With the winter being unusually cold this year, my eczema has become the worst than ever before. It is painful and disturbing. At night, I would be hardly sleeping due to the itch and the inflamed feelings I experience... This obviously affects my day-to-day life; I cannot concentrate on my study because I'd be too tired during the day. And so, for the last several weeks, I barely made any progress.
Last Friday, my supervisors and I had a meeting. They would like me to seriously consider about suspending my study for at least a few months until I get better. This is due to the PhD's deadline being so strict, hence if I suspend it takes away the pressure of not keeping up with my research plan. On top of that, Lan had been suggesting me to go home, have some sunshine (damn UK! We can barely see the sun!) and relaxation a little bit.

After the meeting, I discussed this issue with Lan and my parents. At first, my parents would not agree I go home leaving Lan by himself here. I know that... I want to be next to him all the time, too, but, Lan cannot come with me! He has his research to do. However, with the desperation and no other solution in hand, they finally told me to go home. Still, I don't feel right. Lan does not feel right about this.
During the chat with Lan's parents today, they blamed Lan for being selfish and self-centered. They said my health should be a priority, Lan should let me go home... BUT I know he is NOT being self-centered nor selfish! I know... if I have other choices, I would rather stay by his side...

Yet, still... even with what our parents told us, we are still in dillemma.
We have time until 5th January to think about it, on that day, I'd have to tell my supervisors our decision. Another issue is that I have not got my passports with me. They (yes, 3 passports!) are still in the home-office's hands. I applied for a visa extension since 17 October, and yet, there still is no news.

Oh my Lord, give us wisdom...

Friends, any advice?


  1. Dear Sherly ,
    Ofcourse this is very difficult, but your health is the most important. Specially when it is so bad. And yes, the sunshine and sea-air will help a lot. My children have it also in a mild way, and it gets al lot better in the sunshine. My brother in law decided to leave the Nehterlands for this reason (it's rainy here also). And if you're able to suspend your study, and pick it up later, that would be the best way I guess.

    I hope Lan will understand and help you, and I hope you will get better. Ofcourse I hope everything will be ok with the pasports.

  2. sherl, aku gak ngerti. kok kt ortu lan, dia selfish ? bukannya lan malah nyuruh kamu pulang karena kesehatan ?

    diangetin didepan heater, gak mempan ya ? :D berat juga ya hrs pulang.

    sorry, gak ngebantu :D

  3. bener2 dilematis yah , berdoa aja Nie biar dapet petunjuk jalan apa yg kamu hrs tempuh ?

  4. Sher, it's a dillemma.. but i believe your health is now your first priority. You have the most supportive husband, and I believe God will make a way.

    I hope God sunshine bakalan mampir di UK, jadi kamu ga usah jauh2 pulang ke Indo Sher. :-)

    Btw, Edinburgh bakalan sedingin Liverpool ga Sher?

    Di Sydney jg akhir2 ini dingin bgt, padahal udah summer. Aku malah pake piyama2 winterku saking dinginnya.

  5. Hi Sher, I agree wif most of the prev comments, I strongly believe that you shoulda put health in priority.
    Both being apart fr Lan and leaving for home while deadline's so strict, are difficult, but somehow, nobody wants to be in this circumstances, but it's for the sake of your health.
    It'll be temporary and everything'll be alrite, take care ya Sher.. hope you and Lan can finally find the best solution. Merry christmas in adv.

  6. sherl, kl lu emang hrs pulang ya pulang aja say. Gua tau pasti Lan berat tp dia keknya jg dilema ya. Kesana istri kesini researchnya. Tp yg pasti dia milih yg terbaik bwt elo :) Kan lu jg gak selamanya mudik ;)

    Eh saran gua nih ya hihihihi maap malah belokin topik, gini loh kl mau nyari matahari gak usah jauh2 jeng, lu bisa liburan bareng ke Canary Islands ;)

    Tp semua ada di tangan lu say, lu pasti tau apa yg hrs lu lakukan..tssaaahhh..bahasanya gak tahan gua :D

    Moga semua ok :)..GBU!!

  7. Cuma bisa berdoa buat kalian...
    Cepat sembuh ya, Sher. Semoga semuanya bisa ditemukan jalannya.

  8. Hmmm, sulit juga ya kasusnya, hmmm... . Kalau untuk kasus diri, jelas health itu nomer satu. Soalnya nggak mungkin kan bisa menyelesaikan project kalau sakit? Kalau Lan, hmmm, ini dia sulitnya, aku juga bingung nih, hmmm...

  9. bener2 bingung yah arus ambil keputusan yg gmna... tp kesehatan itu penting coz skrg gw jg lagi skt hikz.... tp berat jg yach kalo arus ninggalin Lan sndran.. but sher, just pray n let God answer ur problem
    gbu yach...

  10. hmm I agree with previous comments, pulang aja, nggak apa-apa kan sesekali jauh dari suami? kan keluarga juga kangen.. hehe..
    tapi keputusan tetep di tangan sherly,mudah2an apapun itu yg terbaik ya..
    and get well soon..

  11. sherly... cepet sembuh yaaa.... mudah2an keputusan yang diambil adalah yang terbaik... :(

  12. hi, jeng. i think your healthy should be a priority. sure, it is very hard leave lan by himself there. but, it is just a moment right?

    anggap saja cuti sementara sbg istri. :) abis itu pasti makin hangat kok. *sok tau..

    c'monn. bali sun shine is waiting u.. :)

  13. gak nyoba ke dokter dulu sher? siapa tau bisa dikasih obat untuk ngilangin eczema nya tanpa harus pulang indo?

  14. All the best of you choose!
    Perhaps, healthy is important.

  15. Setuju sama om Tikno... semoga semua berjalan dan berakhir dengan baik...

  16. gw setuju sama usul jules, kalo bisa "nyari" matahari yang ga perlu pulang dan bisa dilakuin bareng lan, kenapa engga? tapi kerna aku ga tau daerah2 mana yang banyak matahari jadi ya ga bisa kasih suggest. klo di indo mah gampang nyari matahari, secara matahari buka cabang dimana2. hehehe... *pentung! bukannya mbantuin malah oot* hehehe...

    gw doain semoga kalian nemuin solusi yang tepat ya, sher...


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