Remembrance...

Beberapa jam yang lalu, aku ditoel sama si Mee-a di Y!M. Pas ditanya abis ngapain, aku bilang abis masak. Emang saat itu aku baru aja selesai masak soup *tunjuk-tunjuk foto* Trus berlanjut dengan pertanyaan 'masak apa?' serta penjelasan dari aku mengenai isi dari soup tersebut.
Ngobrol punya ngobrol, si mee-a bilang: "Jadi kepengen makan sop merah". Aku jadi langsung 'ngeh' dan inget sama Mamiku. Yup, sup merah itu salah satu masakan mami yang jadi favoritku! Somehow, pikiranku jadi melayang ke 15 tahun yang lalu... ke saat di mana Mami dengan setianya merawat aku yang saat itu masuk rumah sakit karena siku lengan kiriku patah. Ia selalu ada untukku... Demi aku, dia rela bolak-balik RS Darmo - Kedung Anyar untuk ngejaga aku dan juga untuk pulang untuk memasakkan makanan-makanan favoritku. Yang paling aku ingat adalah sup merah itu.
Satu rantang kecil, semuanya untukku. Bahkan di saat keletihannya begitu jelas nampak di wajahnya, ia tidak mengeluh... Ia selalu setia ada di sana; menyuapi aku, memandikan aku, menghibur aku, menemani aku serta menjaga aku dari incaran nyamuk-nyamuk ganas yang berkeliaran di kamar kecil pada malam hari itu. Ya... aku masih ingat, ia bahkan tidur di lantai beralaskan koran.
The thought came in seconds, even while I was still chatting with Mee-a. Tears rolled down my cheeks... I miss my Mum...

So I took a minute, said a little prayer for her and say my wish to be with her. She means a lot to me. She's always there... Even when I am away like now, she is always thoughtful, always has me in her prayers, always prioritize me and her other children above other matters.
She never complains, never dissapoints, never too tired for her children... She is a mother that I want to be like one day.

Missing you, Mum...
Missing our laughter together...
Missing the times how I feel that I am going shopping with my sister instead of my Mum.
Missing you a lot here...
I will see you, soon.

Aku jadi sentimentil begini ya... Niwei... I want to share something that I got during the Church service yesterday, since I keep remembering it.

I tell my friends about my desire to give myself to God.
My friends tell me to give my 'wallet' to God, then I will give all of myself automatically.
I give my wallet to God, saying "Here Lord, you can have my wallet. Most of the time it's empty anyway..."
But then I feel that I haven't given my life at all to Him.
So I ask The Lord, "I gave you my wallet, Lord, why do I still feel that I haven't given myself to you? What do I have to give, so You can have the whole me?"

The Lord replied,
"Give me your mouth, my child. Then I will have the whole you."