Journey of Happiness

I clicked through my blog yesterday, for the posting throughout 2006, and found that at the beginning of the year my aim for 2006 was to finish my Master degree with a distinction pass. Actually, it was successfully fulfilled. In November, I got the results for my Master course and I jumped with happiness to know that I pass the Master degree with Distinction. (All glory and honour only to Jesus, who gives me the abilities to go through and finish another chapter of life and gives me victory!) So, really, for the last several days of 2006, it is only right if I give thanks continually to my Father in Heaven for all the blessings, joy, peace and love He gave throughout the year. And these thankfulness shall not terminate all the days of my life. So, what's ahead of me? Well... several weeks ago, my plan was to return to UK in December, find a job and to be with Lan. But things change and not all can go according to our desires. Now, the future is completely different from what ...

C hristmas has just passed, but I'm still feeling Christmasy. There is nothing fancy about it, but being with my family is something special and rare to experience. There were years, when I was far away and had to celebrate Christmas all by myself (with Jesus, of course!). Everybody knows that year 2007 is only several days away from 2006. As for me, I start to think about I've done for the whole years. Maybe I should reflect by looking back to the postings from January 2006 in my blog. I am quite sure I wrote almost everything in the blog, except for very personal matters. What about you all, my friends? Have any special events to celebrate the New Year's Eve? It's a Sunday, so for me, it's the Church service for sure. *grin* And I know what I want to do for the New Year's Eve... I want to give thanks to my Lord, Jesus Christ, for the whole year 2006, for His blessings, guidance, love and everything. No matter how bad things went and how sad I became at time...

Update: This Christmas, we put up a simple little old white Christmas tree that I got years ago from my grandma. This Christmas, no fancy dinner or cookings. This Christmas, no definite plans for the year ahead. This Christmas, though, I am grateful to celebrate it with my parents and my little siblings. This Christmas, though, I celebrate it with Jesus inside my heart, closer each second. This Christmas, though, Jesus has given me such a sweet gift and many others. And all I want for this Christmas is JESUS. Just HIM, that's all. Have a blessed Christmas, my friends! Rejoice! It's our Jesus' birthday! *hugs*

D ays are 'long' for me to still be at home. I am glad that this year I will be able to celebrate Christmas and New Year with my parents and little siblings. It's Jesus' birthday, it's a super special day! And I'm excited to think about that. Move on from that, you might think "What does Sherly do at home?". Well, these days, I am 'busy'. There are many things to do, believe me... *grin* Closer to the holidays, there are many visitors coming, they are usually my parents' friends. In that case, we always try to become a good host for them, we take them around and make sure that they enjoy their stay. With my family's tradition to always go out together, makes me always busy travelling around Denpasar (that means I am bound to be sitting in the car almost the whole day sometimes!). However, when I really do get time to stay at home (i.e., the family is not going anywhere), I will be playing with my little sister or doing origami. Playi...

H ari ini, aku jatuh di Hard Rock Hotel. Kaki kananku luka-luka semua *hiks* Sakit banget euy! Gara-gara tangganya licin, sakit semua deh... Biru lebam dan merah darah, serta bengkak yang kerasa banget bikin aku ngerasa gak karuan. Blum lagi hatiku rasanya lagi porak poranda... saat ini window MSN ngobrol sama dia masih ter-minimize. Saat hening. Tadi ngobrol pun rasanya masih perih. Dia bilang kita teman baik, tapi apa benar dia sudah merasa demikian di sana? Apa iya teman baik tuh tahu segala-galanya tentang temannya, sampai hal-hal personal? Aku masih merasa miris. Sekalipun aku merasa aku sudah move on, sudah bangkit dari rasa sedih dan sudah bisa rela, tapi hati masih bergejolak. Mungkin aku perlu beberapa saat lagi. Sementara itu... PhD applicationku sudah masuk database mereka dan dalam tahap pemrosesan. Tolong bantu doa ya, friends! Doa untuk kelancaran serta supaya Tuhan Yesus buka pintu untuk sebuah scholarship, karena jujur aja ortuku gak sanggup membiayai aku. Dan masa...

L ama ga pernah dapet 'PR' blog, kali ini, Icha ngasih aku PR. Here we go: 5 Alasan kenapa saya suka blogging: 1. Jadi saluran hobi nulis 2. Jadi salah satu alat untuk aku mencatat serta membagikan betapa Tuhan Yesus itu nyata dalam hidupku 3. Jadi tempat curhat 4. Jadi salah satu buku harian yang bisa aku update dimanapun aku (asal ada internet) 5. Bisa punya banyak teman. 5 tipe blog yang saya sukai: 1. Isinya seru, menguatkan iman dan menarik. 2. Isinya tidak dibuat-buat, alias memang benar-benar terjadi. 3. Tidak terlalu bertele-tele 4. Pemiliknya ramah. 5. Blog contentnya ga terlalu banyak/ yang penting-penting aja. 5 blogs yg paling sering saya kunjungi: (sama kayak Icha :D) 1. Blog sendiri 2. Blog temen2 yg ada di list 3. Blog yg ngasi komen ato ninggalin pesen di shoutbox. 4. Blog yg direkomendasiin temen 5. Blog yg pemiliknya jg sering ngunjungin gw. 5 blogger yg dapet giliran ngerjain PR: Yang ini, sapa aja mau ngerjain boleh deh. :) The tears I cried become diamonds...

A week has passed away since the tearful moments I had. Yes, I was in shock, too. However, reality wakes me up, this is for real... I'm not dreaming. I guess it's time for... "The Long Goodbye" I know they say if you love somebody You should set them free (so they say) But it sure is hard to do Yeah, it sure is hard to do And I know they say if they don't come back again Then it's meant to be (so they say) But those words ain't pulling me through Cos I'm still in love with you I spend each day here waiting for a miracle But it's just you and me going through the mill (climbin' up a hill) [Chorus] This is the long goodbye Somebody tell me why Two lovers in love can't make it Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart? No matter how hard I try You're gonna make me cry Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it All that's happening here is a long goodbye Sometimes I ask my heart did we really Give ou...

H ello all my friends! I am back after hiatus for a while, with a new blog design and new chapter of life... What do I mean by new chapter of life? Well... sadly, Lan and I did not make it through. Due to some personal matters, we agree to be just friends. It is not that we didn't try hard enough, we did... but God's plan says different and we chose to follow. And we are just human, who can feel hurted, sad and broken, it was such a difficult decision that we had to take. So... here I am, all alone again, but with Jesus all around me. I also have decided to postpone my trip back to UK until January. I need some time, to adjust with the lost in my heart and to take care of something. Please, I ask you all kindly, pray so that The Lord strengthen me and also that The Lord opens the door for me for my future. I am planning to find a scholarship/sponsorship so that I can continue to study a PhD in Computer Science. Please... please... please... I need your prayers and support....

*A gain* I will be on hiatus, friends! Tonight, by car, my family will be on the road to Surabaya. My dad will drive us all the way there. We are going for 'holiday' because it's Galungan & Kuningan holiday here, so my little bro and sis are on holiday. It's also going to be my grandma's birthday. And I have to renew my passport. So many things to do, so little time I have... God... I am so tired... and so heartbroken...

22 years old - umurku sekarang. There is no difference between 21 and 22, it feels the same... But yeah... with increasing age, comes an increasing responsibility. My mum called me a grown-up now, so I have to become one. I am glad, though, I can celebrate my birthday with my family and Viona (my uni friend, who came specially from Jakarta). It's such a rare thing for me to be able to celebrate my birthday at home. It felt so good to be in the midst of my family. But it wasn't complete, since Lan was far away... Then again, somehow, I felt he's always around me and be with me. He's so close to me; in my heart, in the beat of my life. Actually, every year of my birthday always teaches me how much I am loved in this world; by my Papi Mami, my brothers & sister, my daddy Philip (who specially came down from KL to Denpasar to see me), my friends (Yulia, Viona, friends in FS and also all of you, who wished me a happy birthday) and also people around me. For the year...

O kay, friends... I am back with the full stories I promised you all, yesterday... Here we go! Sunday, 05 Nov 2006 Singapore - Malaysia Education Fair in J. W. Marriot Surabaya, 2 p.m. until 8 p.m. It was a busy afternoon, especially for me it was the first time, I ever touched on marketing. I had to promote the James Cook University (throughout the fair). Something embarassing happened during the fair *of which I better not tell, hehe...* The night, Mee chan stayed over. We talked until about 2.30 a.m. I am still glad that we met twice (I met her on Thursday, the night I arrived in Surabaya). She became like a sister immediately. We shared and talked as if we are friends for a long time already. Monday, 06 Nov 2006 Education Fair at Regent Hotel, Malang. We left Surabaya with a chartered bus at 9 a.m. I got to see a little bit of Lapindo hot mud, but nothing special or exciting. Malang's fair wasn't as good as the fair in the other places. It was very boring, but from th...

H ola!!! I just got back last night... Still super duper tired... So please patiently wait for my next post about my one-week journey! See you soon!!! :)

G uys, I have to be on hiatus for awhile... Going to be away from home until 12 November 2006. I will be busy with my uncle's education fair in several towns... Pray for the success, the safety of the trip and for me. I will take this busy time as a time for my mind to rest in peace for awhile... For you all, God bless you always in your every-days! He is always with you. The tiredness of mine is unbearable... Will you give me an answer that lets me know the path that I have to take? I am waiting, always... in the tiredness of mine. And yet, I still love you... very much. God be with you and help you to decide. To the one and only, the person, whom I still take as my fiance. With all my love.

S elesainya Lebaran berarti selesai sudah liburan. So... setelah seminggu ke belakang aku sekeluarga sibuk meng- handle tamu, sekarang kita bisa santai, karna semua tamu-tamu (teman-teman orang tuaku serta sanak saudara) sudah pada pulang. Cuma ya sekarang kita lagi rajin tidur untuk menebus kekurangan jam tidur yang diakibatkan seringnya pulang malam pada masa-masa Idul Fitri kemarin. --- Sekian sekilas info --- Hehehe... kayak baca berita koran aja ya? :P Niwei, October is flying and November is rolling in, it's a busy month for me. From 6th November to 12th November, I will travel through Malang, Jogja, Solo, Bandung and Jakarta to help my uncle by being one of his staffs in the Universal Singapore-Malaysia Education Fair. I am looking forward to this event, because I am sure I will gain much lessons and experience from the other staffs. After that, back to Denpasar, there will be my aunty, who lives in America, waiting to be visited while she's having a holiday here....

F or all my friends, who celebrate the Ramadhan, I'd like to say... Happy Ramadhan to you all! I am sorry for all the wrongs that I might have done to you all. God bless you always! Ramadhan holiday is a busy time for me... because there are many of my parents' friends are staying for holiday in Bali. So we are busy visiting and going out with them. In addition, my mum's brothers are also here, which means that we have to make time to see them as well. Right now at my house, it feels like a children dormitory!! Three of my cousins are here and one of them is a 7 month old baby. Can you imagine how crowded and busy the house is (with 4 children and one baby). Right now, I feel so tired... so, I better end this post! *hugs* God never promises that life will be an easy straight-way journey. There are times when we need to turn to the right or to the left, change the gear, adjust the speed... And times, where we find a 'traffic jam', a flat tire... But He promises...

A ll alone, I am now. Lan has gone back home to Beijing and he had fulfilled the promise he made me that he will come to see my parents and seek their permissions. In fact, he asked permissions not only from my parents but also from my godfather and my grandma. I am so blessed that they all accept him happily. My parents even started to miss him right when he left and my grandma was thinking about his journey all the time. It has been a great time with him. We learnt many new things about each other, life and marriage. It's been good. Praise The Lord for that! Now, it's my turn. November is a busy month for me. The first two weeks, I will be busy helping my uncle with a Singapore-Malaysian education fair. I will be going to Malang, Surabaya, Solo and Jakarta. Then, I will have to renew my passport, apply the Chinese tourist visa and buy the airline ticket to go to Beijing to see his parents. I have faith in our relationship, especially after my family gave positive responds...

I t's been more than a week since I typed my last posting. Yes, I have been too lazy and too tired to update, maybe I am enjoying my time with Lan too much. Hehehe... To let you know, I am having a great time while he is here since 4 October 2006 ago. We went to Kuta beach to watch sunset, Ubud, Kintamani (we had a nice lunch with a spectacular outdoor view there) and also Tanah Lot. I take all those times as precious memories together... we also went to the cinema; he was quite shock knowing that the cinema ticket only cost around £1.50, which is very cheap compared to England's £5.00 per person. Other than those nice times together, there were many things went on. Lan got baptized on 09.10.2006, with a Christian name Paul . We were very glad. Congratulations, Lan! And welcome to the Kingdom of God! In addition, we also had many talks with my parents about our relationship. I am very pleased to know that my parents are positive about us and like Lan very much. They already ...

A s you all know, Lan arrived on Wednesday from Beijing. I was so happy to see him again, my heart was pounding so fast when I picked him up in front of the arrival gate at Ngurah Rai Airport. He's staying at my house, at my brother's room to be exact. We have so much to talk about together... He is doing well; having a great time with my little brother and sister and adjusting well with my family. Somehow, Lan manages to comunicate with Han-han and Grace. I don't know how, but they just get along so well. Fyi, Lan can't speak Indonesian. He and my parents get along well, too. We haven't talked seriously yet, because at the moment, there is a guest from London staying at my house. So we are extremely busy and I am extremely tired (while I'm typing this posting). Tomorrow, we plan to go on a tour (with my dad as the driver, hehehe) around Bali to show the guest and Lan the main attractions (or famous places) of Bali. Hopefully, they will enjoy the tour and hav...

M y heart is beating so fast... One more night! Several more hours! I will see him again, very very soon... After exactly one whole month, we have not seen each other, Finally, I am meeting him again tomorrow night. My heart is full with joy and happiness. I can't stop thanking God. I still can't believe that he is really coming (but I have too!) I am so so so happy! :D

D i tengah-tengah dag-dig-dug menanti datangnya Lan, aku lagi ngerasa sumpek banget di rumah. There is someone, who came and being so nosy... Staying for two weeks and hasn't showed any sign that she's going to leave my house. If I don't consider her as somebody, whom I have to respect, I would gladly and openly ask her to leave this house immediately. Sorry for being so harsh and rude, but her attitude and words are undeniably sharp and painful to the listener. Any negative attitude you can think of, she has them... God, please give me the patience to bear the presence of this person. I have tried to be considerate, but sorry, you are somebody, who doesn't even deserve that compensation. God, forgive me for being so rude.

S eptember is at its end... Unnoticely, I have been at home for almost a month now. And it has been a month as well I have not seen Lan. Yes, we still chat and text each other, but we both agree that the relationship needs the ability to see each other easily to be able to grow. However, through the experience of being apart from each other, we learn that our feelings are true towards each other and to test our seriousness. Therefore, although being far away from him makes me feel sad sometimes, most of the times I thank God because I learn many precious lessons; about my feelings, his feelings, his seriousness and many others. Every step of our life is really a meaningful lesson. Anyway, 6 days to go and I grow really nervous... Hoping and praying that all will go well when Lan comes to meet my parents. Please pray for us, friends. That's all for now, I think. God bless you all!

10 days feels like a century to me right now... Waiting is never a good activity ever for me, but, I have to be patient. Ugh... I really can't wait until Lan comes. I miss him so so so much!! I miss the time we spent together; all our laughters, conversations and annoyances towards each other hehehe... He is nervous and I am, too. Yes... this is the first time and will be the only time I introduce a man, whom I love so much, as the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, to my parents. I pray that everything will go well when he comes. I take my parents' excitement and expectance as a positive sign that they are looking forward to meet Lan and to get to know him. I wish time would go fast forward to Wednesday, 04 October 2006, the day and the time I see him, and freeze so that I can spend my days with him forever. *huhuhu... am I drunk with love?! :p* Apart from my impatience, I am enjoying my time at home. What do I do at home? Not much really... help my mot...

Y esterday, I finally chatted with Lan again after being not able to contact him in the days, where he was on the flight home and taking a rest afterwards. Both of us miss each other so much that we can't wait for the day we will meet each other again. He said he is coming soon; at the end of this month or early next month. I am excited and I know, my parents are also expecting his visit. They keep asking about the date he is coming and about his news. I take it as a good sign. So far... my parents are positive when we talk about Lan. Another thing that makes me double happy is that when he is coming to Bali , he will be baptized. Praise the Lord for that! I am really proud of him, even when he was back in Beijing, he went to church by himself to church! Something that I did not expect. Oh, I am so joyful! God bless him! And I feel blessed. My brother, Erwin, arrived safely in Brighton on Sunday. Next Monday, the second year of his Architecture study will begin. I am proud of ...

Q uiet it has become, ever since Erwin, my 19-year-old brother flew back to England yesterday. Not necessarily very quiet, but it feels different when the family is not whole. I was sad to see him go, but I know God has prepared many marvelous miracles for him there. I am sure the Lord will protect, bless, guide and teach him there. I know we (my parents and I) have to learn to let him go, so that he grows mature and closer to the Lord. Onto another topic. Right now, I am not in a healthy condition. I got sore throat, dizzy head and burning nose. It is a suffering... but, at least, I have my mum here to take care of me, hehehehe... Okay, that's all for now. My sister, Grace, is waiting for me to go to sleep. Have a blessed week ahead!

M y family rarely has much time to be united together, ever since Erwin and I started going overseas for education. And this year is the extreme one, I think. For the whole year, we are only united for 10 days!! Yup... I arrived on 06 September 2006 and Erwin is flying back to Brighton to start his second year of university on 16 September 2006. Can you imagine that? I never know when is the next time I will see him, as we have separate ways *could it be on my wedding day?! Hihihihi...* So for the moment (and especially for this holiday), I'd like to spend as much time as possible with my family... Right now, there are some problems arising, so I want to give support to my parents and to help as much as I could. In the middle of that, I am also busy looking and applying for jobs; mostly are jobs in United Kingdom and Singapore. So, please... please... pray for me so that The Lord will open the door that He wants me to enter and that I will become wise in choosing which job to a...

T oday, I am so excited to go to church... I miss the time going to church together with my family and I miss the spiritual feelings that I can never feel the same elsewhere. I cried. My million thanks were not enough to express how much I am grateful for all that Jesus done in my life; taking me overseas to learn many things and every time bringing me back safely home. I am always touched by His grace and mercy; the never-ending love He shows me through my family, friends, loved ones and especially through Lan. Thank you, Lord, for the protection and the promises You have given unto my family. For I believe, although the earth may pass away and the heaven tumbles down, Your words will be fulfilled. You will do as You promise. I believe and I trust in You. Life is hard for our family, but I believe You are taking us to a higher level; closer to you and more intimate... to become your beloved family. Thank you, Father! The greatest priviledge on earth and in heaven is to be loved b...

H ello everyone!! I am at home, right now!!!! Feeling jetlag and tired still... The internet is so slow... that it becomes a pain to me to go online. Anyway, thanks for wishing me a safe trip. I appreciate it very much! Huhuhu... I miss Lan so much now...

I am feeling nervous right now... Soon I will be on my long journey to go home. For several days, my emotions were up and down... I really cannot distinguish between sadness and happiness; sometimes I suddenly cried just because I don't want to be far from Lan... This is the hardest time for me to leave United Kingdom. It used to be so excited, it used to be so happy for me to know that in several days I will be with my family. But now, it's different... I have someone I love dearly here and it breaks my heart to leave him... I noticed the sadness in your heavy voice... The hesitation you have in making choice... I know it must be hard for you these several days... Letting me go and saying goodbye everytime the day ends. I feel it, too... But I'd rather pretend to not know; Rather try to make you smile and laugh; Rather think that this is not the end and you will surely come; I'd rather not say 'goodbye'... For I miss you already before I actually go. And each ...

Lemparan sasando dari big sist... L ama ga kena timpuk, eh kali ini ketimpuk juga sama big sist Tuteh . Ya wis... here we go: Fave: Color: pastel colors especially pastel blue. Food: My mum's cooking 'Ayam bumbu rujak', but any food will be fine, except the hot spicy one. Song: Um... there are lots of songs I like :D Movie: Ever after Sport: Swimming. it's the only one I enjoy :p Day of the week: Any day is fine, for God made them all great! Ice cream: Haagen Dazs ice cream; chocolate chips, rum and raisin and strawberry cheesecake. Currents: Mood: mixture of happy and sad; happy of our engagement, sad of the little time left before I fly home. Taste: Ummm... nothing, I just drank plain water haha... Clothes: White t-shirt and green trousers. Desktop: 'peace, love and understanding' wallpaper. Toe nail color: natural Time: 5.57 PM Annoyance: hunger *almost dinner time* Thoughts: 'cook first? Or shower first?' First Best friend: Yulia (From Junior High, u...

T uesday, 29th August 2006 has became a special day for both Lan and I. Why? Well... let me tell you the story. Around five in the afternoon, Lan rang me telling me not to cook, because he will treat me for dinner. So I just waited with no thought of what will happen afterward. In the middle of me watching Marrying a Mafia , my phone rang again. It was Lan, saying that he is outside the entrance door of the hall I live. It was about six o'clock. I quickly paused the movie, grabbed my keys and ran to open the door for him. When I met him at the door, he was formally clothed and holding a bouquet of roses (and a plastic bag). I was surprised... for him to buy me a bouquet of roses in United Kingdom was the first time, I don't ask for it, because I know flowers are quite expensive here. Suspicion came to me for awhile along with the question 'what is he up to this time?!' . But I quickly brushed it off thinking that maybe he was just being nice since we only have several d...

F inally, writing up dissertation is finished. I am waiting for my supervisor's feedback at the moment, so that I can polish it up for the final touch. Time feels so slow and yet so fast... On one hand, I want it to slow down and give me more time to spend with Lan. On the other... I want to see my family. I can't help but cry if my thoughts come across this. So many 'what if' rise up between us in our conversations that often I have to try hard to hold my tears from rolling down. At least, by doing that, by acting strong, he will be encouraged and his worry will not be added. The thoughts about the future can be very overwhelming and tiring... So many possibilities and yet so many uncertainties. All I can do and all I WANT to do is to lay my future and his down in Jesus' hands. I know, for sure, He has the best plans for both of us... and whatever happens; whatever comes in front of us, at the end of the day, I will confidently say, "It was worth going throu...

J ust feel like posting today... In the midst of being busy, The Lord has been continually showing His love, mercy and blessings to me. A specific thing that He has opened my eyes to, has made me forever grateful. It adds to the numerous of proofs that He loves me so much, always gives the best for me and has the best plan for my life. I am so so glad... I cannot even express how glad I am, but, believe me, I am! Now, I can really say, "I have met the right man," and I admitted my mistake in the past and realized the previous ones (that I thought was right for me) was the wrong ones. The Lord brought them into my life just for temporarily; to teach me lessons. So, I will not regret the fact that they were part of my life, once. Rather than regret, I am thankful. This posting is vague, isn't it? Hehehe... Never mind. Have a blessed weekend, everyone! Without you From the moment I open my eyes to start the day, you are there... In everything I do, you are in my mind. Ever...

I think it's better to let you guys know, rather than just gone missing with no news what so ever... I will be hiatus for an indefinite time (at the most until I finish my dissertation and fly home). Right now, I have so many things to do and think about. So, I guess, it is better if I focus on the more important things, first. Until then, God bless you all! Adios! Pretty boy - M2M I lie awake at night See things in black and white I’ve only got you inside my mind You know you have made me blind I lie awake and pray That you will look my way I have all this longing in my heart I knew it right from the start Chorus Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you Like I never ever loved no one before you Pretty pretty boy of mine Just tell me you love me too Oh my pretty pretty boy I need you Oh my pretty pretty boy I do Let me inside Make me stay right beside you I used to write your name And put it in a frame And sometime I think I hear you call Right from my bedroom wall You stay a little whi...

S orry for not updating for awhile... Been trying to speed up on my dissertation. Since my supervisor will be back next week, I've tried to at least finish up the programming part. The good news is that it only needs polishing up and some testing to do. And soon, I will be writing up my dissertation. For the weekend, I will be away to Manchester. Spending some time at my friend's house. She is having an Indonesian gathering lunch at her place. So, I am very looking forward on eating some home food. Hehehe... I will visit you all when I get back. Till then, I hope you have a great weekend! God bless!

B each! Hehehe... We had such a great time when we went to the beach at New Brighton yesterday! In the morning, we met in front of my accommodation at 10.05. I was in a rush because I had to make 8 sandwiches for our lunch. *sama-sama lagi bokek, makanya bikin makan siang sendiri biar hemat * Then, we went to Liverpool Central Station to catch the train. New Brighton is not very far from Liverpool. It is less than an hour journey by train. The town itself does not have much to see, only the beach ! Yesterday was a good day (although at the end I felt it was very HOT!), we took our time walking along the beach, seeing the kids swam and playing with the water. Unfortunately, the tide rose very quick yesterday. It was only 1.30 pm and almost all the sand area is covered by the water, but anyway, we had a great time. We actually got time to sit on the beach and eat our lunch. It was like a picnic. Hehehe... Then, we walked around until we got lost and had to ask for direction to get t...

E xcitement is growing within me, looking at the calendar, realizing that next week we are already in the month of August. Yes... a month to go before I fly home to Denpasar. It has been one year since the last time I saw my family. However, excitement is not the only feeling that is growing. I also feel sad and worried... How am I suppose to part from Lan? I, now, know the difference between having an LDR and a day-to-day relationship. The latter one feels more real; you can learn about each other better, you can know each other deeper and it makes your day more colourful! I, now, feel so attached to him that I don't know how I am going to cope going home and being far from him. We talk about this often; about how both of us going to handle all the time being away from each other. At the end of the day, I can only say: "If we are really true to each other and honest about our love, distance should not break us apart." He added, "In fact, nothing shoud break us apa...

W hile watching television at Lan's place after dinner, we got our eyes on a program called Driving Mum and Dad MAD . In it, they showed several English parents, who have problematic children. The problem is simply the children are too WILD and uncontrolable. God... it left me shocked; there are kids, who tell their parents to shut up and swear at them, there are kids who spit in the house and many other unbelievable attitudes. They are just too immoral for a kid, I think, especially towards the parents. To be honest, these behaviours might not entirely be the kids' fault. From what I saw in the program, the parents really play a huge role on these acts. How can you expect your children not to swear when you are swearing while talking with them or in front of them all the time? And some of the kids do those nasty things, simply because they want attention from the parents... but the parents are always TOO busy doing their own things and never think about spending good times wit...

N ew layout! Hehehe... I had been very lazy posting on my blog these days; most of the times I spend with Lan or doing my dissertation bit by bit. I only have a month left before I go home, so I want to spend as much time as I can with him. This layout, ummm..., what can I say? Lan actually bought the set of 'key-shaped' pendants shown in the corner up there *pointing to the top of the layout*. The one with the black stones is his, and the other one is mine. So we are a pair *grin*. The colours are mostly his favourite colours; red and black. I added white and pink, so that it would not be so dark and making it at least girly for my blog. However, I find the red is a bit too much, should I make it darker? (the font colour, I mean) Have your say, friends. :) Sorry for my laziness of not updating nor blogwalking, but will do soon. Ps. come to think of it, I might not move to blogsome.com, I am just too lazy. Hihihi... Have a good week, peeps!

Y up! Lan doyan indomie! Hehehe... Semuanya berawal dari hari Senin minggu lalu, di mana pas dia nganterin aku pulang ke rumah, perutnya tiba-tiba ngerasa laper. So, it started like this: Lan (L): Do you have anything quick and easy to eat? Me (M): Umm... I have instant noodles. L: I'll have them then. M: But I have to warn you it is not the instant noodles that you usually have. It's an Indonesian instant noodles, which in my point of view is much tastier. Don't blame me if you get addicted to it. (Hihihi... he gets addicted to almost every food I introduce to him, such as, Thai Chili Sauce Walker Crisp and Haagen Dazs ice cream) Jadilah pulang rumah, aku langsung masak Indomie rasa 'ayam bawang' buat dia, aku masukin juga chili powdernya, krn aku tahu si Lan doyan pedas. M: *Sambil bawa mangkok* Here you go! Enjoy! Aku berdiri di pinggirnya selagi dia nyruput mie. L: Hmmmm!! This is good! *Hehehe... I told you, so!* To cut the story short, ever since then, h...

M y laptop is up and running again! Yippee!! From 40 Gb to 60 Gb, I can feel it is much faster (but I am much more bankrupt! *sob*) Anyway, just a quick post to tell you guys this good news. It's almost 2 AM in the morning now and I am so sleepy, but just finished installing programs that I need. (except Photoshop! Arghh... Have to ask Lan for Photoshop now.) I will blogwalk as soon as possible. Tomorrow I am still busy with my project because I have a meeting with my supervisor on Wednesday. So... see you soon guys! Special huge thanks to Lan! Thanks, love, without you, I don't know what I'd do. You've been such a blessing from God to my life.

W ithout Internet, I still can live as long as I have my laptop. Without my laptop, life is so deadly boring! This week had been so tiring! Purchased a HDD , but it got the wrong interface. Hence, I have to refund it and buy the right one. Guess what? The right one costs more expensive that the wrong one. Oh God, I am bankrupt! Anyway, guys..., gotta go! My friend is going to meet up with me soon! I am in the library checking my e-mails and blogwalking. Really... can't live without my beloved but annoying laptop! Have a blessed weekend!! God bless! Ps. I hope my laptop will be 'healthy' by next week. Ciao!

L ast week, Lan and I had hot pot for dinner in my flat kitchen. It is sort of a traditional chinese way of eating together with friends or family, while having plenty of time to have conversation. It was nice and very relaxing. I had a nice time talking to him about a lot of things. He did took some photos of the event, but I can't upload them now because my HDD has completely crashed and I can't use the laptop at all. So maybe later when the laptop is fixed, I will upload the photos. Yep... my HDD has finally RIP . I have bought a new one, which cost me 80 pounds (because I have to buy the 1.8" HDD instead of 2.5" one). But really... my laptop is giving me so much trouble. When trying to open up the case to change the HDD, there is this one screw that screwed both of us up. No matter how hard we try to unscrew it, it just would not move a single bit. So finally, this morning, we went to a machinery shop that has all those handy but expensive tools. And... Yay! Th...

F irst of all, I'd like to thank you all that had given me encouragements in the previous post . It is like you guys build up my confidence and hope to carry on. Thank you! *hugs* Right now, I am looking around for Hard Disk Drives' prices... Since the state of my laptop is getting worse each time I turn it on, I am starting to think that it will not be able to survive until September. And with Lan offering help to install it (if I decide to buy it here in England), I am almost convinced to buy it here and fix it as soon as possible. Having a slow laptop is killing driving me mad!! I just can't stand it! So hopefully soon, this matter should be solved. Also, right now, I am thinking of moving my blog from blogger to blogsome. What do you guys think? Should I do that? My blog address will still be the same, it's just different blog operator. If so, does anyone know how to transfer my old posts from blogger to blogsome (if it's possible)? Okay, I think that's al...

A fter a conversation with Lan yesterday, I cannot stop myself from thinking about the 'future' of our relationship. With the uncertainty of our own future; where we would be, what we would do, will we get a job after the graduation, it seems that the deadline of our relationship will be on the 5th September 2006, that is the day I fly home. No. Not that we don't have the faith for us and not that we don't want to do our best to make it happen. It's just that too many questions and possibilities ahead. This story of mine sounds so sad to myself. Maybe it is just too much; he is from Beijing, I am from Indonesia and we met in England. It is a complexity to us. He has a job waiting at home, I have a family responsibility to take and don't know where I end up after the graduation. It is like... we try to talk through it but all we get is an empty answer, simply null . Despite all, I still believe there is always a chance and a possibility for us to make it through....

I 'm back after a week! Thanks very much for the concerns I've received from all of you, friends. I am so much better than the last time I wrote. Yup! Sekarang sudah bisa jalan dengan 'rada' normal, tapi jempol masih bengkak, biru ungu plus kuku masih ga jelas keadaannya. Kalo kelamaan berdiri atau ga sengaja bertumpu pada jempol, rasa nyeri masih terasa. Thanks to Lan , I can recover quite quickly. I am really touched and flattered by all his attention, patience and effort in taking care of me. For the whole week, I felt as if I was in my own private hospital with my very own doctor, chef, friend and helper. He cooked for me and provided me with meals three times a day, washed the dishes, got me whatever I needed, cheered me up and spoiled me with fancy and nice food. He is TOO good to be true! (That's what I always say to him, hehehe...) Seminggu skripsi terbengkalai, tapi presentasi tetep harus jalan terus. Jadinya Jumat kemarin, selambat siput berjalan, aku dit...

A lo semua... sorry banget ga sempet blogwalking sama sekali. Kemarin aku dapet kecelakaan *yang aku bikin sendiri* One of the things that I hate so much in England is their doors. Semuanya berat-berat dan butuh tenaga ekstra untuk narik/dorong pintu. Nah... ceritanya, kemarin jam 9 malem, si Lan dateng ke tempatku untuk minta tolong nge-print and penjelasan tentang paper yang aku bikin dulu. Waktu buka pintu masuk ke flatku, secara ga sengaja, pintu itu kena jempol kaki kananku. Aku liat kukuku posisinya njeplak dan darah mulai keliatan ngambang di bagian dalamnya. Duh... cekot-cekot rasanya. Tapi aku tetep mikir aku ga papa dan maksain untuk naik tangga ke lantai 2 (tempat kamarku berada). Sampe di atas, darah dah netes-netes... si Lan dah panik and coba telpon 999. Pas nyambung, ditanyain ini itu, si lady bilang keadaanku ga terlalu darurat untuk ambulans jemput aku. Tapi dia bilang, dia akan suruh seorang nurse untuk telpon balik untuk ngecek apa perlu ambulans ato ngga. Anyway....

When you are sad, think of your shadow. Even if you run away, it will follow you. Whatever may fall on you, you can be sure that it will not leave you. - unknown Ps. sorry, not really in the mood for posting up my days. Will do as soon as I get the mood. :)

W hen You feel tired and hopeless because all your efforts turn out to be nothing, God knows how hard you have tried. When You cried for so long, yet your heart is still painful, God has counted your teardrops. When you think that your life is waiting for something and time goes so fast, God is waiting with you. When you feel lonely and your friends are too busy to call you, God is always by your side. When you think you have tried everything and don't know what else to do, God has the answer. When everything does not make sense and you feel depressed, God can calm you down. When you suddenly see a trace of hope, God is whispering to you. When everything goes well and you feel like giving thanks, God has blessed you. When something beautiful happens and you are filled with awe, God has smiled to you. When you have visions to fulfill and dreams to make them come true, God has opened you eyes and called you by name. Remember that wherever you are facing... GOD knows.

H ola everyone! Apa kabar semua? Weekend pada ngapain? Aku sudah pindah ke tempat baru sekarang... lebih kecil kamarnya, sharing kamar mandi and dapur, tapi lebih deket dengan kampus. Baru kemarin pindahan, hari ini badan masih pegel-pegel rasanya. Untungnya kemarin dibantuin Lan and seorang temen gereja, jadi pegelnya ga keterlaluan. Weekend ini rencana ga kemana-mana, mo take a rest aja, lagian ada tugas programming yang masih belum kelar *hiks* Yo wis itu aja kali ya... aku lagi capek berat, kepengen balik tidur lagi rasanya... Have a blessed weekend, everyone! God bless you all! Continue to love and miss that person, Love will come again. Just like playing a game of hide and seek. Even if you cannot see it, Love must be waiting somewhere. Lost amongst all the chaos, But kept in our prayers. Those people in love will surely meet again. - Spring Waltz, 2006

K emarin, aku dapet surat dari high school-ku, GVGS . Isinya ternyata tentang event di tahun 2006 ini. Pas baca daftar event yang bakal take place tahun ini, aku langsung fokus ke daftar acara reuni. Memang aku dah expect tahun ini bakal ada acara reuni untuk alumni lulusan tahun 2001 (that is the year I graduated from high school). Ditulis di surat itu the first reunion for Class 2001 is on 18 November 2006 . Lah... my birthday donk?! Huhuhu... Sejak habis baca itu, aku jadi kepikiran dan bertanya-tanya sendiri... Dateng gak yah?! Secara sekarang Australian visa-ku sudah expired and keadaan ekonomi yg ruwet, aku rada gak yakin bakal balik lagi ke Australia hanya untuk reuni... Apalagi ada rencana kumpul-kumpul keluarga pas hari ultahku juga. So ya... we will see. Pingin sih dateng... ketemu temen-temen lama lagi, bernostalgia and lihat perkembangan di sekolah plus ketemu guru-guruku dulu. Hiks... I miss Australia. BUT, thinking it over and over... I might not go at all. Still... I fe...

H ello people! I hope you all were not wondering whether I am away again or not. This week I've been going to Campus regularly to see my supervisor and get some books from the library. My dissertation starts this week... plenty of reading, thinking and programming to do. So please pray for me. With the summer holiday started already, the campus is so empty now... the undergraduate students are enjoying their holidays, but not us, the postgraduate, we still have to study. Anyway, soon in three months time, I will be finished. And hopefully, have a job waiting for me *fingers crossed!* Apart from that, I am also in the middle of packing my stuff up. Yep! I am moving to a different dormitory. Since my contract will end on 10th June 2006, I have to find some where else to live. I cannot stay longer here, because during the summer this dormitory is booked for conferences. It was quite hard finding a place to live during this time of the year *it's like the odd time of the year* T...

W aktu blogwalking, aku baru tau ternyata diriku dapet PR dari my beloved sista, Mee chan. Here it is: 4 jobs you've had in your life - Guest Relation Office @ John Robert Powers, Denpasar. Cuma 3 bulan aja, kebetulan temporary vacancy. - Undergraduate Researcher @ Department of Mathematical Science, Univ. of Liverpool. So far, itu aja. Abisnya berkutat jadi murid terus sih :P 4 Movies you could watch over and over - Ever After - Finding the Neverland - Il Mare (Korean) - Madagascar 4 TV shows you love(d) to watch - Amazing Race - America's Next Top Model - (any) Cooking programme - Asian dramas; Goong (Palace), The Last Dance is With Me, Spring Waltz, etc. 4 places you have lived - Surabaya, my birthplace - Denpasar, where I grew up until 15 years old - Shepparton, Australia - Liverpool, United Kingdom 4 of your favorite foods - ayam bumbu rujak bikinan mami - dimsum; ceker ayam & ha kauw udang (sama kayak Mee chan *toss*) - tahu tek - mie surabayan (mie tempo doeloe yang ...

K ebiasaan beberapa minggu jarang posting, jadi bikin aku kagok untuk update blog... sampe pada ngira aku ngilang lagi, eheheh... Well, here I am. Minggu ini, skripsi dimulai. Rasanya bener-bener ga ada istirahatnya deh ya... Ada paper setebal 44 halaman yang mesti dibaca dan dimengerti untuk menjalani skripsi yang satu ini. Dalam jangka waktu 3 bulan, aku harus bisa beres, secara tanggal 5 September 2006 aku akan terbang menuju home sweet home . AKu bener-bener sudah ga sabar untuk bisa pulang lagi, ketemu keluargaku... dan mungkin juga saat itu, aku harus mengunjungi makam engkongku . Aku masih merasa sesak saat ini... rasa sedihku seperti tersumbat di dalam hatiku. Lebih terasa helpless berada beribu-ribu kilometer dan tidak bisa membantu apa-apa daripada berada di sana dan menangis tersedu-sedu. Tapi yah... aku bisa apa? Sometimes things does not always go the way we want it to be... Sementara itu, adikku si Erwin sudah tiba di Surabaya dengan selamat hari Rabu yang lalu. Kepulan...

A loha!!! I am back from busy days... I miss my blogging world so much hehehe... probably missed a lot of stories as well from you guys. Oh well... now that the exams are over , I can have a little bit relaxation for myself. For the last several weeks, I and my feelings have been up and down... There are times I am sad, stressed out, happy, leaping in joy, oh... it is a mixture of feelings. Well, I don't really want to discuss any of them in particular, but this post is just to tell you that I am back. Now, I have so much blogwalking to do! So wait for me in your blog, okay!! God bless you all! And have a nice week ahead! Your journey had ended that day... Saturday, 20th May 2006 at approx. 09.00 a.m. WIB. Have a nice rest, Grandpa... Sorry, I did not have the chance to say 'I love you' for the last time. Sorry, I cannot be there to say 'goodbye'. Sorry, for making you cry when we had our conversation on the phone between the million miles. Sorry... and sorry... for...

What am I? That You say, "You need me"... What am I? That You ask for my time... What am I? That You ask for my heart and life... I am forever grateful, Lord... That You favor me. That You love me. That You do miracles in my life. That You want to use me. Thank You for being my everything. I love you, Father... - nie @ 18 May 2006.

For You are my lamp, O LORD; The Lord shall enlighten my darkness. For by You I can run against a troop; By my God I can leap over a wall. As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the LORD is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him. For who is God, except the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God? God is my strenght and power, and He makes my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22: 29-33 Thank you, Lord, for a better day... For lifting me up and being my strength. As for the 'battle' today, let Your will be done.

No matter how strong the raging wind is... Your tender voice is always able to calm it down. No matter how hectic my inside mind is... You are always ready to pour out peace. And no matter how much tears I drop... You always suceed to bring smiles and laughter to me. Thank you, Mom... For being who you are to me. For giving me a shoulder to rest and a peace to my mind. For unloading the stress and burdens in me. No one does it better. Ps. Sorry banget blum sempet blogwalking sama sekali. Aku lagi stress berat; banyak pikiran dan nervous banget ngadepin ujian. Mungkin nanti sesudah kelar ujian baru deh sempet keliling. For now, God bless you all!

H ola everyone! Thanks so much for your effort to keep visiting my blog while I was on hiatus. I can't say that I'm back yet... but I thought it would be nice to just post a quick news about me. I am still here... the second essay is finished, but I am still struggling to get my programming assignment done. So that's what I am busy at right now... Plus , I will be having four exams from 08th May 2006 until 19th May 2006 , so you can expect me to not posting here too often until then. After that, on 22nd May 2006 , I'll have to start my final dissertation... Hopefully, by then, I'll be more relaxed than now. So... apologize for not being able to visit you all too often. But for now, I will 'steal' some time to visit you around. Until the next one! Update: Blogwalking around is finished! Fiuh... around 3 hours visiting back all those addresses. Hopefully, soon, I'll be able to visit you all again one by one. As part of you has grown in me. And so you s...

O ne essay finished at 4 a.m. this morning with 3986 words in total! *sleepy* Another one to be started tonight! so... HIATUS mode: ON! ^^;

A khirnya ludes sudah kertas lipat yang dikirim mamiku dalam jangka waktu kurang dari seminggu! Sayangnya jumlahnya kurang, jadinya botolku hanya terisi separuh. *Ada yang mau nyumbang ngirim? Karena aku tahu di sini tidak ada yang jual kertas lipat yang seperti itu, adanya yang bujur sangkar saja* So, here is the picture. Gak terlalu jelas sih, tapi ya kanggo lah ya hehe... Tak terasa sudah 2/3 dari liburanku terlewati, tugas belum semuanya tuntas, tapi mata terasa penat karena harus membaca banyak jurnal dan buku tebal untuk mencari data... *sob* Jadi minggu depan, bakal full time doing homework deh! Tadi *jumat* aku bereksperimen di dapur. Bikin brownies... belum aku coba sih rasanya bagaimana kue yang baru keluar dari oven itu, tapi waktu mengaduk adonan, rasanya sudah pas. Aku bikin kue dalam rangka ultah si Lan tanggal 13 kemarin. Kebetulan dia sudah kembali dari Cambridge, jadi besok aku akan berkunjung ke tempatnya dengan membawa kue brownies dan hadiah ulang tahunnya . Semog...