita melepaskan kata-kata.
    Jangan menyimpan harapan, itu hanya menyakiti kamu. Tapi juga jangan berusaha untuk melepaskan perasaan itu, semakin kamu berusaha melepaskan, semakin perasaan itu mengikat dan menyakitkan. Berjalan saja dan biar waktu yang membantumu dan menjawab.
    Lepaskan pedih dan tanya serta bimbangmu dalam doa, setelah itu jangan bertanya lagi, berjalan saja.

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  3. wah, memang sulit ya... . Mungkin memang masih dalam proses kali, makanya belum bener2 "pulih" lagi... :) Time will heal

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  4. *hugz*

    totally natural and inevitable. From times to times, i feel like that too.

    walk ahead and try not to think too much about it. when the time and situation and everything else is right, let it come your way in the form of beautiful surprise =))

    cia yoo dearr

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  5. I know it's not easy, I know too that it is so difficult and life is not that bad afterall. Keep pray and pray.. take a deep breath, close your eyes, release the pain and hope you feel better..

    Hugzz

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  6. jgn terlalu pake perasaan, sher. gw tau kok apa yg u rasa'in coz gw pena ngerasa'in jg :). cia yo, sher. u pasti bisa ngelewatin'nya kok. GBU yach...

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